- Date posted
- 2y
Long distance relationship
how come my bf is fine with going long periods without me? he has said he doesn’t mind it and why is he so much less unbothered by it than i am
how come my bf is fine with going long periods without me? he has said he doesn’t mind it and why is he so much less unbothered by it than i am
i understand this. tbh i honestly came to the conclusion that i just need to learn how to be ok with enjoying time alone as well. i can relate because my bf can enjoy moments even when he is without me for a bit. i understand tho. its hard because then u start thinking like “damn am i not a missable person?” or things like “does he like being around me?” stuff like that, but i learned that people can love the time with you and without you and it doesn’t take away the joy they get when they do see you. i do understand tho. i have to work on this myself
I am so glad you can relate. I try to be okay with this but then he does this: he has been in Japan for 2 weeks and after he got back I could not see him for awhile and then he finds out his tire has a nail in it. So then I am not able to see him until the car is fixed and he told me he would visit me as soon as it was fixed...but then his brother wanted to use his car out of no where to go on a ski trip with his friends and my bf lets him use it. it made me so furious because he switched the plan on me when i have already been waiting a month to see him but his whole thing is that he will see me in a few days so it will be okay but he does not understand why i am so crushed by his choice and how it makes me feel like he doesnt want me.
Hi! With any “what if” ocd thought we have to sit through the uncomfortable feelings, you can do it :)
I know that this feels really hard, especially in the moments that it happens. I think that everyone is so different in how they react to various situations. Something someone once told me that helped me in a different scenario was that maybe it isn't that one is right and the other isn't- maybe you are both right in your way of handling situations, it doesn't have to be either or. You both come from different histories that shape who you are and how you respond. I think that relationships are about learning about each other and finding ways to compromise and allow each other to feel what they feel. Hope this helps somewhat.
For some reason, my brain gets upset when my boyfriend hangs out with other people. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but sometimes I can’t help it. I understand that he has a life outside of our relationship, and that’s great. He reassures me all the time, in fact, he often tells me he would rather spend time with me than with his friends. He’s a perfect partner, and I love him more than anything. However, I don’t want this to become an issue in our relationship. I know why my mind thinks this way, even though I don’t believe it to be true. My brain keeps telling me that he would rather be somewhere else than with me. Those words repeat in my head every time he’s out with friends, and I don’t know why. I want to find a solution to this obsessive and jealous thought so that I don’t ruin his time with friends. I really need help with this issue.❤️
Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing okay. I’m currently struggling in the worse way I have through the course of my relationship. We are doing long distance right now, and I am unfortunately in the worse place I have been in. The uncertainty is absolutely unbearable. He is doing a cool new, consuming job 7 hours a way. He loves it, but I fear him loving the job so much that he stops caring about me. I have definitely noticed a shift in the amount of time he texts me and the energy he can give to the relationship. The job actually started off with 2 weeks of no phone. He has it again now though. We saw each other a couple of days ago in person for the last time we would in about two months. I was okayish when we were in person though I knew I would spiral later. And spiral I did. He left and I broke down. I am worried I will lose him. I start a really intensive EMT program in a week. It will be all-consuming for me. I can’t sleep very much and I don’t feel like eating. I know it’s pathetic. I am constantly consumed by these fears. I think I know what I need to do to combat them. Accept uncertainty but it feels like the possibly of it ending feels more real than ever. And I literally can NOT stop thinking about it. My brain feels in danger!!! I just worry that bad stuff is actually happening. I think we are going through a rough patch, but I also just feel more alone than ever. Drowning in my mind. What do I believe? I have a past of ocd, so it wouldn’t be surprised if it’s getting intertwined. Most people would say: it’s okay to ask him for reassurance about the relationship!!! But I feel like that’s the trap for me. I don’t know how to move forward. I know things are tough for us right now. But I’ve been floating back and forth on a spectrum of well maybe I just have trust to maybe this literally won’t work out!!! Texting and communicating over text is really hard for me. I am constantly analyzing it: how much energy is he giving? How much energy am I giving? Well I don’t want to do all the emotional labor, and be the main texter. But I also don’t care about texting that much and get exhausted with this back and forth.
okay so i know that my boyfriend gets busy and i am usually checking my phone ALL THE TIME. like i am just that kind of person. but sometimes my boyfriend doesn’t reply to me for a bit and it makes me sad. he lags a lot, and it makes me mad when he doesn’t reply for a long time. we text and stuff but he doesn’t text me as much as he used to. and it stresses me out and i worry that it’s a red flag, or if it’s my OCD telling me to worry about it. i am the kind of person to say “actions speak louder than words “ and ive said that to him multiple times and he says he’s gonna work on things. it’s not like he doesn’t text me AT ALL, he texts me good morning everyday it’s just the lagging that makes me upset. so, is it my OCD telling me to worry about it or is it actually a concern?
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