I have been struggling a lot with not feeling like myself and feeling like I am dreaming all the time. I am always scared of the future and worried when my time will end. I don’t know how to feel like myself again and not have to always have that worry weighing on me. It feels like i’m just going through the motions of life.
Good advice @aos. Self care is very important! The world outside of our minds is so amazing, so much to experience, yet this pain in the butt OCD keeps us trapped in our minds, like a prison. You'll be ok, this isn't forever. I'd be happy to talk with you more and walk through this, if you'd like
@Someone99 yes please! i want to be able to feel happy and do what i used to love without feeling so sad, lonely and unmotivated
@Benip0913 Are you able to do ERP therapy?
@Someone99 Yes
I know the feeling all to well! My name's Mike, btw. :-)
@Someone99 Thank you Mike:) My name is Beni!
@Benip0913 Hi Beni! :-) Nice to meet you. One thing I realized very early in my OCD journey is that it's ok to not be ok at the moment. With OCD we never give ourselves a break, so it's very important to try to give yourself just a little bit of a break right now. 🙂
@Benip0913 Have you started ERP?
@Benip0913 Getting close to bed here. I'm going to check in with you tomorrow, if that's ok. :-)
@Someone99 yes please do:)
@Someone99 no i have not
@Someone99 what is ERP
@Benip0913 Good morning! Exposure, Response, Prevention therapy. It's what the NOCD therapists use to help us manage OCD. How are you doing today? Write me when you can, please. :-)
@Someone99 Oh okay that makes sense! I am doing okay i think!
@Benip0913 May I ask what part of the world you're in? :-)
@Someone99 Utah! what about you?
@Benip0913 So many on here are from all over the world!
I feel this way too
Pennsylvania! 🙂
@Someone99 That’s awesome! so cool!
@Benip0913 How long have you been struggling with OCD?
@Someone99 it’s been a few years. but i think since i’ve moved and started a new school nothing feels familiar so it’s gotten worse!
@Benip0913 That can definitely increase it. Did you move there for school?
@Someone99 Yes i did!
@Benip0913 Very cool. May I ask what you're studying?
@Someone99 im going to esthetician school!
@Benip0913 Nice! (I had to Google that. 🤭) lol
@Benip0913 Would you like to have a friend on a message app like telegram or discord?
@Someone99 hahaha thats funny:)
@Someone99 yes i would!:)
Do you have telegram? Or discord?
@Someone99 i have telegram!
@Benip0913 I think that's all you need. Look me up when you get a chance. :-)
I like telegram better:-) I'm @Mavh99
@Someone99 Okay perfect!!
@anonymous913 Hey, you doing ok?
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
Really bad theme right now is death, I keep thinking about how one day or at any moment my heart will stop my brain will stop & my memories & everything I know will all fade away. It is giving me so much anxiety I’m only 18, but I realize it all happens to us it is bound, we are born to die. I know it’s a silly thing to be scared because it’s not helping the quality of my life worrying about it and even when I do die, I won’t care , if you don’t have a working brain then how can you care 🤷♀️. It is tainting my everyday life currently & honestly making me terribly depressed & it is giving me derealization & making me feel nihilistic, I’ll remind myself it’s okay but then with my ocd i don’t stop thinking and thinking about it and it’s seriously so hard to stay present in the moment because this thought just feels like I can’t scrub it away it’s miserable I struggle with religion, but I do pray to anything that’s out there possibly listening, because it is comforting, it just feels like this whole experience Is pointless & I am afraid of the unknown and what is to possibly happen but I’m subjected to it anyways so why should it matter
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