gray1
- Date posted
- 2y
Need someone to connect with on ROCD
If anyone is willing to connect with me on ROCD, I’d greatly appreciate it! Having a tough time.
hellopeoplehellopeople
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 2y
Hi there! How are you? ROCD is very painful so I’m sorry you’re going through that! What’s going on?
gray1gray1
- Date posted
- 2y
@hellopeople Hi, thanks for your response. I really appreciate it. I’ve been having a lot of ROCD lately and my mind will tell me to look at a person. It usually tells me to do it 2-4 times (a number that’s always even). Anyways, today I did that and my brain kept telling me that I was staring because I thought the person was attractive or something. But I really was staring because my mind was telling me to, ugh! Then as I was staring, the person realized I was and made eye contact with me. It made me feel like such a bad person and that I wasn’t loyal to my partner for looking. I don’t know if this sounds crazy but I think it’s OCD.
hellopeoplehellopeople
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 2y
@gray1 Oh that’s not a fun situation, I’m sorry. Checking to see if attracted to others can be an ocd compulsion. Often when there is an intrusive thought like our brain telling us to look at someone, there may be a fear behind it, try to challenge that fear, maybe the fear is of cheating on your partner, what will happen in that happens? Who says you’ll do that? Maybe you will, but maybe not! What do YOU want to do?
gray1gray1
- Date posted
- 2y
@hellopeople I think you’re right. Is cheating OCD a thing? This type of OCD that I have where it tells me to look at people tends to happen at least once every day & it’s almost always a new person. I definitely DONT want to cheat on my partner, I would never do that. It’s a huge fear for me.
hellopeoplehellopeople
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 2y
@gray1 The fear of cheating can be part of ROCD! I think it’s wonderful you know what you want! All we have to do is act in line with what we want, if you don’t want to cheat, you don’t have to check by looking at people! And looking at people can be just that! Just looking, and it doesn’t mean anything at all 😊
il4riail4ria
- Date posted
- 2y
Hi Gray, I’m having an hard time with ROCD too. What’s going? How are you?
gray1gray1
- Date posted
- 2y
@il4ria Hi Ils, thank you for your response. I posted what’s going on in response to hellopeople on the thread. I’m okay for now, trying to tell myself it’s just OCD. How are you? What has been happening for you with ROCD?
il4riail4ria
- Date posted
- 2y
@gray1 Just read what you wrote, I’m really sorry :( always remember you’re not a bad person for giving in to compulsions. As for me, in the last couple of days I’ve been obsessing over the thought of not really loving my boyfriend and the one of my relationship ending, it gets though
gray1gray1
- Date posted
- 2y
@il4ria I’m so sorry to hear that. Have you expressed that you have OCD to your partner? I never know what to share and what not to because sometimes I think telling can be a compulsion. Idk tho im still learning.
il4riail4ria
- Date posted
- 2y
@gray1 yeah, I completely get that! Honestly idk, I shared my thoughts and fears with my boyfriend months ago, before I got diagnosed (even if I was already pretty sure I was suffering from ocd), I’m pretty sure I was compulsing back then. Now though I’d like to talk to him about it so that he can understand my “bad days” better, still afraid of compulsing though. I’ll think about it
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Mariabae
- Date posted
- 21w
i would apreciate a response:( rocd
Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling for a long time with what I believe is ROCD. I constantly have doubts about my feelings toward my boyfriend. I feel numb, disconnected, unsure if I ever truly loved him, and sometimes I fear that I’m just pretending or lying to myself. I don’t feel happy when I think of him, I don’t miss him, and when I imagine doing things together, I feel nothing. And that terrifies me. But what hurts me even more right now is that my psychologist told me she doesn’t think I have OCD. She said I just believe it’s wrong not to like my boyfriend, and that’s why I’m stuck — because I can’t accept that I don’t like him. This only made my fears worse. Now I keep thinking: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m writing all this because I want it to be ROCD so I can feel better about not loving him?” But deep down, I’m suffering. I feel trapped in a fog of anxiety and detachment. I’ve had obsessive thoughts since I was little — especially intrusive ones, like inappropriate words or thoughts that made me feel really guilty. I would even tell my mom about them. So now I’m wondering… was this OCD all along? Why does it feel like my pain is invisible? And the worst part is… he loves me so much. He shows it in so many ways. He truly cares. But I don’t feel connected to him. I look at him and I feel nothing. Sometimes I feel like I’m acting — like I’m just going through the motions. And that makes me feel like the worst person in the world. I feel like no one else has ROCD like mine. That maybe I’m the exception. That maybe I’m not really struggling with OCD — maybe I’m just lying to myself. But I don’t want to lie. I want peace. I want to feel love again. I want to feel like myself again. If anyone has gone through this, or has felt the same after being dismissed by a therapist, please let me know. I feel so scared and alone. Thank you for reading.
EmmaGrace27
- Date posted
- 21w
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- Date posted
- 20w
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