- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm struggling with this too. Before I was actually obssessing over being asexual but it went away and now I'm genuinely questioning if I'm somewhere near demisexual. I do experience attraction but I usually feel romantic attraction first and then it comes sexual attraction. However ocd definitely messed up my attraction so it may also be that. It may be it may not. My ocd wants to make me obsess about it but I don't really care right now. When this will be over I'll have my answers
- Date posted
- 6y
Of course there is! That’s the OCD. If you were asexual and just not sure, the NEED to know wouldn’t be so strong. You’d just be like “oh I dunno I’m just not that into sex. Oh well.”
- Date posted
- 6y
How was your sex drive and experience with sex before HOCD? My guess is that if you lost your sexuality drive due to OCD, it doesn’t mean you’re asexual. However if you’ve never been interested in or fulfilled by sex, then you could be. The frequency of thinking about and wanting sex doesn’t really matter. We’re all on a spectrum. Some people want it multiple times a day. Others are good with once a month.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve never had sex I’m only 15
- Date posted
- 6y
But I can’t stop thinking about if I’m asexual or not
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh! You are definitely just suffering from OCD then. Don’t even worry about if you’re asexual or not. Right now your OCD is going to make it impossible to determine and the more you think about it the more confused you’ll get. Also at your age things like your sex drive are still in development! You actually won’t know until you’re done with puberty and your brain finishes developing and even then, sexuality kind of ebbs and flows throughout your life based on a ton of factors. I’ve had times of wanting it a lot and times of not really paying it much attention. Rule of thumb: if you can’t stop thinking about it that means it’s an obsession. And obsessions never lead to finding some deeper truth. You can’t feel the truth until you stop looking for it.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks sm!
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s just like their is this part of me that has to know though if I am or not?!?
- Date posted
- 6y
Exactly I feel the same way as you right now my mind wants me so hard to obsess over all this like it is like trying to push it in my brain but it’s not going to happen and I think I’m just not as anxious about it because I’m just tired of all these thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel the exact same. Like I don’t wanna be asexual I want to find love it just everything scares me. I had pocd then I was having soocd about if I was bi and then I got over that too and during all of this I still had a desire to be in a relationship and kiss someone etc the only thing that I did have through all of this was a fear of intimacy. Ever since I was a young child I’ve been scared of sex but when ever I pleasure myself I do want to and I can imagine it really clearly then after the anxiety kicks back in. So I’m getting over that now And I’m a lot more willing to have sex it’s just now it’s swapped and kissing and going on dates scares me but I still do want a relationship I just don’t think I will find someone who will put up with me because some days il want to be loved and some I will want to be left alone and Icolated and it making me have this while crisis about being asexual because I’m like well all your over friends just go straight into relationships fine why can’t you and idk what to do because I hate labels but I don’t wanna like be in denial of who I am but like I don’t even know who I am I identify as straight and I’m attracted to men but I’m just so scared did relationships
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 22w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 19w
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
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