What do you do when your fiancé doesn’t truly understand your ocd?

My husband doesn’t really get it either. I don’t know that they can unless they have it too. But the more I open un to him and share what’s going on in my head and why I feel like I need to do my compulsions, the more he understands. For some, I think just education can be a big help. If you read any articles or books on the subject that move you, I’d encourage you to share those resources your significant other. I find that most people can relate in some way even if they don’t have OCD. Most people have quirky things they do like always putting on their left shoe before their right or double checking they did their math right by doing it again. That’s a relatable action/habit that normal ppl do that for us becomes compulsory. The discomfort they experience if they do their right shoes instead of left first or don’t double check their math is like a smaller version of the distress we experience from our obsessions even before we get to our compulsions. And then whereas they can be uncomfortable but let it go, our minds really really struggle to let go of that discomfort and move on. Finding small relatable things like that seems to help people understand our OCD a little bit more. I hope this helps you guys! ?

My husband started coming to therapy with me and it has been so helpful to both of us! My therapist was very supportive in including him in sessions.

So I’m still trying too figure out the answer to that question too??

Wow, that’s a brilliant idea, Ocdjourney! Was it your therapist idea or yours? How many times did he join your sessions?

I asked my therapist during the phone consultation before the first session if she includes spouses/significant others and she said “absolutely I prefer that!” He comes to almost every session, and it is so helpful to both of us. Sometimes he’s really involved in the session but sometimes he is listening mostly. He gets to see and understand what I’m working on and she also helps him with how to best help me when things come up. I was doing so much reassurance seeking and compulsions that involved him, and I knew it was affecting our relationship and hard on him. Now he knows to never reassure me and he’s gotten to know how to identify when my OCD is talking vs. when I’m talking! So it has really helped our relationship. He even named my OCD “Bernice” ? and will tell me “that’s Bernice” I’m not going to answer her!” It has helped me to externalize it as well because I used to feel SO guilty and frustrated when OCD obsessions flared up because I knew it was stressful for him and affected him. I also have a lot of relationship ocd obsessions so he now knows that’s “Bernice” talking if they come up and doesn’t even acknowledge them.

That sounds really helpful for the both of you? It sounds like my sessions with my therapist.. the only difference is that he doesn’t include spouses.. but we found a way through it; So now I’m a living function carrier pigeon?