- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
OMG YES, i’m 14 and i’ve had this theme for about 8 months. i COMPLETELY agree with you by saying i’d rather have any other theme. sorry if i seem crazy but i just agree with what you said so passionately lol
- Date posted
- 6y
The same thing happened to me when I was about your age. I read a book that had a really creepy character in it and went “that’s disgusting, I sure hope I’m never like that”. Boom, OCD time. It was horrible and I struggled with it for years and years. I just want you guys to know that it does get better. It’s not you, you don’t actually want these things, you’re good people. We have a disorder and that disorder is not us. OCD, if anything, is an intruder. We have these thoughts because being a predator is exactly what disgusts us the most!
- Date posted
- 6y
rightt. before ocd i was obsessed with caring for babies. it was my passion, holding them, babysitting, basically being a mom. i was known in my family as the one all the babies go too. and now welp
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m not glad that you have this, but I’m glad you can relate! It’s so stressful like I wish I could just wipe my brain clean or something ugh ?
- Date posted
- 6y
I am so sorry you have to do deal with. Especially at such a young age. I've struggled with similar thoughts since I was 13 on and off. That plus other sexually intrusive thoughts that are unrelated. It's so difficult because even thugh I know I would never do such horrendous things, the thoughts can be haunting. No matter what logic you apply, they can still creep in and be triggering. I'm so sorry that you go through this. It is possible for these thoughts to become less frequent.
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Does anyone else struggle with this? It's been the main thing powering my POCD, and it's only been getting worse. Especially when I see posts online of people sharing their personal stories relating to CSA, specifically grooming. It's so triggering now, but before this theme developed, the most I'd feel while reading posts like that would be disgust targeted towards people who did those things. Now, my first thought is, "What if I do something like that one day? What if I've done it before and I don't remember or didn't know I was doing it?" I have many, many different intrusive thoughts or worries related to this theme, but it all circles back to this specific fear that I'll become like the people who hurt and took advantage of me. Does anyone have advice for this? I'm not sure if I've asked a similar question in the past or not, but is this something I need to deal with separately before beginning ERP for OCD? I'm just curious and also lost on where to begin with all of this. I'm just glad I'm able to begin working through all of these issues now, rather than later in life when I'd probably have a lot more responsibilities. Anyways, any feedback is appreciated! 🤍
- POCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Older adults with OCD
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- Date posted
- 24w
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
- Date posted
- 14w
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
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