Me before hocd : Omgg life finna be poppiinn, no one finna Touch me. One day ill find a boyfriend that loves me and i will find the cutest boy eeveeerrr and harry styles is my ultimate crush✨✨✨✨✨????? Me with hocd: im so done with this bitchass life like boii i dont find a single soul attractive, all i am is emptyness. Harry styles who? I dont feel anything towards him anymore. All my past crushes were fake i must like woman now. There is litteraly no proof to that i never even liked a girl i never thought of a girl in the way i thought about guys but still, im gay. ?

Yes! Geez, I hate this so much. I actually enjoyed fantasying about boys and now i don’t know and it sucks.

lmao the harry styles thing is a MOOD. i tried to use him has a coping mechanism for my ocd/intrusive thoughts but it really backfired and im afraid he’s ruined for me??

Yoooo exactly the same. Like it feels like im developing into the “real me” and shes gay. But then i know like little me drooled over boys. Teenage me too. Im still a teenager buuut i do believe this is hocd. If you would be gay u wouldve known. Ur not growing, your hocd makes you believe u are so dont give in to that thought. My advice is to stay away from anything sexuality related. Like just take a break from jt. Let your brain come to senses. It helped me. The anxiety is gone but the attracrion is not back. I truly hope it will return from here. I wish u the best !

I know uugh you dont know how glad i am i found girls my age and like me om here! I first was on a other support group online but there werent really a lot of girls my age on there. I learned a lot from there. I acc tried to stop going to the group bc ppl said its not good for your hocd which i do believe but this app is just something that really helps me and i can even make hocd memes on here like??? Bih dis is my home lololol anyway i do have to stop myself from coming here toooffen becasue the more time i spend on support groups the more time i spend on my hocd. And a loooot of people told me that distraction is the key. I have to go ger a job or something but hocd also ruined my motiavtion to go out there and do shit sooo much like for now it all is like, whats the point if im gay? So i just stopped caring about myself. I stopped staying hydrated, i stopped eating healthy, i stopped exercising... i know its bad but im just not myself at all. All i do in my life right now is shower, eat and sleep. I hate to let my parents down but i just wish they know what was going on so they dont think im just lazy. Anyway once i start writibg about my hocd feelings im never able to stop lol but i must ahah

I’m not dealing with HOCD but my OCD focuses really makes it seem like it ruined everything for me. I’m still pushing through and trying to watch Harry like i used to though??

I’m honestly just worried what if I’m growing out of being straight and I’m maturing and I’m becoming lesbian instead. Cause I used to obsess over boys as well. But now not so much. I’m scared it means something ?

Oh and advice? i mean im still a teenager but im not drooling over boys anymore lol teenager 12-15 drooled over boys. Now im 17. theyre like dust to me now due to hocd? i wish they were my dream again

Ahh I’m only 15! My ocd just started last year and it was the worst thing ever ! But yes I’m happy I’m not the only one who thought that.

I’m seeing about medication tomorrow, and as much as i hate the anxiety of OCD it also freaks me out when i don’t have anxiety it makes me think i “enjoy” it

Yes same here! The anxiety stage sort of stopped and now I’m scared that accepting the thought means I was in denial all along.

I’m 17 also and my OCD really hit me two months ago, but now that im looking back i can see the build up of it happening over time.

Yesss i feel u. Its like its been building up all over my life and it exploded. Last year was the worst. 2019 treated me a bit better like no anxiety. But it feels like me being lesbian is setteling into me. But i hope to stay strong and just keep living and hoping that one day i will feel everything i used to feel.

Yes we all will again. Sooner or later. I get scared each time I see a pretty girl. I start to analyze. I keep thinking maybe that means I’m only attracted to girls now. But before I would think anything of it. I knew I wanted a boyfriend and all of that. It’s what felt right to me. But now I’m so lost. It’s all so scary. Have you also experienced that?

