Okkkkkkkk what the hellllll this is really werid idk if its normal.. but, whenever i think of my intrusive thoughts about hurting people (wich have been ruining my life for the past three weeks) or even say certen words that trigger stuff my inside of my ear like pulses and makes a thud sound and it wont stop and its driving me insane does anyone know what this is? I dont know what to do i feel like giving up this is so new this is to much stress for me

No, none of us know. But it sounds like it’s pretty stressful and scary. It’s also probably harmless. But I’d encourage you to accept that you just don’t know what’s going on, and that’s ok. Engaging in compulsions to make yourself feel better is only reinforcing your OCD. It seems like your harm Ocd theme is relatively new, so I totally understand why you’re struggling. Are you seeing a therapist yet? An OCD specialist could really help you here. Next time you have the thought worrying about moving your arm and hurting you cat, take a deep breath, acknowledge the thought, and move on. Your anxiety about having the thought is exactly what’s creating and perpetuating it. The more mindful you can be about your thoughts throughout the day, the better. Try a mindfulness workbook if you can buy one. For ERP, you may specifically want to start with your cat! First you could just pick you cat up and gently place it in new spots around the house. Whenever you get thoughts that tell you you could hurt it, sit with the anxiety and uncertainty of that fear without doing any compulsions (ie seeking reassurance, trying to analyze the thoughts/feelings, testing your body for urges to hurt it, etc). Keep sitting with the anxiety until it subsides naturally. Do this every day until it no longer causes anxiety and then make it harder: maybe hold you cat from a higher place or hold a pocket knife when you’re around your cat. Whatever you can come up with to spike your anxiety more without totally debilitating yourself of course. Resist compulsions and repeat the process.

Im trying to look for a therapist but no one will call and they said it could be weeks before i start seeing anyone i feel screwed and im always terrifyed im going to lash out and kill some one im so scared

But please does anyone know whats going on

What book should i get

Hey Evan, I know this feeling of pulse in the ear, though not directly linked to when I have intrusive thoughts. I also don‘t know what it is, but I think the energy in our bodies is going crazy. We‘re kind of heroes to contain that ?I still hope to somehow release it/ get rid of it. Good luck for you

I see. In that case, check out: Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts By: Sally Winston & Martin Seif A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook By: Bob Stahl & Elisha Goldstein

You may also want to read Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz just to learn more about OCD and how it works.

I understand how ocd works one of my compulsions is going on google and just searching so much im so terrifyed im going to become a murder and kill someone i love shiiit im so atressed

But ill give the book a read

And the ear thudding what in the hell is that@Jin

I understand you said you dont know what it is but what happened when you had it and how long did it last

You have to stop seeking answers to those questions. That’s exactly what’s feeding your OCD. Accept that there are no certain answers because that’s the truth: how long it lasted or how it felt to someone else is irrelevant to your situation. Yours could feel different and last significantly longer or shorter.

Your Ocd is telling you to research and learn as much about it as possible because it’s a compulsion that’s gives you the illusion of control or safety but it’s fake and OCD will never let whatever reassurance you have last. The only way to overcome it is to sit with the uncertainty and anxiety until it naturally subsides. It’s not easy! But it’s the only way.

Ok thank you it is extremly hard for me to sit with the thoughts

It’s super hard! But it is literally the only way to overcome OCD. You will never find a piece of reassurance that will actually last. But the more you practice accepting uncertainty, the easier it will be.

How come i was normal less than a month ago but now its happening

It also happens whenever i touch my cats but it wont happen at all what so ever if i dont. Idk if thisnis becasue the other day i had a really bad thought that scared me i thought " if i move my arm this way i could kill my cat so easily" then i started freaking out.

How do you think I’m going to respond to that question? I bet you can guess: I don’t know, and there’s no way we can prove for sure what happened. But even if we could, it wouldn’t help what you’re dealing with now. Seeking a certain answer will only keep driving the obsession. If you’ve never experienced OCD before and you’re really new to all of this, try reading a book or doing a workbook. This ones good: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346