- Date posted
- 2y
Is being an incel dangerous
I’ve never had sex you I feel like I can but since I haven’t and I’m 14 I feel I might be dangerous and I could be a threat to women and society. Please help me get around this
I’ve never had sex you I feel like I can but since I haven’t and I’m 14 I feel I might be dangerous and I could be a threat to women and society. Please help me get around this
You’re way too young to be worried about this kind of stuff. I can’t reassure you but hang in there and remember that you’re still a kid
Oh my goodness I have a son who is 14 and yes this is a very young age. Get your mind in the right place go ask your parents for advice.
Being a virgin isn't the same as being an incel my friend. Incels are angry people (usually men) who feel entitled to sex and are resentful about not having access to it. Its also very normal to not have had sex at 14. There's no rush. Incel is a mindset/ideology/cult and has no relation to having had sex or not (ex. if you had sex tomorrow it wouldn't magically prevent you from being an incel). This sounds like an intrusive thought. If you have an adult in your life that you trust and feel safe with I would highly recommend you talk to them about this. 14 is a weird age to be at and having someone to unpack these concerns with will help.
I’m going to be real here… I struggle with these same thoughts and I’m older. The only way to get around them is to say “what if I am an incel?” Remember, OCD thrives off black and white thinking like this. You should learn to accept uncertainty and say “maybe I am not (or am) an incel”. Instead of reassuring yourself that you aren’t one, learn to control the things you can improve. A healthy mindset, going to gym, and good personal hygiene go a long way. Also self-awareness is key in not being an incel.
@Josean It’s weird for me because I have been trying to self improve and cut the distractions out like social media so these thoughts feel so real and my whole purpose is to find a good woman and improve myself but I kind of like avoid them because of social anxiety and I feel if I don’t chase them they chase me. I’m lost
@ethosmans Yeah I can relate to that and I’m more than twice your age. My advise is to work on your OCD first, get some exposures. Ask girls out on dates, respectfully of course, and don’t expect anything. If you get a date, great, but if not, that’s good too. At least you are making the effort. Incels don’t do that. Good luck out there, and remember, there’s plenty of more fish in the sea.
@ethosmans Also, I agree, cut back on social media. It is fueled with triggering material and full of things you don’t need to worry about. Plus it’s not representative of real human interactions.
there is a lot more to incels than just not having sex. they have a sense of entitlement to sex and don't like women because of this, and share their views with other incels who will agree with them.
Incel’s hate women, hate society, and want people who are ugly to dominate good looking people and claim their place in the world so women have sex with them… you’re not an incel. And if you ever fall down a rabbit hole of inceldom it’s really common and there’s lots of resources to get out. You’re fine my guy.
Hasan has really good commentary on YouTube about why incel ideology is ridiculous if you want some good reassurance on why you wouldn’t want to be an incel. It helped me
Listen, it will come. Don't get your head wrapped up in keeping up with peers. I struggled with that in high-school, and it ruined every day for me. You are you. You don't have to meet any social standards. Remember this phrase. " your perception dictates your reality" if you tell yourself you are a lover, how do you think you are going to feel? Like a lover. Life gets better. You are in a very tough time in life. Keep your nose in the books and out of your own head. Learn from me.
Loser* sorry, autocorrect
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
Huge tw I’m so scared I’m a r*pist people have told me I am. I wanted to lose my virginity when I was 19 I felt embarrassed and ashamed I hadn’t. I decided to get drunk and find someone in a club to lose it to. I don’t remember much other than I was happy it was finally happening and remember thinking my plan had worked. I was told by friends that the other person was drunk and possibly on drugs. I must be a r*pist as I knew what I was doing and instigated it, I took advantage and used someone. I feel sick and don’t deserve to move on I can’t even apologies as it was a complete stranger what if they’re living with trauma because of me.
So one day a couple months ago I saw some posts on threads pop up on instagram and they said I’m 17 and horny and 18 and horny or I think I even remember see a 16 year old one. I’m 20 and I remembered that when those popped up I clicked on them and I don’t know if I did it out of true attraction or out of the urge to make my anxiety go away. I feel like often times if I see something that says any number under 18 even if it has nothing to do with age it could be talking about season 17 of a tv show my mind immediately goes what?? 17??? And then I click on it to make my anxiety go away. So when I remembered all of this I downloaded the threads app because I wanted to see if I could get reassurance and see if I could rekindle how I felt in these moments. When I opened the app all I saw was posts like that but everyone claimed to be 18. The only problem is none of the girls looked 18 they looked like 14-16 so I started to panic I and worry that because I clicked on the threads in the past it popped up more and I was a pedophile for that. All of the accounts all pretty much had only fans links so at that point I was like well they have to be 18 then but now I’m worried that maybe it’s a scammer and they are using underage pictures of girls and putting them on onlyfans. Which I know is out of my control but I just feel like a Pedo and like I did something wrong. Does anyone have any advice? Or have any similar situations/ similarities with this?
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