- Username
- 0Aqi0
- Date posted
- 5y ago
OMG YES, i’m 14 and i’ve had this theme for about 8 months. i COMPLETELY agree with you by saying i’d rather have any other theme. sorry if i seem crazy but i just agree with what you said so passionately lol
The same thing happened to me when I was about your age. I read a book that had a really creepy character in it and went “that’s disgusting, I sure hope I’m never like that”. Boom, OCD time. It was horrible and I struggled with it for years and years. I just want you guys to know that it does get better. It’s not you, you don’t actually want these things, you’re good people. We have a disorder and that disorder is not us. OCD, if anything, is an intruder. We have these thoughts because being a predator is exactly what disgusts us the most!
rightt. before ocd i was obsessed with caring for babies. it was my passion, holding them, babysitting, basically being a mom. i was known in my family as the one all the babies go too. and now welp
I’m not glad that you have this, but I’m glad you can relate! It’s so stressful like I wish I could just wipe my brain clean or something ugh ?
I am so sorry you have to do deal with. Especially at such a young age. I've struggled with similar thoughts since I was 13 on and off. That plus other sexually intrusive thoughts that are unrelated. It's so difficult because even thugh I know I would never do such horrendous things, the thoughts can be haunting. No matter what logic you apply, they can still creep in and be triggering. I'm so sorry that you go through this. It is possible for these thoughts to become less frequent.
thank you!!
POCD is by far the worst theme I have ever dealt with. And I’ve dealt with a lot. Atleast, with every other theme I beloved I wanted to be happy, and wanted to be loved and tried to do things that made me happy. With pocd I feel I do t deserve any of that bc I am a “bad person.” I feel actual pedophiles don’t deserve those things, so I believe that for myself. I really hope I’m not. I mean, deep down I KNOW I’m not, but ocd keeps trying to find and cling to “proof”. So shitty. It’s genuinely so exhausting. Anyone else struggling rn?
So I (16 f) haven't been diagnosed with it but I think I have OCD. Specifically POCD and real event OCD. I did something in 2021 that I regretted then and I regret even more now. I read some fanfiction that involved incest and minors and I hated it. I hated it bc it was disgusting, bc it went against my morals, and bc I read it. I was bored but I still wish I didn't read them. And since April of this year, I have been suffering bc I read them. I'm scared I'm a pedo and I really don't want to be one bc I don't want to do the things they do to kids. I Don't even find kids attractive but I get groinal responses and I'm scared that I actually do. I suffer from intrusive thoughts everyday. Even though this flair up started in April, I've been suffering from it for a couple years. But nowadays I'll be lucky to go a hour without them. I posted a similar post like this on Reddit a month or two ago and all of the comments said I wasn't a pedo and that it was POCD but I'm spiraling. During those months I would be scared I was a pedo and not be scared bc I knew it was ocd back and forth but this time it's different. I'm scared that I'm actually a pedo but I don't want to be. I don't like the thoughts and I don't want to do anything to kids. I know people say that 'if you were a pedo you would like the thoughts." Or "if you were a pedo you would know you are." And that's helped me but now I feel like I could just be in denial. I tried to not let it bother me but my brain tells me that if I don't react, that means I like the thoughts. I have younger cousins and a nephew and I hate being around them bc I'm scared that I'll get attracted to them. I hate when my younger sister hugs me bc I get scared that I'll get attracted. There has been multiple times where I just went in my bathroom and just broke down crying. And I hate crying but I cried more than I usually do. It's gotten to the point where multiple times I felt suicidal and honestly I feel like that now. But I usually got over it and realized it was just OCD but I'm scared that it's not. And I feel like if it was just thoughts then maybe it would've been better but it's the fact that I read those even though I hated it and was disgusted by it. I just really don't know what to do. I'm sorry that this post is too long.
hi everyone, i’m new to this app and it’s taken me a lot of courage to even post this or publicly say anything regarding my OCD because i feel so much shame and guilt and distress because of my POCD intrusive thoughts. it’s one of the most draining, most anxiety filled things ive ever been through. i’ve had OCD since i was little. i’ve had different themes ranging from my sexuality to health ( i still struggle with health OCD ) from awful morbid thoughts about my mother and now i’m having thoughts about children. i’ve been struggling with POCD for maybe almost 2 years and even though i know it’s OCD, im still constantly being mentally reminded it is a reflection of me. i keep getting to a point where i feel as if im starting to get better and even though i keep having a strong urge to compulse, i don’t proceed to and it’s been helping a lot. but then i get into a state where i start questioning “ what if i really don’t have OCD and these thoughts are genuinely who i am “ then i give into compulsions to check if im really an awful person. so it feels as if im back to square one. i really need advice and help and i want to know if anyone is experiencing the same thing and how you deal with it. thank you for taking the time to read this :)
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