I’ve never had sex you I feel like I can but since I haven’t and I’m 14 I feel I might be dangerous and I could be a threat to women and society. Please help me get around this
You’re way too young to be worried about this kind of stuff. I can’t reassure you but hang in there and remember that you’re still a kid
Oh my goodness I have a son who is 14 and yes this is a very young age. Get your mind in the right place go ask your parents for advice.
Being a virgin isn't the same as being an incel my friend. Incels are angry people (usually men) who feel entitled to sex and are resentful about not having access to it. Its also very normal to not have had sex at 14. There's no rush. Incel is a mindset/ideology/cult and has no relation to having had sex or not (ex. if you had sex tomorrow it wouldn't magically prevent you from being an incel). This sounds like an intrusive thought. If you have an adult in your life that you trust and feel safe with I would highly recommend you talk to them about this. 14 is a weird age to be at and having someone to unpack these concerns with will help.
I’m going to be real here… I struggle with these same thoughts and I’m older. The only way to get around them is to say “what if I am an incel?” Remember, OCD thrives off black and white thinking like this. You should learn to accept uncertainty and say “maybe I am not (or am) an incel”. Instead of reassuring yourself that you aren’t one, learn to control the things you can improve. A healthy mindset, going to gym, and good personal hygiene go a long way. Also self-awareness is key in not being an incel.
@Josean It’s weird for me because I have been trying to self improve and cut the distractions out like social media so these thoughts feel so real and my whole purpose is to find a good woman and improve myself but I kind of like avoid them because of social anxiety and I feel if I don’t chase them they chase me. I’m lost
@ethosmans Yeah I can relate to that and I’m more than twice your age. My advise is to work on your OCD first, get some exposures. Ask girls out on dates, respectfully of course, and don’t expect anything. If you get a date, great, but if not, that’s good too. At least you are making the effort. Incels don’t do that. Good luck out there, and remember, there’s plenty of more fish in the sea.
@ethosmans Also, I agree, cut back on social media. It is fueled with triggering material and full of things you don’t need to worry about. Plus it’s not representative of real human interactions.
there is a lot more to incels than just not having sex. they have a sense of entitlement to sex and don't like women because of this, and share their views with other incels who will agree with them.
Incel’s hate women, hate society, and want people who are ugly to dominate good looking people and claim their place in the world so women have sex with them… you’re not an incel. And if you ever fall down a rabbit hole of inceldom it’s really common and there’s lots of resources to get out. You’re fine my guy.
Hasan has really good commentary on YouTube about why incel ideology is ridiculous if you want some good reassurance on why you wouldn’t want to be an incel. It helped me
Listen, it will come. Don't get your head wrapped up in keeping up with peers. I struggled with that in high-school, and it ruined every day for me. You are you. You don't have to meet any social standards. Remember this phrase. " your perception dictates your reality" if you tell yourself you are a lover, how do you think you are going to feel? Like a lover. Life gets better. You are in a very tough time in life. Keep your nose in the books and out of your own head. Learn from me.
Loser* sorry, autocorrect
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
Also I read on tik tok or twitter that if u still feel connected to younger people that means you’re not progressing or maturing and that’s bad. I’m 25 and I’m at this odd stage in my life where I’m getting older but still feel like I’m 20-22. I feel like I’m behind people that are my age. I think it’s because I’m been bed rotting with severe depression for the past 4 years… but I’m scared this means I’m becoming a pedo in the future.
Hi I just have a few questions! (Im 14 btw) Okay so basically I’m really worried I’ll become a pedo/I already am and I don’t know it yet. I’m also really scared if I SA someone, even tho I don’t want to and I’d never do something like that but I feel like this part of me is saying that I will and it’s really scaring me. I feel so alone and I’m so scared I’m a bad person on the inside and this isn’t ocd and I’m gonna unleash hell on this earth I’m so scared. I’ll get a thought like if I’m walking past someone random it will be like “What if you sa them?” And it scares me so bad I feel horrible for thinking that. Is this apart of it? I feel like I’m always fixated on the topic of sa to check if I would do something like that, I don’t know anymore I just feel like a bad person (btw I have not done anything like that to anyone!)
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