OcdDemons
- Date posted
- 6y
catpantscatpants
- Date posted
- 6y
Both. Yes and yes, I’ve had themes run the gauntlet of the umbrella of “what if I’m a horrible person or did a horrible thing” and it will latch on to real events at times and twist my memory and reaction until it is out of proportion. You’re definitely not alone in your themes. POCD was a theme for me for almost a year, it got to the point where I couldn’t even look at a child without anxiety, but the exposure helped and now I’d say it’s 80 percent gone. I still get fears about it here and there but it’s a world away from how I felt. Of course something else took its place, but there is always hope !
catpantscatpants
- Date posted
- 6y
Hey I just responded to your other post hahah. I just wanted to chime I. And say I have the same theme as you. And what works for me in this instance is saying, well if I was I’d cope. I’d live through it and I’d find peace again. I always accept that the fear could be a reality because it takes the power away from the intrusive thought for me. If I’m terrified of that reality than I resist the thoughts and try to fight my way out but if I accept that maybe it could be a reality, then the anxiety spikes momentarily but eventually gets lessened.
OcdDemonsOcdDemons
- Date posted
- 6y
Damn thanks. Like me, do you also suffer from real event themes of OCD? Or POCD?
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
Same thing here, real event and POCD. Best weapon is to become cynical - When you see those news smile and say, yeah I am evil but right now I don' want to rape anybody, I want to feed my dog or go exercise.
OcdDemonsOcdDemons
- Date posted
- 6y
Fernando ha well ive never seen or heard of that!
OcdDemonsOcdDemons
- Date posted
- 6y
Catpants, thanks :-) how did you get over real event themes as traditional ERT isn't working a lot. As instead of "Oh god i might harm someone close to me" its "OH GOd! Ive molestered someone!"( when i havent really, my mind just bends and twists things out of reality) Ive tried imaginal exposures and that failed
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
What I mean is that you need to agree with the OCD and then do something aligned to your values. With real life events the imaginal exposures are the best - If they didn't work then you didn't do them properly. Make sure you create them under the guidance of a behavioural specialist. For example, if your obsession is that you molested someone, or if you are not sure whether you did, then write a script that states the consequences of that, worst case scenario - Going to jail, never enjoying life due to guilt, etc. It must create anxiety, if it doesn't then it's not the right approach. You need to read it and/or record it and listen to it at least 20 times a day, to a degree where it is boring. Your OCD then will throw you a new question that will scare you, then you do another script. The thing is this - Let's assume that you did molest someone, now what? Report it to the police? There is no evidence. Kill yourself? Like that's gonna help someone. Go on with your life, man. You are an imperfect human - live your whole humanity.
Related posts
andrea_sam730
- Date posted
- 24w
Intrusive thoughts during self intimacy
Today has been really hard I feel like I can’t even breathe I feel like a pedo for real :( whenever i think during my alone time i try and coexist with it? but when i decided to think and think i panic and panic more and more i start feel more guilty guys I can’t take this anymore bc when I kinda feel certain it fades aways i think logically i know i probably am ok :( but it’s so scary for me what if i did actually act on the thought and I didn’t realize? And now reflecting it ???
Andi 🤓☝️
- Date posted
- 9w
Distressed 18+
I feel nauseous. Extremely sick, i cannot eat, cant sleep well, and I haven't enjoyed things I normally enjoy to cry in bed and spiral for several days already. I feel extremely anxious over my past real events. I remembered something extremely triggering. I used to be morbidly curious about crimes and like I remember when i was a younger teen I watched a dark documentary that honestly i shouldnt have watched. There was this extremely weird scene and i think i felt weirded out but also a little aroused? but only bc I was thinking "lucky, shes already having sex. I wish I was her so i could experience it too." The poor person was like 1-3 years younger than me at the time. I KNOW how wrong that is now i legit feel like im going to throw up rn. Anyway I think I felt a little aroused??? And I think I touched myself a little bit and imagined myself in her place? I dont think I enjoyed it bc i remember it felt forced and weird and i stopped. I never did it again. I feel so sick! I would NEVER watch a documentary like that now as an adult and think or touch myself to it thats just so wrong but im scared that this is a sign im a sicko/p. I remmeber crying at the end of the documentary bc I felt disturbed by the contents but i still put some in my watch later out of morbid curiosity to see more real cases of these crimes bc they scared me. I never watched them again though. It only happened once and it was before my ocd started which SCARES me even more!!! And i wouldnt watch them as an adult either theyre too disturbing! I regret it so badly and feel like a monster bc it was messed up. Like what was wrong with me?! Theyre extremely disturbing to me and I rather avoid such content bc its triggering to my ocd but im afraid now like was that a sign of me possibly being a p? Am I a monster??? Am I in denial? Is this even ocd?! I feel so much shame and guilt it's killing me. 😔
Givenup
- Date posted
- 6w
UPDATE
UPDATE: ive reduced my posts to once per day in hopes of trying to overcome this... but right now... i genuinely feel so horrible and anxious that i need to post... (For context, in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent a n00d to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly explicitly chatted wjth a minor... i know that this is all my fault, but still...) Its making me feel like I cant remember things properly... making me think i unknowingly explicitly chatted with a minor online or being catfished by a man or kid... making me question every woman Ive ever been flirted with or explicitly chatted with... intrusive thoughts of me "explicitly cybering with a minor or a man" and of me going to jail because my worst fear of "unknowingly cybering with a minor(s), or being catfished by one" coming true... im genuinely depressed... and I feel so alone... uncertainty has brought me nothing but hell... and theres no getting out... it feels like im waiting every day for my intrusive thoughts and fears to be proven right, and ending up with me going to jail... I have never felt more alone... I just keep getting intrusive thoughts that one day, when I become famous or get my dream job, im going to get a future moment of any girl I explicitly cybered with in the past, saying... "Hey, I was a minor when we cybered and while you didnt know, im going to get you arrested or cancelled." Or that im gonna get catfished by a dude pretending to be a woman online... Im genuinely scared of the future... and this is honestly why I dont want to be famous or an influencer... Because not only do i fear someone will "expose" me for my POCD and my Real Events OCD, but im also scared about this entire situation...
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