- Username
- LDWestwood
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That happens to me, I see a girl and my mind instantly thinks are you attracted to her?? and I’m not attracted to her. Another thing is I’m still kind of attracted to boys but it’s not the same. Also I only think girls are pretty I’ve never thought anything else, like with boys I think they’re really cute and I want to date them but it’s not like that with girls
Yeah, I’m stuck in the HOCD theme right now too and it’s got my head all tangled! It’s almost like the sexuality I was born with went “see ya” and ran out the door ? I still notice cute guys in the room immediately. But then because I’m so convinced that I don’t like men, my mind goes from thinking they’re attractive to finding them almost disgusting. Because if I think they’re cute, I’ll get a sexual thought about them to check if I still like men, but my brain wants me to so badly think I’m not attracted to guys, that I find the sexual thought gross. It’s hard to explain. I know in my heart I’m not attracted to girls. I never have been. Not like my attraction to men. It’s all really confusing and I feel numb from it. As always, the best thing to do is just accept the thoughts. I’m in that battle too right now, so I can’t say what definitely works or not.
You said you’re new to this app, I think you’ll find there’s a lot of HOCD in this community and with that, a lot of advice.
I’m going through this exact same thing. And my doubts only get worse when I’m getting better. If the thoughts are lessening, the doubts are increasing it’s like goddamn just give me a break. Are you ever just tired of being so tired of this. I know I like men but my mind has now made it weird for me to say that because Now I’m convinced I like “women.” So it feels like it’s wrong for me to say I like men cause I’m having ocd twist my memories and making me seem fake.
Does anybody have Sexuality OCD? Because I am pretty sure that I am straight but then suddenly about a week ago I stopped going guys attractive and it really scared me. I was convinced I was gay! I tried to like a girl but my brain was telling me that it was wrong. That was when I thought ‘OMG I DONT HAVE A SEXUALITY’ and I got really scared. Then yesterday I thought a girl was really cute but then saw a guy and thought he was gorgeous! And then I was like no I have to be straight!!!!! What do I do? Does anybody have this problem?
Has anyone else with SOOCD found themselves mentally reviewing literally every interaction they’ve ever had with the sex that their OCD is telling them they are attracted to rather than the want they want and know themselves to be attracted to?? I am a straight female and ever since my OCD flared up about two months ago I have spent every minute of every day ruminating over past experiences and my mind has convinced me that I was attracted to virtually every female figure in my life, even though I have never actually acted on any of these presumptions. Likewise, my brain is pushing away all of the actual memories I have of being in love with past boyfriends and having crushes on guys. Now, when I see a girl anywhere I freak out and automatically assume I’m attracted to them, even though the thought of being gay makes me sick to my stomach and is never something that I want to act on. And also, when I see any guy that I find attractive, I will acknowledge that I find them attractive but it’s like my mind is telling me I’m faking it because I must actually like women. These thoughts are so incredibly painful because I feel like my attraction to men is fading away even though I only ever want to be with men in the future. I feel like I’m numb to everything and it’s making the anxiety soso much worse. Anyone who can relate or provide any advice would be greatly appreciated.
So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?
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