- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I can relate. When im living a 'cleaner' lifestyle im more anxious and ocd then when im getting wasted all the time. Although there are exceptions to that trend..
- Date posted
- 6y
yes I understand completely!
- Date posted
- 6y
Unfortunately this is how you develop substance abuse issues which can compound upon other mental health issues. Anyway glad im not only one.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm actually high right now.. It always feels like I need some form of substance just to get through the day. It's exhausting
- Date posted
- 6y
I dont judge. There have been times in my life when I was high oretry much 24/7. Othertimes less per day but still 7 days a week. Tried cutting back on everything this year to deal with ocd relapse. A lot of questionijg myself and values and goals these days because of it. Only managed to cut back for few months. Will probabky try again. I guess Ive been wondering "is it possible to live a "normal" life without substances". I dont know I dont want to be totally sober but I also dont want to feel dependant.
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel the exact same way. I just keep switching between alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes... I've tried so hard to distract myself and get obsessed with things I enjoy (writing, reading, tv shows) which works for a few days at a time, but ultimately I always end up needing something
- Date posted
- 6y
But obviously the cure for OCD is not to get away from the thoughts but instead go through them so if you're distracting yourself then it's not gonna do much rather than instigate your OCD
- Date posted
- 6y
I have a fear Ill get over ocd (i have before) then ill just be depressed. So i might as well use substances. Its a triangle of issues that all feed into each other. If I stoo or succeed at one thing the other dominates. To be honest I have no idea what if feels like to not take a substance for more then a few days. For the last 20 years (more then half my life). Everytime I try to find out I wind up hating it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
These are some of my experiences with some theatrical flare to better depict how it feels. I decided to share this because when I saw this community I suddenly felt less alone in more human. Lovecraftian door Lurker: I don’t know the subtypes so I’ll just be talking about my relationship with OCD. OCD! that lonely woman in the ocean singing your praise's, sure she’ll love you forever! Of course she isn’t a siren planning on dragging you to the depths and tearing you to shreds. OCD! that haunting whisper in the wind calling you to fly! fly! OCD! that Lovecraftian abomination chanting at you from behind a locked door. Banging demanding you bow to it’s will. For me it latches on to my trauma and PTSD circling them like some demented teacup ride. A daily occurance for me is recalling the day I died when I was like 6 i remeber each detail of the day the kids i met the activtes we particapated in, the heat. The height of the slide before i plummeted to my death. This day consumes my life. “Thud thud!” I ask my parents about it often they tell me it never happened i tell them they weren’t there. Each time they lie and say I’ve never told them. My boyfriend whom I’ve been with for three years hears the story offten and often deals with me asking him if he’s seen me ask my parents. “Thud Thud” Each time he says yes and I asked how they responded “like you’ve never told them.” I constantly become afraid that my boyfreind will drown because he can’t swim. “Thud! Thud!” and because he can’t swim that the car will go off the road into some body of water and he will die. ”Thud! Thud!” I feel the water filling my lungs turning them into fire, the fear of reaching out my hands with no aid. “THUD! THUD! And he will die alone too and there’s nothing you can do to stop it! THUD THUD!” I scream that same fire fueling my rage my tears running down my face like gasoline igniting the thought spiral further burning deeper into my self hatred. I scream again banging my hands on my head. Wish and hoping it will shut up the thoughts.“why? Why?! WHY!” Sobbing until I’m nothing but a puddle. . . Ya know a few months ago I was depressed the thoughts became too much, so I wanted to get high. I thought it would make them stop “Thud! Thud!” So I took a gummy it was unpackage, from a friend of a friend so now the word dog, in reference to a person is a permit part of my vocabulary. And I have memories from being in a comma because it turned out to be DMT and my 6 hour trip end up feeling like 6 months of HELL. The ocd thoughts that i usually see, in a flash became so real that i just cried for hour terrified i was stabbing my eyes out dead and this was my purgatory for leaving the church. ”Thud! THUD!” I stopped using my favorite water bottle after that. Before the incident The bottle up against the wall with the straw to the side of the wall because the thought that would repeat in my head would be that because of my clumsiness I would trip and fall onto the straw and it would stab my eye out and kill me. I had this thought often I kept look up what to do if you accidently get something stab/stuck in your eye. “Thud! Thud!”
- Date posted
- 17w
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
- Date posted
- 16w
Does any one else struggle with eating when on a ocd spiral ( that’s what I call them ) I go through periods where I can’t stand the feeling of food in my body but idk I smoke weed and that helps the thought to go purge everything I don’t know if that’s my ocd or a eating disorder 🫠
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