- Username
- Sam97
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Me... Even after months after that night...
And are your memories eeally vivid ?
Yes :( i have been struggeling with that for the last few months eventhough i haven't had a drink in almost a year ...
What about you?
The more you think about them, the more real they seem right?
Unfortunately yes.. the more you think about them the realer they seem.. i just want to stop myself from thinking... But that makes it even worse
I’ve been dealing with it for 6 months now! It’s a lot better, but it was pure mental torture for so long
What was your theme Louiss ?
How did you get better?
Three days ago. I had a pocd thought and I decided I wasn't distressed enough and that must mean it's true. Awful. That's why I try to stay away from alcohol.
It was POCD, it started with horrible false memories from when I was a child It went from thinking I may have seen child pornograpy, to spiralling thinking “what if I downloaded it?!” And got stuck on that for ages Then it went to 2 years ago when I had a few drinks, I remember having a Facebook conversation with some girl and I couldn’t remember it. So my mind is like “what if she was underage, what if you did this, what if you said that” ? Then more recently it’s been cheating OCD and even animal abuse ? And how to get better...I’ll talk about that in a minute!
Honestly, I don’t really know how I improved Gradually over time I think it’s natural, however the turning point was when I gave up. I had been fighting it so much, so I got to a point where I gave up on life...that’s when it started get better I still have off moments and off days, but I can enjoy things now. I created a ‘Bucket List’ and am trying to make the most out of life. May I ask what your memory is about?
It was about cheating ocd. I would need reassurance from everyone who was out with me... It has been really bad the last few weeks, nothing seems to be working... I also started talking therapy, hope that will Help. But now it feels like the obsessions are also about other things even worse than cheating.. just hope to get better.
I’m sorry to hear that, there really is no easy solution. It really is worse than any physical pain I’ve been through ? It definitely does get better, I never thought it would
The more you think about those memories, the more details you add to them so they seem so real and vivid at the end. Is it like this for you guys too? I guess we really have to stop ruminating
Alcohol and OCD: A cruel mistress! Hi all. I wanted to share my thoughts and potentially start a discussion about the role of alcohol in OCD. Certainly in my case I think it is a fundamental contributor to my suffering, and I'm not surprised about the statistics related to how many OCD sufferers also suffer from problematic drinking. My current obsessive themes are Real Event/guilt OCD and are often related to situations and events where I was incredibly drunk with fuzzy and missing memories, or my drunkenness contributed to certain actions that I now obsessively regret. Whilst this was in the past, alcohol is still contributing to my suffering, and I'm starting to wonder whether I would be much happier without it. I find that after sometimes months of feeling fine, most if not all of my major relapses have occurred directly after a night of heavy drinking, and that spark has sent me spiralling for days and sometimes weeks. I then became obsessed about limiting my drinking in certain situations, I had a fear that if I was drunk I would end up committing some horrible crime or cheating on my partner. Now though I'm finding that I'm drinking moderate amounts of alcohol on a very regular basis, just to take my mind off my obsessions, which is very unhealthy. When I have a drink, even just one, it feels like my thoughts just almost vanish in importance, it's like a beautiful break from all the suffering. This feeling scares me a little and I now worry that I might be verging on some form of dependency on alcohol. I'm not looking for any reassurance here, just wanted to share my experience and chat with others who might also be struggling in this way.
I struggle most with harm OCD+real event+false memories. The mental rumination gets exhausting. I constantly beat myself up over past mistakes and will fill in the pieces I don’t remember with the worst case scenario. I self soothe by reminding myself I am not a bad person and my worries are disproportionate to the actual situation due to the fact I struggle with OCD. But I quickly get interrupted with an intrusive thought telling me “it is that bad and you’re pinning it as OCD to down play it and avoid accountability”. Anyone else struggle with this?
I'm terrified that my biggest fear happened on a night I drank too much and blacked out. I now keep finding/looking for evidence to try and prove/disprove and it's terrifyingwhen I find something that supports the belief. Does anyone else experience this. So angry with myself for letting myself drink to this point. Have been so depressed
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