How do I know if I’m asexual or if it’s really just hocd? Ive been obsessing over this for days. I don’t want to be asexual at all. I consider myself straight and not to long ago I got over the themes of gay and bisexuality of hocd. I don’t think about sex all that much maybe one every two weeks and I do want sex one day right now I just have that eh like it ok or whatever feeling about it and I don’t know does this stuff mean I’m asexual I have had slit of crushes before but I don’t know if I’m asexual. I need help!??

I'm struggling with this too. Before I was actually obssessing over being asexual but it went away and now I'm genuinely questioning if I'm somewhere near demisexual. I do experience attraction but I usually feel romantic attraction first and then it comes sexual attraction. However ocd definitely messed up my attraction so it may also be that. It may be it may not. My ocd wants to make me obsess about it but I don't really care right now. When this will be over I'll have my answers

Of course there is! That’s the OCD. If you were asexual and just not sure, the NEED to know wouldn’t be so strong. You’d just be like “oh I dunno I’m just not that into sex. Oh well.”

How was your sex drive and experience with sex before HOCD? My guess is that if you lost your sexuality drive due to OCD, it doesn’t mean you’re asexual. However if you’ve never been interested in or fulfilled by sex, then you could be. The frequency of thinking about and wanting sex doesn’t really matter. We’re all on a spectrum. Some people want it multiple times a day. Others are good with once a month.

I’ve never had sex I’m only 15

But I can’t stop thinking about if I’m asexual or not

Oh! You are definitely just suffering from OCD then. Don’t even worry about if you’re asexual or not. Right now your OCD is going to make it impossible to determine and the more you think about it the more confused you’ll get. Also at your age things like your sex drive are still in development! You actually won’t know until you’re done with puberty and your brain finishes developing and even then, sexuality kind of ebbs and flows throughout your life based on a ton of factors. I’ve had times of wanting it a lot and times of not really paying it much attention. Rule of thumb: if you can’t stop thinking about it that means it’s an obsession. And obsessions never lead to finding some deeper truth. You can’t feel the truth until you stop looking for it.

Thanks sm!

It’s just like their is this part of me that has to know though if I am or not?!?

Exactly I feel the same way as you right now my mind wants me so hard to obsess over all this like it is like trying to push it in my brain but it’s not going to happen and I think I’m just not as anxious about it because I’m just tired of all these thoughts

I feel the exact same. Like I don’t wanna be asexual I want to find love it just everything scares me. I had pocd then I was having soocd about if I was bi and then I got over that too and during all of this I still had a desire to be in a relationship and kiss someone etc the only thing that I did have through all of this was a fear of intimacy. Ever since I was a young child I’ve been scared of sex but when ever I pleasure myself I do want to and I can imagine it really clearly then after the anxiety kicks back in. So I’m getting over that now And I’m a lot more willing to have sex it’s just now it’s swapped and kissing and going on dates scares me but I still do want a relationship I just don’t think I will find someone who will put up with me because some days il want to be loved and some I will want to be left alone and Icolated and it making me have this while crisis about being asexual because I’m like well all your over friends just go straight into relationships fine why can’t you and idk what to do because I hate labels but I don’t wanna like be in denial of who I am but like I don’t even know who I am I identify as straight and I’m attracted to men but I’m just so scared did relationships