The exact same thing i went trough. I completely relate. Like boys always felt right. They were my dream but true, every pretty girl i get this feeling in my belly that feels horrible its anxiett bevause i think i like them. My brain thinkgs The feeling is attractiom and therefore fake attraction. I haaate it because now im nervous around girls like whaaat?? Thats so unlike me. I always loved to be around girls because i could be myself and be comfortable as in friends u know. I miss thst womanhood feeling so much. Guys always made me nervous because i thought they were so cute and i wanted to look cute around them. Anyway now im nevrous aroung girls too and i hate it soo much i want to be comfortable again. In general this whole thing makes me so damn uncfomfortable 24/7 like im misplaced. Thinking im lesbian makes me feel so out of place but i hate that hocd made me get so used to the thought of being gay. I wish it was all still unknown to me.that i would never dived into all this. I fee like i lost my innocense and purity. Ugh this all goes so deep. Anyway i truly feel what u go trougj and im always here for you!

Oh man thanks! But it does go so deep , it goes from thought to thought. It sucks because we should just be happy and tell ourselves what we are. But then this stupid uncertainty won’t rest. Little by little we have to get back to normal.

I know. It truly sucks because i started college while having this and omg it ruined all my dreams and expectations. I thought i would go to parties and all that which i did get the chance to buut hocd made me stay home lol waaay to triggering. I always think of this scenario where im drunk and that i will go with a girl and omg its the freakiesthing to me. I know i would never do that because it would disgust me but still... hocd

Yeah I’m sure your finally would definitely care and try to help you. But I get if you don’t want to “bother” them. But I’m sure they wouldn’t mind helping you. But I understand. We are all here to support each other. So far, this app is nothing but helpful to me. It’s feels nice to know I’m Not alone. Especially since hocd is more common in men. But on here there’s many teenage girls going through it and I thought I was the only one. But we’re here for the support !

Forreal i try so hard but like it just wont give me any feelings

Yeah same, my ass used to cry every night when i was like 14 because i probably wasnt gonna meer him ever in my life. Well at least that heartbreak is over lol. But u know hes ruined for me too.. it hurts so mch to see all these girls thirst over him while im here like ? i could only wish. Its crazy thst i have to pray and wish to fall in love with a boy while before hocd i fell in love with every walking man around me. Well not litteraly but u feel me

That shit sounds tough. I can relate that it ruins everything for you. For me too. Like litteraly everything. My passion for makeup, fashion, harry ?✌? but yuh im tryna cope???

Omg that does really suck. It always ruins things. It would ruin when I’d go out. My family always tells me to go out and distract myself but then I see girls and it triggers me so bad.

Does ur family know about your hocd? I wish i could tell mine but they probably hand me over to the trash lol

Yes they do know. Only my siblings. I was scared they’d think I was lesbian and that why wouldn’t understand. But they did. They supported me. Talking to them made me feel less alone and i felt comfort knowing they knew. They also think I’m not actually lesbian but I’m scared of being lesbian.

Wow wish i could tell my fam. I acc think they would understand but im scared bevause i dont want to put another problem on them like they already are so busy with work and i just know they cant deal with me right now. But im managing right now like im breathing so i hope i can figure this out w ppl from here and just myself

Omg yes! I was on the support group too and no one replied quick like they do here! And there was many more active people here! I’m so glad to have found this app. But I was doing really good up until yesterday. That I started stressing and worrying about it again. But yes I feel you. When i was going through anxiety with hocd I couldn’t even sleep. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to work out. But I suggest you take it step by step. Working out can help you relive that anxiety you get. Just try. When you can focus on getting healthy again. Just step by step. I stopped feeling anxious but this damn question and worrying is still here. I try to focus on my boyfriend and make sure everything is good as normal. But sometimes it feels like I’m forcing myself to be in the relationship because of these stupid thoughts of thinking I’m lesbian. I hope that’s normal. Because I genuinely enjoy being with him. Sorry back the the point. I think you should consider telling your parents or any family member. It made me feel better to get support from people I know. But I get why you wouldn’t want you. Even if you don’t. You has this whole support group! Even better, because we actually understand what you are going through. We’ll all get the though this!

Thanks for the support girl, truly is helpful :)

i judt searched hocd and found this. and omg i relate so much to this :( this was posted a long time ago, how are u guys doing now ?