Suicide OCD

Hey everyone. I have been struggling with this theme this week. I had a panic attack at the beginning of the week and I got hit with a bunch of suicide intrusive thoughts. That is the last thing on earth I want to do and it hurts me because my mind makes me believe I want to. I get in a really sad dark alone place and sometimes I think about it but also I feel like it is intrusive because I have told myself no matter how bad it gets, no matter how shitty it feels I will not do anything to take my own life. It brings me so much sadness and guilt when I think about those kinds of things. It’s been hard because I have been trying to mindfully redirect and stay in the present moment but the thoughts come back and it makes it so hard to move on or when I’m in a happy moment that feels good my intrusive thoughts just come flooding back. I have tried to accept that those thoughts are there and I need to do things towards my goals and values but it’s been so difficult to accept this feeling and notice those thoughts when they are so against everything I love and it’s so hard when it’s one of my biggest fears. I cry and cry because I’m just so scared of those thoughts and it makes me think I actually want to do it. Anyway has anyone else experienced this? I feel so guilty and sometimes get thoughts that this feeling will never go away even thought I know for a fact I can get past it. Any advice? Or does anyone relate?

Username: melswingsmelswings

Date posted: 1y ago

I have personally struggled in the same exact ways and have realized it’s when my anxiety is triggered. When I start to feel my anxiety coming on I take my medicine and wait for it to pass. In the meantime I remind myself that those thoughts are like leaves floating down a river. They are there but they will pass. I learned that from my sister. :) Also remember that the thoughts can’t hurt you. Say to yourself out loud “You do not belong here and I am in control of what I chose to do with my life. I chose to keep pushing forward and get through this one day at a time… even one moment at a time.”

Username: alexisd alexisd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@melswings That’s super helpful. I have noticed saying some things out loud has been helpful. Thank you we got this (:

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I relate to this heavily, especially today :/. What helps me sometimes is realizing that those thoughts, really are just thoughts, and they can no way harm you. Sometimes, as silly as this sounds, I also think of those thoughts as a personified little villain in my head that I can easily put in villian jail. Also just knowing that I’m not the only one who feels this way does help too. We will get through this :)

Username: alexisd alexisd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous Thank you that is very helpful. We got this (:

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

everything you said here hit home for me - i am going through the exact same thing and it so scary and confusing and saddening but WE GOT THIS!!! if you ever need to talk i am here!!! i’d love to start a group about this specific theme because i think talking to people is so helpful

Username: alexisd alexisd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous I would love to start a group chat! I feel like it is a theme that isn’t talked about as often.

Username: OCPDprincess!OCPDprincess!

Date posted: 1y ago

@alexisrae We have a group on discord :) https://discord.gg/FVyRMwmD

Username: SarcomaPod SarcomaPod

Date posted: 1y ago

I share a similar experience. I am currently on holiday and having a great time then bam, a back-door spike. I’m riding this wave and doing my ERP, sitting with the uncertainty and acknowledging the importance of community and our shared experiences. The perfectionist in me wants to go at it alone but we don’t have to because we have each other, and the special people in our lives.

Username: alexisd alexisd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@SarcomaPod Thank you we are not alone (:

Username: amerbos

Date posted: 5y ago

Hi. Does anyone out there have Suicide OCD? If so, I’d love to chat. It’s a new theme for me and extremely scary. Just would like to talk to someone who is experienced with it. Thanks!

Harm OCD

Username: Sophie7007

Date posted: 5y ago

I, like many others, don’t experience one type of intrusive thought, but am currently having suicidal OCD type thoughts. But these are the ones where I find it the hardest to work out if they’re actually my thoughts or just intrusive thoughts. They come if I’m reading an article about someone who’s committed suicide or if there’s a Tweet about it for e.g. and it’s like ‘that will be you one day’ or ‘I know I’m probably going to end up doing that.’ Sometimes I get worried about it and try to tell myself I won’t but then at other times, I just sort of accept it like, well if it’s going to happen it will. Can anyone relate? Thanks

Username: Aislinndest

Date posted: 1y ago

Does this sound like ocd?

I can’t figure out if I’m really suicidal or just obsessing over the thought of it. Im to scared to even do it. I don't know if this is my OCD or what but for the past week or so it's been really bothering me these thoughts that I am on edge, scared. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have imagined every single way of doing it, and everything and it makes me SICK. It feels like an urge at this point. I start to feel like maybe I could actually do it, then I feel myself about to go into a panic attack. I already feel derealization where this world doesn't feel real and nobody seems real to me, and my family feels like strangers and I'm just really scared. I feel very scared. I don't physically feel like I'm "here." I feel like my mind is lost. I feel like I just want to be at peace and then I think I’m seriously suicidal and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Im sick to my stomach and terrified.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Suicide OCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community