What ERP should I do for real event OCD. I keep obsessing over a regret and I can still enjoy myself until I think about that regret, and it prevents me from enjoying myself anymore. Help pls
This is a portion from a really great reddit comment I read a while back: Telling your OCD "maybe I did. maybe I didn't. who cares?" is very helpful when dealing with any theme of OCD, but especially real event. It craves certainty so badly and when you refuse to give it to it, it causes so much discomfort. Learn to sit with it and within a bit, this theme will pass too. You got this!
@PoleekPelican but the regret I’m obsessing about is actually something I did, so what should I say instead?
@DillonLee This was hard for me too, but you actually have to create the uncertainty even if you are completely certain that it happened. Because remember, at this point you have already raked yourself over the coals enough, and now OCD is the problem. So for me, it helped to say "I don't know why that happened". When I settled on that phrase, it helped place me in the third person, looking at my behavior as just a human experience. Basically just try phrasing the doubt in your mind in any way that applies to you.
@PoleekPelican so I should doubt that what actually happened even happened at all? Or how does saying ‘I don’t know why that happened’ help?
@DillonLee I know! This is weird to wrap the head around, but it depends and I don't know your situation exactly. Let's say that you did something the effected another person. I'm assuming that they have moved on in some way and you are still ruminating. For that, you may encourage doubt by saying "Maybe they hate me for that, maybe they don't, I'm not them, so I don't know". Or if you did something that just involves you personally and it went against your morals or values, that's when I would say "Maybe that happened or maybe it didn't. Who cares?" This one is effective because since the event is in the past, it actually isn't real any more and now it is just a memory. You can manipulate this memory by casting doubt on it, and your OCD won't really know what to do with that.
@PoleekPelican For me I’m regretting over a bad decision I made but it doesn’t involve others, only me. It isn’t related to my morals but it was just a bad decision I can’t seem to move on from
@DillonLee Oh gotcha. To clarify, this is a trick that may help if you start ruminating and obviously isn't a cure, but you could try, "Maybe it was the wrong choice, maybe it wasn't. I'll have to wait and see how everything plays out". Even if you or OCD is telling you definitively that it was a "bad" decision, you can still cast doubt because you are still learning and moving through life. This "mistake" is just part of the experience and making OCD doubt what it means might help.
@PoleekPelican Alright thanks, ima try that
@PoleekPelican how do I know if I have real event OCD though? Like I can’t move on from my regrets but I haven’t been diagnosed with any OCD cus I didn’t go for therapy, but is there any way to know?
For me, I was diagnosed after I initially was relating to so many of the stories and experiences of everyone here. So yeah, you should definitely seek therapy and the diagnosis, but the ERP strategies help regardless. It definitely sounds like something is stuck in your mind though.
@PoleekPelican or should I say “even if I made that bad decision, I’m still enjoying life as much”? It’s not true but do you think it’ll help?
My ocd latches on to past mistakes. i fear that God is formulating a situation to “give me what i deserve.” I will string together completely unrelated events into the predictors/indicators that my ‘judgement day’ is near and all my wrongdoings will be exposed for everyone to see and my life will be ruined by finally getting the punishment i deserve. I fear that God is going to use someone who is out to get me, wants revenge, hates me, etc, to carry this out. The associated compulsion is that i keep track of my mistakes and practice arguments for defending myself so that when the time comes im ready for anything. I also punish myself with guilt so that i can “get ahead” on any bad feelings that i would experience on my judgement day. It’s all so exhausting. Does anyone relate? Does anyone have a similar existence? Would love to hear about others’ experiences. Thank you for reading.
What would I do for ERP if my OCD says because I didn’t do something correctly or remember something I will have panic attacks that don’t end?
just wanted to see if others struggle with real event ocd really kicking their a**. i feel like my mind is a constant battleground of every mistake ive made and they feel so huge and life altering to me that it’s hard to continue going on in their wake. just wondering if anyone else feels this way too.
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