- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yea I mean I can explain what I try to do everyday, but it won’t be much different from what I’ve said before! Something I think you should understand is what recovery looks like. It’s not a ‘flip-switch’ where you breathe a sigh of relief cause you are finally sure of what you are. It’s (in my experience and opinion) a change of relationship to your thoughts, feelings, ideas. Understanding that HAVING them, doesn’t make them law, doesn’t make them YOUR truth. This takes so much discipline that I know is hard at a young age- I know! You just want someone to tell you it’s all okay. But YOU have to be the big girl and decide to not succumb and have to ‘fix’ every thought you have. You have to be still and quiet the part of you that wants to understand EVERY idea. You have to say “here I choose to be still. I FEEL scared and worried, and really want to clarify what this could possibly mean, but I need to understand that my brain is addicted to that. I need to quit this addiction.” You’re brain is currently convinced that the only times that you are okay, is when you are sure and confident. You need to start convincing your brain that in times of confusion, fuzziness, lack of clarity- you are STILL okay. You don’t have to KNOW everything is okay, for it to still be okay. We can talk on insta more if you want!!❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@idont241 It’s not something that’s going to go away magically on its own forever. We gotta let it be next to us, exist, while we reach for everything we want. We have to let exist, but not influence our decisions and actions. I’m still scared a lot, but just because we’re scared does not mean there’s something to ACTUALLY be scared of- ya know?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Let it exist in its ‘real-ness’, and don’t touch it! When you get the thoughts and feelings and urges say- “be still, don’t fix”. Breathe through the triggers and then move right on!! Release the velcro before it gets stuck all the way!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh my gosh, this is me to a T. I’m on tinder right now because I want to DO something about the fact that I want an boyfriend, but I never follow through with dates cause I get so scared or uninterested so quickly. This one guy said ‘sense’ when he meant ‘since’ and that literally almost ruined it for me??♀️ ugh! It’s like I’m looking to sabotage myself with this perfect guy I have in my head. No one is going to measure up to that! I don’t know how to stop doing this.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Literally!!! Within the last year I wanted to make an active decision where I would face my fears about relationships but I literally get so tired going on dates and being disappointed everytime. I’m on tinder too! But lately I’m just so tired of using it and meeting them and then hating them because of myself.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Leah- did you ever have hocd? If so, if I am so glad you are feeling better!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My first ‘boyfriend’ said he loved me after three weeks and was talking about our wedding and children and I literally got SOO turned off and felt so trapped as well, but I was too afraid to break up with him (until he cheated on me haha).
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ugh i totally understand you @trying2!! And yes @idont241!! I totally still do but I’m doing my best to work on it! Hard as hell
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I deleted Instagram for now since it’s pride month and extremely triggering but I’ll definitely try to remember that. Thank you
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Of course!! Sorry @trying2, I kinda strayed from your original post, but what you described is a huge huge problem for me as well right now. I would love to chat about it on Snapchat or something if you want to as well! No worries if you don’t though:)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Aw I’m glad:) and okay, I’ll add you and then you can delete your post!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I did that too. I am still young so it actually has been only one guy. But I am really scared I am never going to find a guy or love a guy. I don’t want women. So it feels like because I won’t find a guy, I’ll prefer women or something. I am seriously so confused and anxious right now
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am so glad! I am so stuck. I feel like absolute trash. I have no reason to think this but it feels so real. Ughhhh
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yep. I get the thought “why are you scared?” And it makes me feel like I actually want this to happen. Like it makes it feel more real. If you have time, I am not trying to push you or anything, it’s completely fine if you don’t, I would really love if you could tell me ways on how to beat this. You have my Instagram (I am in the NOCD group chat. Isabella here) I would really love That. You are so wise and you know soo much. It’s completely fine if you don’t. I won’t get upset or anything because it’s completely your choice
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Added you!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I am really scared of being a narcissist.. I’ve been in therapy and I feel like my therapist isn’t taking it seriously:( like if I am a narcissist I want to work on it I’m just really scared of harming people.. including my partner:( I don’t want be the reason he needs therapy and I don’t want to ruin his life. I’m scared I’m manipulating him somehow to want to be with me and I just don’t know what to do. I NEED to get this fixed before our relationship progresses but I just feel like I’m not being heard by therapists/psychiatrists We want to get married and have children but I don’t even know if I will be a good partner or mom. If I do have narcissism I just think it would be best if I left him alone :( I don’t know what to do I know that people will say that narcissists don’t care about hurting other people or things like that but I just don’t know how true that is. I also have really mean judgmental, cruel, and hateful thoughts about people and I feel like that means I’m a narcissist
- Date posted
- 15w ago
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
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