How do I know if I have real event OCD? I can’t seem to move on from something, and my brain keeps saying “if you hadn’t done this, you would be enjoying life so much more right now” but I am not obligated to mentally review what happened in the past. Is this real event OCD or is it just pure regret?
Regret for people without OCD is a fleeting feeling that comes and goes. You may be reminded about that thing you said or did somehow and the "regret" will make them feel bad for a short period of time. Real Event OCD is much more intense and longer lasting. The issue that we both have is our minds ruminating on the event, trying to find a solution, figure something out or reminding us for accountability. This is maladaptive thinking that amounts to nothing productive and is way above and beyond remorse or regret. Both you and I do not deserve to be tortured over past misdeeds, especially because we both know that deep down OCD is targeting this topic because we care deeply about it. It will get better and your strategies that you are learning will help you for next time.
Brilliantly said
Same here. That is real event OCD, I do the same thing. I always think “if I never did x, y, and z, I would be happy and wouldn’t be anxious all the time” but I don’t mentally review nearly as much as I just wish I could go back in time and prevent myself from doing a certain thing. If you have obsessions and compulsions from a real event that happened in your life, it is real event OCD
@ashleyrenee how should we deal with this? Whenever I’m enjoying myself a lot my brain reminds me of that regret, and I’m unable to enjoy myself anymore
@DillonLee Honestly I’m still trying to figure that out for myself, but I will say that the best thing you can do is try not to avoid your anxiety. Avoidance is a compulsion that will lead to worsened anxiety, and letting your thoughts and anxiety come and go on its own will teach your brain that these thoughts are not a threat and that things aren’t as dire as your brain makes them out to be. It has been very helpful for me. I am still working on healing, things get very hard and in the moment things may seem hopeless but these feelings will pass 🙂 I started on anxiety meds and doing ERP and the guilt/regret feeling has been so much less. Still there, but sooo much less. I hope this helps
@DillonLee It is not an instant fix. It's going to take months of effort with ERP. But it can be treated. Just take it day by day
@ashleyrenee I don’t feel anxiety thinking about the regret, I just feel regret but I can’t stop thinking about it
I struggle with this severely! I have an absurd amount of shame and guilt from something from the past.
Just a heads up… even if the event were to get “resolved” in your mind, the ocd will probably latch onto another event that will then become the “thing that you’re life would be perfect if it had never happened.” I’ve had multiple obsessions over past events that went on for years that seemed like I’d never get over until my mind just became fixed on a different event that I had never thought about.
Exactly. I can recall several more events ripe for obsessions.
@seagull2 Yup👌 crazy how you can know what it’s going to be, but your brain won’t tell you that it will be a “problem” until your current obsession dies off
The question of if it's OCD is in of itself an OCD symptom. This theme, like the others, is treated with ERP and accepting you'll never know the answers to these questions. It feels intensely distressing to do so, but it also does for every other theme, just in different flavors. This is OCD's pull to get you back in the cycle. When I think of my past, there are other events I could have the same obsession pattern over. Truth is you'll never know "true" answers to questions like if it's true regret or what kind of person it makes you. You have to tolerate the distress of not knowing. See a professional and do ERP!
@seagull2 how should I do ERP for regret?
@ThatsPrettyNeat Thank you for describing it so accurately. I have theses obessions over past events for almost whole my life. Mind just clings to one event to another. The new event seem so important and the previous event no longer matters. I have realised it so many times. Still each time I fall for the OCD trap.
Question, does anyone else experience real life event ocd? Like they have a lot of guilt about events that happened in the past and can’t seem to move on from it. It is related to my suicide ocd and I wish I could just move on from the past but I have so much guilt for it even though everyone is telling me to move on! I read that this could be considered real life event ocd but am just wondering if anyone else feels the same.
Can real event ocd, or ocd in general make you feel bad for something you did that was actually wrong? I keep thinking about things I’ve done in the past that are defiantly wrong and shitty things. But I’ve never really thought of them before. I knew they were terrible things, and I’ve not gone back since. Maybe 10+ years ago (when I was 19-21). I thought real event ocd was your brain taking things that are trivial and twisting them to make you seem bad. In these cases I’ve grown as a person l, I’m really not proud of myself and hope to never go back to that place. Is this ocd, or am I suddenly just feeling remorse for being a terrible person? I just feel the need to confess to my wife again, even though she knows most of it.
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