- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yea I mean I can explain what I try to do everyday, but it won’t be much different from what I’ve said before! Something I think you should understand is what recovery looks like. It’s not a ‘flip-switch’ where you breathe a sigh of relief cause you are finally sure of what you are. It’s (in my experience and opinion) a change of relationship to your thoughts, feelings, ideas. Understanding that HAVING them, doesn’t make them law, doesn’t make them YOUR truth. This takes so much discipline that I know is hard at a young age- I know! You just want someone to tell you it’s all okay. But YOU have to be the big girl and decide to not succumb and have to ‘fix’ every thought you have. You have to be still and quiet the part of you that wants to understand EVERY idea. You have to say “here I choose to be still. I FEEL scared and worried, and really want to clarify what this could possibly mean, but I need to understand that my brain is addicted to that. I need to quit this addiction.” You’re brain is currently convinced that the only times that you are okay, is when you are sure and confident. You need to start convincing your brain that in times of confusion, fuzziness, lack of clarity- you are STILL okay. You don’t have to KNOW everything is okay, for it to still be okay. We can talk on insta more if you want!!❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
@idont241 It’s not something that’s going to go away magically on its own forever. We gotta let it be next to us, exist, while we reach for everything we want. We have to let exist, but not influence our decisions and actions. I’m still scared a lot, but just because we’re scared does not mean there’s something to ACTUALLY be scared of- ya know?
- Date posted
- 6y
Let it exist in its ‘real-ness’, and don’t touch it! When you get the thoughts and feelings and urges say- “be still, don’t fix”. Breathe through the triggers and then move right on!! Release the velcro before it gets stuck all the way!
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh my gosh, this is me to a T. I’m on tinder right now because I want to DO something about the fact that I want an boyfriend, but I never follow through with dates cause I get so scared or uninterested so quickly. This one guy said ‘sense’ when he meant ‘since’ and that literally almost ruined it for me??♀️ ugh! It’s like I’m looking to sabotage myself with this perfect guy I have in my head. No one is going to measure up to that! I don’t know how to stop doing this.
- Date posted
- 6y
Literally!!! Within the last year I wanted to make an active decision where I would face my fears about relationships but I literally get so tired going on dates and being disappointed everytime. I’m on tinder too! But lately I’m just so tired of using it and meeting them and then hating them because of myself.
- Date posted
- 6y
My first ‘boyfriend’ said he loved me after three weeks and was talking about our wedding and children and I literally got SOO turned off and felt so trapped as well, but I was too afraid to break up with him (until he cheated on me haha).
- Date posted
- 6y
Ugh i totally understand you @trying2!! And yes @idont241!! I totally still do but I’m doing my best to work on it! Hard as hell
- Date posted
- 6y
Of course!! Sorry @trying2, I kinda strayed from your original post, but what you described is a huge huge problem for me as well right now. I would love to chat about it on Snapchat or something if you want to as well! No worries if you don’t though:)
- Date posted
- 6y
Aw I’m glad:) and okay, I’ll add you and then you can delete your post!
- Date posted
- 6y
Added you!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
i’m so scared to get into a relationship because i think i’m a avoidant attachment… like i have a fear of losing myself and being too attached to where i won’t love myself but love them more than i love myself… like i’m thinking about the guy i like and thinking about the opportunity to be with him but something tells me i’m gonna back away because of my ocd… i wanna love myself before i get into a relationship… especially this generation of relationships get me really anxious.. it’s like i wanna be in a relationship but i also don’t because of losing myself… i wanna have confidence in myself and like the person and have a relationship with God at the same time… i think i’m doing a compulsion which isn’t good because my ocd themes keep switching
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.
- Date posted
- 16w
My trauma has always prevented me from pursuing a romantic relationship, I’ve always been super terrified of pursuing something with someone for just about every reason I could conjure up. Now, I’ve met someone and I’ve tried so, so hard to push away all those anxieties to make it work; but I feel like the more involved I get, I become more scared and I dwell on more things that may be signs that our “relationship” should end. I keep thinking over and over that I’m not good enough for them, I might be their “target,” they’re not right for me, our feelings are not mutual, it couldn’t work out between us, my friends and family would not approve, I’m not ready for it, etc. Recently, I tried to break things off with them because they were too tall for me. I started sobbing because I was scared that I was being and awful person and I had completely screwed everything up between us. I wanna know if this sounds like ROCD ? I always had a hunch that I could have, but I had never gotten far enough into a relationship to find out. Please feel free to ask me any clarifying questions. Right now I’m probably not making much sense haha.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond