My compulsions don’t bring me relief

Does anyone else find that their compulsions actually make their OCD/obsession worse? I don’t mean in the obvious way, like that it strengthens the OCD cycle, I mean in the way that when I perform my compulsions, they make my anxiety so much worse in the moment. My main compulsions are ruminating, arguing with my thoughts, and memory reviewing, but they all just end up giving me more intrusive thoughts/questions, making my anxiety more intense, and making me think my intrusive thoughts are real. I’ve always read that you perform compulsions because they bring you relief, and I suppose for me, they more make me feel like I’m working towards “solving the issue” or “answering my question”, so then is that my version of “relief”? In reality, it just makes my anxiety worse because the more I ruminate/memory review, the more jumbled together and foggy my thoughts/memories become, which in turn makes me think that if I ruminate/memory review just a little more, I’ll be able to “push through that fog” and find my answer, which then also causes me anxiety because my brain feels foggy and hence makes completing my compulsions/figuring out my obsession impossible (which I guess is good because I’m not supposed to complete my compulsions). All of this is making me believe that I don’t have OCD and that my intrusive thoughts are true and that’s why I can’t shake them and that’s why I feel the need to figure them out and why I feel so foggy… Or is this just meta OCD playing it’s devious tricks on me? Has anyone else experienced this or is this not OCD and I should be concerned that my obsession is true?

No matric ce...

Date posted: 7d ago

Complusions will never give you certainty about your obsession, because ocd is the doubting disorder for every loical answer there is all ways but what if,are you sure etc ,that is why you accept uncertainty ,my obsession may or maynot be true and if it is true you have to learn to be okay and move on its very hard and scary buys it's the only way to break ocd grip over you

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7d ago

I think compulsions are like alcohol in a way you have to do more compulsions to get the same amount of relief or a stronger compulsion as you keep doing the OCD continues to get worse than the cycle continues to get bigger. I’ve been there myself so you’re better off trying to completely stop doing the compulsion slowly. Starting with the strongest compulsions and working your way down. Sorry you’re having a hard time. Wish you the best.

moon027097

Date posted: 7d ago

this is all part of OCD. in the mind, whether it is physical like checking an object, a tap, a door etc, or mental, like mentally reviewing, performing the compulsion eases the distress for a short while. however, in doing it, it further reinforces that an action or thought is necessary to feel safe or not anxious. so it only reinforces the OCD cycle. that's the reason why resisting the compulsion is very important and needed for treatment and recovery (but is also why it feels like the most difficult thing on earth to stop because it brings relief for a moment). I also deal with false memory/real events OCD, so I felt very seen by the way you worded this post. I can relate to how you're feeling. And you're definitely right in seeing that the compulsion makes the loop stronger. It is part of OCD.

Tech Princess

Date posted: 7d ago

I understand 🫶 Many compulsions are unpleasant. I have certain compulsions that give me anxiety. Others give me temporary relief such as washing my hands or disinfecting objects, but it eventually becomes exhausting when I feel like I can't relax because it's interfereing with my daily life. When it comes to ruminating, I think that sometimes my brain subconsciously thinks that performing a compulsion will give me certainty or resolution or help fix something.

Ironborn

Date posted: 22w ago

Is this beyond ocd?

I'm reaching out in hopes of finding others who might relate to my experiences or offer insights. I'm dealing with a complex interplay of OCD, depression, and existential anxiety, and I'm struggling to make sense of it all. Here's what I'm experiencing: I have OCD with various manifestations, along with episodes of depression. I find myself in a cyclical pattern where, after a few weeks, I start to remind myself about my depressive tendencies. This reminder seems to trigger a cycle that actually makes me feel more depressed or at least more aware of depressive symptoms. When this happens, I often experience feelings of nihilism and existential dread. I try to think about my family - my two young boys and my wife - to find motivation or a sense of purpose, but this strategy often backfires, making me feel even more anxious and depressed. I constantly check my feelings, wondering if they're depressive or anxious. At the same time, I fear that my feelings of anxiety and panic might spiral out of control. I think about my emotions and thoughts on a meta-level, which means I'm not just experiencing feelings, but I'm also constantly analyzing the fact that I'm experiencing them. There's an existential component to my struggles, a fear of depression and anxiety itself, and a sense that this might be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps most frustratingly, I often have feelings, thoughts, or sensory experiences that I can't explain or put into words. I feel like I've never heard of these before, which leaves me feeling deeply misunderstood. Does anyone else experience something similar? How do you cope with this complex web of symptoms and experiences? I'm particularly interested in hearing from those who've found ways to break the cycle of meta-cognition and self-fulfilling anxiety. Any insights, shared experiences, or strategies would be deeply appreciated. Thank you for your time and understanding.

FairyWithaKnife

Date posted: 20w ago

I just don't know

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

Secretidentity

Date posted: 15w ago

Does any one ever question if their ocd isn’t ocd?

That’s kinda my question. All my thoughts feel so realistic and so now I doubt if they are ocd and if I just can’t make my mind up about something and I’m using ocd as an excuse or something idc I feel like this post is word vomit.

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My compulsions don’t bring me relief

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