How do I know if I’m asexual or if it’s really just hocd? Ive been obsessing over this for days. I don’t want to be asexual at all. I consider myself straight and not to long ago I got over the themes of gay and bisexuality of hocd. I don’t think about sex all that much maybe one every two weeks and I do want sex one day right now I just have that eh like it ok or whatever feeling about it and I don’t know does this stuff mean I’m asexual I have had slit of crushes before but I don’t know if I’m asexual. I need help!??

Sexual Orientation OCD

notfortalk

Date posted: 5y

I'm struggling with this too. Before I was actually obssessing over being asexual but it went away and now I'm genuinely questioning if I'm somewhere near demisexual. I do experience attraction but I usually feel romantic attraction first and then it comes sexual attraction. However ocd definitely messed up my attraction so it may also be that. It may be it may not. My ocd wants to make me obsess about it but I don't really care right now. When this will be over I'll have my answers

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

Of course there is! That’s the OCD. If you were asexual and just not sure, the NEED to know wouldn’t be so strong. You’d just be like “oh I dunno I’m just not that into sex. Oh well.”

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

How was your sex drive and experience with sex before HOCD? My guess is that if you lost your sexuality drive due to OCD, it doesn’t mean you’re asexual. However if you’ve never been interested in or fulfilled by sex, then you could be. The frequency of thinking about and wanting sex doesn’t really matter. We’re all on a spectrum. Some people want it multiple times a day. Others are good with once a month.

morgan?

Date posted: 5y

I’ve never had sex I’m only 15

morgan?

Date posted: 5y

But I can’t stop thinking about if I’m asexual or not

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

Oh! You are definitely just suffering from OCD then. Don’t even worry about if you’re asexual or not. Right now your OCD is going to make it impossible to determine and the more you think about it the more confused you’ll get. Also at your age things like your sex drive are still in development! You actually won’t know until you’re done with puberty and your brain finishes developing and even then, sexuality kind of ebbs and flows throughout your life based on a ton of factors. I’ve had times of wanting it a lot and times of not really paying it much attention. Rule of thumb: if you can’t stop thinking about it that means it’s an obsession. And obsessions never lead to finding some deeper truth. You can’t feel the truth until you stop looking for it.

morgan?

Date posted: 5y

Thanks sm!

morgan?

Date posted: 5y

It’s just like their is this part of me that has to know though if I am or not?!?

morgan?

Date posted: 5y

Exactly I feel the same way as you right now my mind wants me so hard to obsess over all this like it is like trying to push it in my brain but it’s not going to happen and I think I’m just not as anxious about it because I’m just tired of all these thoughts

Carly0022

Date posted: 2y

I feel the exact same. Like I don’t wanna be asexual I want to find love it just everything scares me. I had pocd then I was having soocd about if I was bi and then I got over that too and during all of this I still had a desire to be in a relationship and kiss someone etc the only thing that I did have through all of this was a fear of intimacy. Ever since I was a young child I’ve been scared of sex but when ever I pleasure myself I do want to and I can imagine it really clearly then after the anxiety kicks back in. So I’m getting over that now And I’m a lot more willing to have sex it’s just now it’s swapped and kissing and going on dates scares me but I still do want a relationship I just don’t think I will find someone who will put up with me because some days il want to be loved and some I will want to be left alone and Icolated and it making me have this while crisis about being asexual because I’m like well all your over friends just go straight into relationships fine why can’t you and idk what to do because I hate labels but I don’t wanna like be in denial of who I am but like I don’t even know who I am I identify as straight and I’m attracted to men but I’m just so scared did relationships

Mt2019

Date posted: 20w

Question about HOCD

Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please

violettag6

Date posted: 16w

so-ocd

So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 14w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

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