What ERP should I do for real event OCD. I keep obsessing over a regret and I can still enjoy myself until I think about that regret, and it prevents me from enjoying myself anymore. Help pls
This is a portion from a really great reddit comment I read a while back: Telling your OCD "maybe I did. maybe I didn't. who cares?" is very helpful when dealing with any theme of OCD, but especially real event. It craves certainty so badly and when you refuse to give it to it, it causes so much discomfort. Learn to sit with it and within a bit, this theme will pass too. You got this!
@PoleekPelican but the regret I’m obsessing about is actually something I did, so what should I say instead?
@DillonLee This was hard for me too, but you actually have to create the uncertainty even if you are completely certain that it happened. Because remember, at this point you have already raked yourself over the coals enough, and now OCD is the problem. So for me, it helped to say "I don't know why that happened". When I settled on that phrase, it helped place me in the third person, looking at my behavior as just a human experience. Basically just try phrasing the doubt in your mind in any way that applies to you.
@PoleekPelican so I should doubt that what actually happened even happened at all? Or how does saying ‘I don’t know why that happened’ help?
@DillonLee I know! This is weird to wrap the head around, but it depends and I don't know your situation exactly. Let's say that you did something the effected another person. I'm assuming that they have moved on in some way and you are still ruminating. For that, you may encourage doubt by saying "Maybe they hate me for that, maybe they don't, I'm not them, so I don't know". Or if you did something that just involves you personally and it went against your morals or values, that's when I would say "Maybe that happened or maybe it didn't. Who cares?" This one is effective because since the event is in the past, it actually isn't real any more and now it is just a memory. You can manipulate this memory by casting doubt on it, and your OCD won't really know what to do with that.
@PoleekPelican For me I’m regretting over a bad decision I made but it doesn’t involve others, only me. It isn’t related to my morals but it was just a bad decision I can’t seem to move on from
@DillonLee Oh gotcha. To clarify, this is a trick that may help if you start ruminating and obviously isn't a cure, but you could try, "Maybe it was the wrong choice, maybe it wasn't. I'll have to wait and see how everything plays out". Even if you or OCD is telling you definitively that it was a "bad" decision, you can still cast doubt because you are still learning and moving through life. This "mistake" is just part of the experience and making OCD doubt what it means might help.
@PoleekPelican Alright thanks, ima try that
@PoleekPelican how do I know if I have real event OCD though? Like I can’t move on from my regrets but I haven’t been diagnosed with any OCD cus I didn’t go for therapy, but is there any way to know?
For me, I was diagnosed after I initially was relating to so many of the stories and experiences of everyone here. So yeah, you should definitely seek therapy and the diagnosis, but the ERP strategies help regardless. It definitely sounds like something is stuck in your mind though.
@PoleekPelican or should I say “even if I made that bad decision, I’m still enjoying life as much”? It’s not true but do you think it’ll help?
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️
What ERP or other techniques do you use to combat fear of cancelation? Especially curious about those with taboo thoughts, false memory ocd and event ocd based off of real events where the fear of cancellation may actually hold some validity. I once did my own ERP not under a therapist but just on my own I decided to create an anonymous account on Twitter and defend a friend who was receiving online criticism. I knew that this would be semi-controversial so I was expecting backlash and when I recieved troll replies it actually seemed to be a really helpful low-stakes exposure activity. Is this something that others have done? Low stakes online posts etc. that you know will recieve negative responses? I have had severe OCD as a kid as pretty much every subtype under the sun, and as an adult I pretty much have all the types under control except for this real event and false memory and taboo thought OCD. It seems like a different beast since it's somewhat realistic in the camcellation culture today, and it's confusing to address. Ive shut down almost all social accounts and it's keeping me from progressing in a career where I need to have an online presence :/
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