- Username
- Annella
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Long distance relationship
how come my bf is fine with going long periods without me? he has said he doesn’t mind it and why is he so much less unbothered by it than i am
- Username
- moonjoymoonjoy
- Date posted
- 1y ago
i understand this. tbh i honestly came to the conclusion that i just need to learn how to be ok with enjoying time alone as well. i can relate because my bf can enjoy moments even when he is without me for a bit. i understand tho. its hard because then u start thinking like “damn am i not a missable person?” or things like “does he like being around me?” stuff like that, but i learned that people can love the time with you and without you and it doesn’t take away the joy they get when they do see you. i do understand tho. i have to work on this myself
- Username
- AnnellaAnnella
- Date posted
- 1y ago
I am so glad you can relate. I try to be okay with this but then he does this: he has been in Japan for 2 weeks and after he got back I could not see him for awhile and then he finds out his tire has a nail in it. So then I am not able to see him until the car is fixed and he told me he would visit me as soon as it was fixed...but then his brother wanted to use his car out of no where to go on a ski trip with his friends and my bf lets him use it. it made me so furious because he switched the plan on me when i have already been waiting a month to see him but his whole thing is that he will see me in a few days so it will be okay but he does not understand why i am so crushed by his choice and how it makes me feel like he doesnt want me.
- Username
- hellopeoplehellopeople
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Hi! With any “what if” ocd thought we have to sit through the uncomfortable feelings, you can do it :)
- Username
- Stacy QuickStacy Quick
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 1y ago
I know that this feels really hard, especially in the moments that it happens. I think that everyone is so different in how they react to various situations. Something someone once told me that helped me in a different scenario was that maybe it isn't that one is right and the other isn't- maybe you are both right in your way of handling situations, it doesn't have to be either or. You both come from different histories that shape who you are and how you respond. I think that relationships are about learning about each other and finding ways to compromise and allow each other to feel what they feel. Hope this helps somewhat.
Related posts
- Username
- Saraa
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi. I would love an opinion: Me and my bf, have a really similar personalities and intrest. We get along really well. The difference came out from the fact that I have an anxious attachment (= giving priority and attentions to express my love. I would love to spend all my days with him) but he is avoidant! (=super independent, prefers to do things alone, fears being "strict" in a relationship; have a lot of females friends, ready to take my place). I get really hurt by some behaviours of him, but that he do without giving them the same meaning that I see and that hurts me. He want to solve the problems. But all of that make me question myself: would be better finding someone more compatible with me (I mean, someone that gives to attentions and time spent togheter, the same importance that I give? I would prefer it, I don't want to keep being hurt... but I don't want to broke up with him either... what should I do?? Is that still rocd?
- Username
- allie05
- Date posted
- 1y ago
relationship ocd
so a lot of the time i worry i don’t love him. but recently, i’ve been obsessing (losing sleep too) over if he doesn’t love me. i’m constantly worrying he’s not doing enough and he’s not right for me and it makes me so anxious i can barely breathe. is this normal???
- Username
- Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Relationship rant
My bf and I have been together for 6 years and im having trouble connecting with him. I’ve suffered from hocd and rocd for like 3 years now (maybe longer, who knows) but I feel like this is an actual issue? So I enjoy sex with him but my love language is quality time and snuggling. Sex is great but sometimes I look forward to the end of sex because then I know it means we can snuggle closely and enjoy each others company without the worry of him initiating it again. Because usually when I touch him and get close to him, he’ll get ‘excited’ and make advances basically 9 times out of 10. And when I tell him I just want to cuddle, he acts different: not in a douchebag way but he just falls silent and doesn’t really say much. His sex drive is higher than me so now I have an automatic assumption that when we are talking or I touch him in the slightest way, he’s only thinking about sex and not genuinely invested in our conversations. Anyways, just wanted to do a little rant. If any of you could relate that would be nice to hear.
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