Eye contact

You know when you have weird thoughts about a coworker and because you have OCD these thoughts really stick and you panic and feel sick? Yeah that’s me and I’ve struggled with having intrusive thoughts about my coworker and now he just got in a relationship with my coworker and my intrusive thoughts are WORSE I thought they would be better? And initially they were because I was relieved that he couldn’t be weird with me now because he has a girlfriend. But this is the thought that i cannot get over- my OCD is like you’re jealous that he doesn’t like you and he’s not with you instead and i envy this girl he is with. Why the fuck am I having these thoughts while I’m in a healthy relationship and love my boyfriend to DEATH- like I know he is my forever. I couldn’t look at him today because I’ve been obsessing over this thought I’ve had in work and now I have to find a new job I hope no one will judge me for these thoughts or maybe someone has had this weird thought before? :(

I just left my apartment and was heading out ,when a guy who was black poked his head out of the elevator and scared me by accident. I immediately apologized bc i think i jumped or gasped a little. Then i was like 'what if he thinks I'm racist if I take the stairs like i usually do instead of the elevator ' bc i usually take the stairs since I'm on the 2nd floor. I went over and tried to go in the elevator but it was already closing. So he awkwardly held it open and I apologized again. I stood in the elevator and I think he took a step away from me. I'm scared i was racist somehow and it felt rly awkward overall.

does anyone else get really vivid intrusive thoughts of the person who you are talking to (or close to physically) just randomly striking you violently? i keep getting them when i’m just talking to my dad one on one in the car & i get a flash of intrusive thoughts of him grabbing my hair & shoving my face in the dashboard. it gets me so anxious :’)