Am I to blame for my struggles with intrusive thoughts and their impact?

Worse

I woke up in early morning, I tried to go back to sleep but can't and I look through the phone. Then, I still have intrusive thoughts and I'm eating peppermints, using crystals trying to deal with it. My grandma (we shared in one room) aks me why I'm making noise, because tli using crystals on my desk and I saying"shut" to those thoughts. And then I don't want to disturb to try to deal with intrusive thoughts and then I throw my soft plush toy at her and I scream and told her to stop and I trying to deal. My mom woke up and she got pissed why I'm like this bc I deal with intrusive thoughts. And she made me go sleep in her bedroom and I apologize to my grandma and I didn't meant it. And I cried that why I'm like this? I still dealing with those intrusive thoughts that made me like this? My mom tried me to calm down and told me wait for grandma to woke up as if I go back to my room and never go to sleep at my room with my grandma now. It's it my fault?

Username: Linali Linali

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes.

Username: Maxine.hizonMaxine.hizon

Date posted: 1y ago

However, I don't want to blame or excuse my ocd

Username: Linali Linali

Date posted: 1y ago

@Maxine.hizon It’s good that you apologized to her. I can understand how it would be hard sharing a room with your grandma.

Username: Maxine.hizonMaxine.hizon

Date posted: 1y ago

@Linali Recovery is very hard for me to do

Username: Billy 1Billy 1

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Hey, this sounds difficult for you. Intrusive thoughts are really hard to deal with at times with others around us sometimes not understanding the exhaustion surrounding the rumination’s as they can’t physically be seen. Try sitting with these anxious thoughts, allow them in and don’t engage with them. See them for what they are…… just thoughts! This may sound hard to do but with practice it can be done. The more power we give them the stronger they become. OCD lives of uncertainty and even when we can give it 100% certainty it still wants more and throws the “what if” questions at us making further doubt and the cycle is never ending. Lean in and accept that uncertainty, this is when OCD looses the power to take control. If you haven’t had support from an OCD specialist yet then I’d highly recommend NOCD, they’ve helped me gain control of my life again. I’ll attach some great links for you have a look over. You’ve got this, your strong and there is light at the end of the tunnel my friend. What is ERP https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-exposure-and-response-prevention-therapy 15 min consultation https://www.treatmyocd.com/calendar?src=homepage&_gl=1*dpgbx1*_gcl_aw*R0NMLjE2MzY2NTk5MTQuQ2p3S0NBaUFtN09NQmhBUUVpd0FydkdpM0QwaEhYczN1Q0ZabWhVRUF4RndaaDJoa3AxbTRnek9TRWQweUJ4U3pqeU1SRU9FNGVwZkFSb0NNY0VRQXZEX0J3RQ..

Username: VGHVGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

So sorry you’re still struggling with this. It is very difficult to deal with these thoughts and it can make you feel angry and irritated. If I was doing a compulsion, like checking something, and someone interrupted me I would get angry with them because I knew I’d have to start the compulsion all over again. The best thing to do is stop doing the compulsions which I know is hard. Here is a link to a great book by Winston and Seif which may help you to understand and learn to deal with this. https://m.alibris.com/search/books/isbn/9781684033706?&&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpPKiBhDvARIsACn-gzA4X_UNeBfUZqQ9yB9qL0aywlpCchp5Z8VUdEXfVTGVErLN--PyOvoaAiKbEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&invid=17567925080&utm_campaign=NMPi&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=Google

Username: han ;)han ;)

Date posted: 1y ago

Try listening to “God only Knows” by for King and Country. It truly helps

Username: jelpk

Date posted: 5y ago

LONG POST: Can someone help me by answering this? I’ve had intrusive thoughts before but I used to just push them away. In September, I had intrusive thought about life after death and it sent me into a spiral of fear and anxiety. I had trouble falling asleep and focusing during the day. I went to see a therapist a month later. It was a walk-in session and they told me to do CBT. Accept uncertainty and move on. This gave me even more anxiety. Eventually, with meditation, i was able to keep the thoughts at bay. Then in December, I began to have intrusive thoughts about my sister. They were sexually disturbing and I even wished that I could have intrusive thoughts about death again. I then it switched to sexual thoughts about my brother and he’s only a kid so I feel even more disgusted by myself. It’s been like this for three months now. I’ve tried meditating but it’s not doing much. I’m ashamed to tell my parents and I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I’ll act on the thoughts all the time. Then I wonder if I actually want to have them. It’s so draining. I hate waking up each day to these thoughts. I wonder if I actually want to have them since I have had them for so long. I’m so frustrated with myself.

"Pure" OCD

Username: MissLovely

Date posted: 5y ago

Someone reply ? I am absolutely shattered, my whole body aches, maybe I got an hour sleep if I was lucky, but don't remember sleeping at all. It's clear to me that I can not sleep round anyone's house but my own. I slept at a friend's because of my pocd because I'm so scared of my head. I told my cousin about my intrusive thoughts whilst a bit drunk last night by text, I said I had to stay at a friend's but I lied and changed my ocd into a different thing. Because it was clear to me that she wondered why I avoid my nephew. So I said I was worried I'd throw him out the window. Cause of course I couldn't say I'm worried everyone will think I'm a pedo cause I think I look shifty in the face around kids. And she said why are you worried about throwing him out the window he is just a little boy. Well of course that made me feel absolutely shit, and now I'm worried she'll tell everyone. I made it clear that I'd never act on the thoughts and she said oh I get it. But she might tell people in the family. And then everyone will think I'm horrible. Someone help. Also anyone know how I can make myself sleep when I get home when he has hopefully gone home? Also I feel so bad about not staying because he begged me to stay ?

Username: rose_rott

Date posted: 5y ago

I’m o.o Okay. So if y’all have followed my posts, you might know I have this weird form of harm ocd consisting of slurs of any kind. So, I was asleep right. And reminder: I’m on prozac and from what I’ve seen vivid dreams are a side effect I think. So, I’m asleep. But then I remember thinking those thoughts almost intentionally but when I tried to stop them they came out at rapid fire. I woke up from that sleep cycle and figured that that was probably because my intrusive thoughts repeating while I’m sleeping was common for me. Except, this happened again right before waking up. And I was frightened, not by the slur itself, but by this fear that I intentionally thought that. After some rumination I’m almost sure that this was both dreams but I seriously don’t know, and if it turns out it was actually Me thinking that I’m gonna feel fucking terrible. Tl;dr idk if I intentionally thought an intrusive thought and at this point I’m too afraid to ask

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Am I to blame for my struggles with intrusive thoughts and their impact?

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