Chrissy_27
- Date posted
- 6y
Vikki8829Vikki8829
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
My husband doesn’t really get it either. I don’t know that they can unless they have it too. But the more I open un to him and share what’s going on in my head and why I feel like I need to do my compulsions, the more he understands. For some, I think just education can be a big help. If you read any articles or books on the subject that move you, I’d encourage you to share those resources your significant other. I find that most people can relate in some way even if they don’t have OCD. Most people have quirky things they do like always putting on their left shoe before their right or double checking they did their math right by doing it again. That’s a relatable action/habit that normal ppl do that for us becomes compulsory. The discomfort they experience if they do their right shoes instead of left first or don’t double check their math is like a smaller version of the distress we experience from our obsessions even before we get to our compulsions. And then whereas they can be uncomfortable but let it go, our minds really really struggle to let go of that discomfort and move on. Finding small relatable things like that seems to help people understand our OCD a little bit more. I hope this helps you guys! ?
ocdjourneyocdjourney
- Date posted
- 6y
My husband started coming to therapy with me and it has been so helpful to both of us! My therapist was very supportive in including him in sessions.
RainbowgirlRainbowgirl
- Date posted
- 6y
So I’m still trying too figure out the answer to that question too??
RainbowgirlRainbowgirl
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow, that’s a brilliant idea, Ocdjourney! Was it your therapist idea or yours? How many times did he join your sessions?
ocdjourneyocdjourney
- Date posted
- 6y
I asked my therapist during the phone consultation before the first session if she includes spouses/significant others and she said “absolutely I prefer that!” He comes to almost every session, and it is so helpful to both of us. Sometimes he’s really involved in the session but sometimes he is listening mostly. He gets to see and understand what I’m working on and she also helps him with how to best help me when things come up. I was doing so much reassurance seeking and compulsions that involved him, and I knew it was affecting our relationship and hard on him. Now he knows to never reassure me and he’s gotten to know how to identify when my OCD is talking vs. when I’m talking! So it has really helped our relationship. He even named my OCD “Bernice” ? and will tell me “that’s Bernice” I’m not going to answer her!” It has helped me to externalize it as well because I used to feel SO guilty and frustrated when OCD obsessions flared up because I knew it was stressful for him and affected him. I also have a lot of relationship ocd obsessions so he now knows that’s “Bernice” talking if they come up and doesn’t even acknowledge them.
RainbowgirlRainbowgirl
- Date posted
- 6y
That sounds really helpful for the both of you? It sounds like my sessions with my therapist.. the only difference is that he doesn’t include spouses.. but we found a way through it; So now I’m a living function carrier pigeon?
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 20w
Telling a loved one you have a specific subtype
Hi all, I would really appreciate some advice on how you told a loved one about having ocd, specifically a significant other. I’ve been with mine for over 5 years, and I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. To be honest, with the subtype I have, it’s really crippling to deal with, and I have a major worry of my partner not understanding the subtype. I would love to get some advice on how to best approach it and how to provide understanding that I’m still the same person. Thanks!
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 8w
Wedding planning ROCD, can anyone relate?
Hey everyone! Not trying to seek reassurance, but more so would just love to know if others can relate so I feel less alone. I am engaged and planning my wedding for next summer, which has been very exciting and fun, EXCEPT that I sometimes get triggered by seeing TikToks or hearing people say that wedding planning should be like 100% equally shared between partners. I would say I am handling a bit more of the planning, mostly because I am the one who wanted the wedding more (as opposed to like a courthouse wedding) and will have many more guests, and my fiance is also just very easygoing and doesn’t have a ton of strong opinions about wedding stuff. But I’ve been hearing people say things like “planning your wedding together foreshadows how your marriage will be” and it’s causing me to overanalyze things, like how much we’re each contributing and whether it’s “enough” or whether it bodes well for our marriage. Even though we have a very healthy relationship and I’m super excited to marry him, and I really do consider us partners in every way. I just hate the black and white idea that everything should always be exactly 50/50 because my OCD brain latches onto that and starts looking for ways that we are “doomed.” Anyone out there experiencing something similar?
lbwocd
- Date posted
- 6w
I’m so frustrated-ROCD
My fiancée proposed on Monday. I have been waiting for this for a long time so of course I was so excited, called everyone, showed everyone we came across. Tuesday I started planning immediately and reached out to a venue I’ve always had my eyes on to schedule a tour. Later Tuesday night we went out to eat after we went golfing. I saw a friend and she told me about her first wedding, I told her I hadn’t known she’d been married before and as soon as she started talking I knew ocd was gonna grab this and run. She said she was with him for 6-7 years, she hadn’t really liked him but had it set in her mind that they were gonna be together forever, etc. I had been in a flare up already for about a month, it had just started to get better but now it’s on overdrive and I’m just so annoyed and discouraged. I was able to ride the high for 2 days before ocd decided to eat me alive. It’s only been 4 days but when I’m engaged in the planning and seeing the vision of the wedding and stuff I enjoy myself, I can feel the glee and I’m excited but when it gets quiet my brain gets loud. It’s exhausting. I know the facts, I know I love my fiancée. I know ocd is directly attacking my values because marriage is a huge deal to me. I want the 1 and done, same person forever. This man has loved me at my worst and cherished me at my best. And I have the same for him. Even when I told him I was feeling anxious and having a flare up, someone with no mental illness what so ever and really can’t understand what it’s like he was so understanding. It makes me feel so guilty. I wanna be enjoying this with him, every single moment of it, and in the moment I am but as soon as the world goes quiet my ocd can’t shut the f up. 😢
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond