- Username
- roobbed
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Confused about my sexuality
Firstly, i’m a female and i’ve always believed I was attracted to both genders for as long as I can remember. Yet for some reason I feel like my attraction towards women is disingenuous. When I analyze my attraction towards females it seems to only present itself as lustful, and if not that it’s just me envying them and wanting to be them. After talking to other females who ARE attracted to women, I noticed how different our motives are. They tend to think of women as an ethereal and divine being that deserve to be care for etc. My attraction is full of insecurity, envy, and lust. Every female i’ve ever been attracted to, it was because they fit what I thought to be ideal to other people. I only liked them because they had something I envied. I have a hard time deciphering genuine attraction and envy. I am always comparing myself to every woman I see. (males too but not related to this topic) I feel like my thought pattern towards women is more similar to an apathetic male rather than a loving woman. This leaves me to believe I have never truly been attracted to anyone and it’s only ever because I envy something about their personality or physical appearance. When I think back to everyone i’ve ever liked, I wanted something they had or damn well wanted to be them. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just crazy?? I really hope this is me just overthinking and not my genuine emotions. Because I truly believe that beneath all my confusion, my feelings for other were genuine. Is that wishful thinking?