- Username
- Ms. P
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Did tracking intrusive thought and compulsion make
Did tracking intrusive thoughts and compulsion in the beginning of treatment make any of you feel worse?
Did tracking intrusive thoughts and compulsion in the beginning of treatment make any of you feel worse?
Hi, yes it did. I felt like I couldn’t do it because even writing the words were such a trigger for me and I wanted to get rid of that distress. Of course, initially I didn’t know that getting rid of the distress was a compulsion. I’d suggest you try your best, and explain the difficulties you had doing this to your therapist. Remember therapy is a process, you won’t feel better right away but have faith in the process. It will get so much easier. All the best.
Absolutely, still working on it without much progress. I also have ADHD and a big part of my problem is that I never remember to write thoughts down when they happen (and when I’m working I physically can’t), and by the time I’m able to write it down I’ve completely forgotten it. ADHD also impairs my ability to understand how to do certain things… for example my therapist told me to work on getting out of my head, and I don’t understand how. I asked her and she said that’s something I’ll have to figure out on my own, but I don’t understand how to start or what steps to take. So if anybody has advice I’ll take it!
@sanlewwy This is crazy similar to my own experience. I’ve found that catching the ‘first fear’ response - that initial gut-clench - and soothing that before it can take hold has been really helpful. Sorry if this makes no sense 😅
@kozyasher Makes complete sense. I feel the same way and I’m pretty good at self-soothing so usually just do that. Tracking thoughts/ compulsions is super painful and sends me into a spiral lol. Plus by the time I realize it’s an intrusive thought I’ve already started calming myself down, sooo 🤷🏻♀️
Yep. Dont do it
So i don't have access to an OCD psychologist and I really wanted to try ERP so I tried it on my own, but to be honest it made me feel sometimes worse. The only exercise I was doing was the look into a mirror and say "You might be gay, you might be bi, you might be straight it does not mather" I did it like 3 times per day. After some time I started having stronger compulsions and had a small amount of time where i was at my worse (even doing self harm) thinking I was just gay and should just acept it and that by saying it i was just acepting it. Do you think i did something wrong?
I was wondering if this is a thing. Like, say, especially if you are in the process of getting better. Doesn't doing ERP every day keep reminding you of your obsessions? Is there a point where you should do it less often? Or how does this work?
I’ve completed 11 sessions so far and I can honestly see progress. I’m not back to my “normal” self but I’m gaining parts of my life and my personality back. I never knew I had OCD. I always attributed things to anxiety. Being diagnosed let me know I’m not alone, I’m not crazy, and that there’s help for me. I have a long list of OCD subtypes. As you can imagine, the thoughts and images in my head were extremely distressing and I was concerned for my quality of life and my sanity. 11 sessions in and I’m able to watch shows and movies without being scared I’ll see a trigger, I can practice exposures and navigate through my obsessions better, and I’m finding joy in the little moments in life. I used to avoid so many things and people because I was scared I’d have intrusive thoughts. I still struggle with intrusive thoughts every single day. Some days and even weeks are bad and I struggle more than usual. I have mood swings, extreme irritability, and even sometimes experiencing depersonalization. Sometimes I just plain out feel uncomfortable and weird. But like my therapist said, progress is not linear. I’m learning to count my wins instead of always counting my losses. I’m learning to enjoy the little bits of life that are ok, and I feel proud when I get through hard moments. I’m excited for the future. I’m excited to see how much I progress. Sometimes I’m still scared but I know that’s my OCD trying to get me to quit because we both know this ERP therapy is helping. If you’re struggling, please seek help. It does get better. I wanted to quit after doing my first exposure. I’m so happy I didn’t. And on hard days when I want to give up, I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing to help myself.
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