CM95
- Date posted
- 2y
ROCD
My thoughts are spiralling someone please help. Feel like I’m going to end my relationship when I don’t want to lose the love of my life. Please help.
cnfy-4723cnfy-4723
- Date posted
- 2y
The thoughts don’t have any meaning, unless we give them meaning. I’ve been in your shoes. Try to engage differently with the thoughts, say: “I don’t need to figure this out today”. I know how terrifying it feels, but if you care is because it is important to you and it’s probably just your OCD trying to take over. It gets better if you try your best not to respond to the thought. Hang in there, you’re not alone!
Brendan =]Brendan =]
- Date posted
- 2y
My best advice would be to get into counseling with an ERP therapist who specializes in OCD if you haven’t already. This issue is very unlikely to improve on its own without treatment, but it is treatable. Regular talk therapy can actually make OCD worse, so be sure to find someone who does Exposure and Response Prevention. If this is tough to find, you can use NOCD, as all their therapists use ERP. I use NOCD and am happy with my treatment. If therapy isn’t available due to money/ insurance, an ERP self-help book should work. I’ve just never used one. As for the present moment, just try to notice and acknowledge the thoughts and feelings and try not to do any of your compulsions. Just let them be present and sit with them. You don’t have to like them or think they’re comfortable, but sit with them and just let them be present in your mind without entertaining or answering them. Over 15 to 30 minutes, you should see your anxiety decrease. If you’re doing this for the first time or for the first time in a while, your anxiety may actually increase, which is fine because your mind is used to the compulsions being performed for that short-term comfort. Just sit with the thoughts, not engaging and not answering or dwelling on the questions; doing that will only reinforce and feed the ROCD. Just respond “maybe that’s true, maybe it isn’t.” Keep in mind, as well, that rumination and breaking up are also both compulsions. Other compulsions that are common can be reassurance seeking (including from yourself) checking and questioning your feelings, examining your partner for flaws, mental reviewing of feelings or things like it in the past, rating your partner or your interactions, comparing them to other people, etc. This is a good read: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd Most importantly, try and give yourself some extra self love and patience. It’s extremely crucial that you be a friend to yourself and be as gentle and compassionate as you can to you. You wouldn’t be cruel or hard on someone who is really struggling, and you deserve that same kindness. Nobody beats this overnight. But you are seeking help and trying to do what’s best and that is respectable and admirable. You are giving yourself the best shot you have and trying to get better. A lot of us on here have the same worries and fears, myself included, and if we all help each other out, it may become a little easier. =]
CM95CM95
- Date posted
- 2y
Thank you for your kind words ❤️
CM95CM95
- Date posted
- 2y
Really appreciate you taking the time to offer advice and comfort. The beauty of the NOCD app!
Related posts
rjahastings
- Date posted
- 23w
ROCD - anxiety
I’m having what I think is my first ROCD full episode. I’ve had doubting thoughts the entirety of my relationship. But in the last couple of days have been overwhelmed with and debilitated by anxiety and the feeling that I need to break up with my boyfriend. I don’t know if I have OCD officially but talking to therapists it seems that it is likely and I’m going to an OCD specialist next week to talk through my feelings but I feel completely helpless and hopeless at the moment and riddled with anxiety. I’m in a long distance relationship. I seem to have a waves throughout the day when I want to communicate with my boyfriend and tell him I love him etc. but the other 80% of my day is filled with anxiety and dread that I’m going to have to break up with him. I just want the anxiety to go away and to know if my thoughts are real thoughts or OCD thoughts. My biggest fear is that this isn’t an OCD episode and I do need to break up with him. I’m seeing him this weekend and I’m filled with dread about feeling disconnected and anxious and not in love.
Justmesadly
- Date posted
- 13w
Spiraling
Please help I am having the worst spiral I have had in 5 years. I am doing so bad to the point I could not even sleep. I’m so scared, anxious and confused. I did ocd therapy for a long time and my therapist told me I was doing so well I needed to stop. Which I was until about 2-3 weeks ago it started back super bad. And now as of yesterday the intrusive thoughts feel more definitive. They are making me spiral, it literally feels like my brain is jumping from side to side. I love my boyfriend more than I knew was humanly possible. I haven’t lost my attraction to him, not that I know of… I don’t want to break up with him bc i love him, I think he’s hot, I want to marry him but I’m terrified that I am just lying and that the feelings never were true! I don’t know how to make it stop. I tried all night not to research and I had to give in. 😭 this is hell
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 12w
please read- rocd… or is it? im in agony
Hi. I wanted to stop posting here, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I’m feeling so lost. I’m in a relationship that, from the outside, looks wonderful. We’ve been together for 2 years. He loves me deeply. He’s kind and caring. And still… I can’t feel anything. I can’t imagine a future with him — living together, starting a family, growing old. When I try, it feels like something in me shuts down, like it’s wrong. I don’t feel happiness in the relationship. I don’t feel love, warmth, or comfort. I feel anxiety, numbness, guilt, and fear. We fight over the smallest things. My thoughts scream that I don’t love him, that I’m forcing this, that I’m just used to him. The scariest part is: sometimes I feel okay, even calm. And that’s when it hits me — “What if this calm means I’ve accepted the truth? What if I don’t love him?” It feels like I’m in shock. Like I’m finally seeing clearly… but I’m terrified that it’s a clarity I never wanted. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I just know that I’m exhausted. And I want peace. If anyone else has felt this — the numbness, the fear, the doubt that feels like the truth — please tell me how you’ve gotten through it. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this. i know that people reading this will tell me to leave. but i dont have any reasons. All the problems started because of my never ending thoughts. i feel like i ruin everything. i feel like i have changed. im so lost and scared. i dont understand what is happening. It feels so real. im in agony, im crying so much. I wasnt always like this. i am trying to remember times i felt better and i cant. i cant feel anything. its so hard. i can’t explain how i feel and in scared what are you going to respond if someone will. i usually see “if you feel so bad then leave” but its not like that. he loves me so much and if the thoughts werent there it would gave been so different. everything was perfect. but i keep thinking that when the thoughts started, one and a half years ago, i realised that “i just dont like him” and gbat i couldn’t accept the truth and i am denying it. i feel fake. do i even have rocd? or is this cope?? why do i feel like this. why does it feel so real? please somebody help me
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond