- Username
- Iann
- Date posted
- 5y ago
yo i thought this only happened to me, only difference is i’m a female. it really makes me frustrated because it makes me so confused as to what i actually like
I have experienced exactly what you’re talking about. I’ve also overcome SOOCD and these thoughts never bother me anymore. I know you’re in a tough spot right now, but I promise it gets better! Do you have access to a HOCD specialist? Have you done any research on ERP and CBT on your own? The only way out is through with OCD. With some hard work, you can totally overcome this. When these thoughts come up, you have to stop fighting them and getting upset at them. Just let them happen. They’re there for one reason: to try to get you as upset as possible. The more you can allow them to just run free but sit with the anxiety until it subsides without doing compulsions to calm yourself, the more you’ll show your brain that these thoughts are irrelevant. And they’ll stop having the control.
I’ve felt exactly the same, only I’m female. I used to just find guys attractive naturally but now every time I see a guy that I think is cute or attractive, I run through my mind to make sure or check that I think he’s attractive, and analyze every thought and feeling that I’m feeling towards him. If for some reason I don’t feel attracted to him even for a second, I get crazy anxiety that that’s a sign that I’m gay. And I do the same for girls, only making sure that I’m NOT attracted to them, and if I feel like I am even for a second, the same anxiety strikes. It’s so confusing and maddening
I relate to this so much! I’m struggling to stop myself from mentally reassuring myself that I’m straight and instead just feeling the anxiety. If I can stop my mental compulsions before they trigger, I think I’ll be on a good path.
I feel for u
[Trigger for sexual orientation ocd/hocd] --- Man i hate this so much i hate that my brain is so convinced that im not a gay man. I wouldn't even know the first thing to say about what i find attractive in a woman. Yeah uh her boobs are so. Boobs. They exist. Yeah she has really sexy uh...i dont even know. Yes women in suits sure do wear suits. When i look at a man i can say wow i love how his chest looks i love his back between his shoulders and how his waist tapers. All these things but my brain keeps telling me im wrong It keeps telling me to try and test and check and that one day ill "unlock the secret" I know ive posted a lot here today but im just so frustrated. I wanna keep pushing with my exposures and cbt but its so frustrating especially when so many people are like "well just accept it youre probably bisexual" but I know for a fact my body and heart only respond to one despite what my brain tells me. I swear I knew the difference that attraction =/= attractive before this clocked me so hard but i spend so much of my time with this now im so exhausted and fed up and beyond annoyed. I already know who i am brain just let me be in peace please!!!
So looks like I’ve hit a wall I haven’t hit ever with this ocd. If you can even call it ocd. I genuinely feel confused. Idk what’s real or not. Idk what my mind or body wants. I feel so stressed out. My thoughts don’t give me anxiety anymore and sometimes it genuinely feels like I want it and I’m just hiding it. I don’t get it. I even lost attraction to this girl I was madly interested in. I don’t know what to do anymore really. I see any dude and my mind automatically starts thinking “you’re attracted to him” literally every single guy I see. I’m not even kidding. I really don’t get what’s going on with me. I haven’t been diagnosed yet because there are no ocd specialists in my area. My mom told me once she thinks she has ocd and my aunt as well. But their ocd seems more like the “traditional” type of ocd where you can actually see their compulsions. I think I struggled from Religious ocd a few years back. Also with my ex girlfriend there was a period where I struggled with ROCD I believe but got over it. Now Hocd has definitely been the worst and what makes it worse is that I actually had a gay experience but even after that I didn’t question my sexuality. I maybe would get the ocasional “you’re gay” thought but wouldn’t pay it attention and it just went away. But now it just can’t leave my head. This has been going on since February. I used to be crazy for women, don’t know what’s wrong with me. I even had sex with the girl I really like about 2 weeks ago and really enjoyed it! But now my attraction for her seemingly disappeared out of nowhere when this hocd bull starts acting up again. I’m so tired of this.
Having a rough morning, can’t figure out if I’m gay or straight. I miss men. I used to know my orientation now I’m so confused. I know it’s ocd because every female I see is attractive but i just want this to go away. My ocd is looking for new ways to bother me for ex. I had the thoughts what if I get cancer or what if I kill someone but nothing bothers me except for hocd
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond