I love how in here everybody mentions their type of OCD( POCD,ROCD,HOCD etc),their feelings,dreams,phobias,thoughts etc in a pure native English and I guess most of you are from the US/Canada and I am from a shit whole and still live here, unfortunately,where most of the people have no idea about what OCD actually means. I remember something that can explain the idea of mental health worldwide, especially in undeveloped countries. On a Psychology course on a Nursing school college once our Professor asked what do we think about when we hear the world 'mental' and a guy yelled 'crazy person!' I really hope I will live in the future in a normal developed country because I really feel I don't belong here. And I got completely isolated,I only have my Mom and my pets. And I really need to get well and study so I can start working on my dreams. But it is so hard,I feel stuck and I feel no one could understand me.

so i need to vent here because i'm sick to the point of wanting to throw up. ill be talking about how my ocd started. I think my ocd is a little different as I've never seen anyone with that kind of intrusive thinking, so my ocd makes me think it's real. my intrusive thoughts are like "I wish something bad could happen to this person" and it's something really, really bad that I abhor. I just don't want it to happen to the person, it's totally automatic and makes me want to cry all the time. and it all started with a book I was reading and I didn't know it had things like pedophilia and rape. and as I'm underage these things can easily get stuck in my head, there was an explicit scene and it felt like my body was reacting to it, even I DON'T WANT TO and that made me feel really bad. I never had thoughts like that before reading that fucking book I regret so much. and then for me it's very hard to recover, because my ocd says something like i want it to happen, but definitely not. I can't access the erp because I'm not fluent in english and much less have money already converted to real is absurd. I'm afraid to go to therapy because there aren't many therapists who specialize in ocd here and I'm afraid it could get worse. I already talked about ocd with my mother but she didn't understand much, in fact I was fine and she said something that made my situation worse. so that's it, sorry for the big text, but I needed it.

I kinda am really alone with this one. I got diagnosed 3 years ago and never went back to therapy. I don't really want help... I'm just here to kinda learn about other people. I've never met someone who has ocd like I do. You may think "they all say that" but I just never have. I got diagnosed when I told my therapist my obsession with gore/nercophilia. I can't believe I'm even talking about it right now. It makes me feel sick. I can't stand it. My mom has undiagnosed bpd. I may be wrong about this, I'm not a professional, but she has all the symptoms. Every single small thing about it too she has, and so do I. Having ocd along with it is even harder. I researched on having both and it's not common but also not impossible? If not, then if I don't have both, I would fit under the ocd title more than ocd. My point is, I feel alone. I just want someone to read this... I hate to admit it, but I want some sympathy. My partner has been really bad to me lately and I can't leave them cause I love them too much. So I don't beg him for comfort cause I know they might leave if I do. I feel like a burden. Please don't comment on that. Actually, are their even comments on this thing? Embarrassing if not..

Hey guys! I'm Brazilian, so forgive me for the google translator! I've had some pretty bad days. But I got better over time. I still have obsessive thoughts, but I don't have that anxiety anymore. I researched and identified myself a lot with the OCD of thoughts. I think I've had this disease since I was 7 years old, I just never went back to check. But since my condition got worse, I decided that I needed to know what I had. I started therapy, it's not cognitive behavioral therapy, but I trust it a lot, so I'm keeping it! But today I felt really bad. I went to the doctor for the first time. And even though I talked about OCD, he talked to me and told me that he treated it like normal anxiety. He also spoke in a way that it would be okay for me to be attracted to women, and that I needed to take medicine to see what my internal problem really was. But I don't think I have an internal problem. I actually moved out of my parents' house recently and that's why I started having obsessive thoughts again. I happen to have on several topics, but some are stronger than others. I've never liked a girl and I don't want to either. But when my doctor asked me if I was attracted to girls I said "I don't think so" I can't be sure. I know I don't want and I don't feel like dating them. Finally, a rant. Here in my country, it is a disease that is difficult to treat. I'm starting the medication today, taking Sertraline. If you have words of comfort, I appreciate it! Hug everyone and stay well!