Well my morning started off with the question “am I emotionally connected with my boyfriend?” It’s making me feel nervous and anxious. I’m scared again. I feel like I’m passed the whole “sexual attraction” thing. Now I’m just worried if I don’t connect with the opposite sex. My boyfriend is my best friend. We laugh together, we tell each other everything, we support each other. But I’m So scared. What if I don’t love him like I thought I did? I just now read articles on this stuff. “Signs you’re attached to your partner but not love them” , “signs you’re emotionally connected” , and all theses different ones. I hate this, why can I just be happy. Seriously, I can’t believe this Is happening to me. Can anyone give me any advice? Please.

OCD is a doubting disease, where it makes you doubt a lot of things but they are just the OCD talking. If you guys tell each other everything, laugh together and support each other I think you do love him. OCD makes us doubt things

Of course, I read once that sometimes people with OCD don't stick with things out of fear, I know it's tough but try not to second guess, my aunt told me to enjoy things in the moment.

I struggle with the same thing. I have been working on ERP with a therapist. It has helped tremendously. It’s really hard at first and can be extremely upsetting/uncomfortable, but it helps. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. He’s the only person I have never felt the need to run from. He’s my best friend, too. I had a really bad panic attack a few months ago and that is when it all started. I began doubting that I didn’t actually love him or that I may end up cheating on him. The ironic thing of it all is that he is the only one that can help me feel better. I still have moments of doubt, but learning to let the thoughts pass and not fight them has helped a lot. Not seeking reassurance is probably one of the hardest aspects of it all too.

Isn’t it weird how one thought can trigger another and continue down a rabbit hole of self doubt? I highly recommend seeing someone though. It’s definitely beneficial. I’ve ready plent of self help books that have helped. One was on intrusive thoughts and how to deal with them and another called “The OCD Workbook”. It also had a lot of good information and techniques on what to do. I hope you can find something that helps. It’s a struggle for sure, but know others have similar fears/struggles is comforting my in a way. It’s nice to know you aren’t alone.

Yes it is weird, I hate it I wish I never thought about certain things. But thank you, I hope you feel better soon!

I have pure-o. I have worried about anything from relationships, sexuality, becoming a murderer/pedophile, contamination, etc. with pure-o, compulsions are mental, so a lot of seeking reassurance, self-talk, thinking of ways I know those thoughts to be true, things like that. It’s best to see a psychiatrist or psychologist. They are better trained on how to handle OCD and other mental health issues. Psychiatrist can even prescribe medication if that is a route you decide to take for treatment.

Okay thank you

It’s the same with a lot of mental health issues and also physical illnesses , your not necessarily going to get a cure but we all have to find ways to manage our physical and emotional pain

Thank you for replying. I was hoping someone would reply with anything. I hope you’re right. I’ve been doubting so many things. I wish they’d stop. It makes me feel like crap because then I get nervous and anxious.

Yes that’s great advice. I’ve done that before and it helps but sometimes I still feel nervous and can’t help but think of what’s making me that way.

I’m sorry to hear that, it sounds so painful. I keep struggling a lot with hocd and if its not that I’m back to thinking what if I’m not I love with my boyfriend. But I’m trying not to seek reassurance as well it’s very hard.

I have only found out I actually have OCD a few months ago. I started seeing a therapist because I didn’t want my meltdowns to to push my boyfriend away. She told me I have pure-o. I was told long ago it was just GAD. It makes so much sense to me now though. I have struggled with worries about sexuality, contamination, secretly being a pedophile, you name it. Knowing what it is definitely helps to better label the thoughts for what they are. Definitely helps normalize things, so to speak, too.

I haven’t been diagnosed yet but I feel like I might have pure o as well. I hope I do, it first started with thinking my boyfriend would murder me and I didn’t love him because of that it made me so afraid. Then that lead to me thinking is murder my mom and sister. And then thinking I had std and my bf was cheating on me, then hocd. It’s really painful, but what lead to hocd was me thinking what if I don’t love my boyfriend, why don’t I feel happy enough, am I really happy? And so on.

Can someone help me ? I’m not diagnosed but I’m 110% sure I suffer with OCD

Carly1995 you should definitely see someone to get a diagnosis. Therapists can be a huge help in dealing with OCD. They can teach you ways to allow the thoughts to pass as well as combat your compulsions and manage anxiety.

Can I go and see my GP? What types of OCD do you suffer with?

Woah, self talk? Do you mean like talking to yourself trying to find answers or prove yourself wrong of the thoughts you’re having? And when you say thinking of ways you know the thoughts to be true do you mean like finding evidence that they could be true?

Sorry, I meant thinking of ways for them not to be true. Basically contradicting the thoughts. That’s exactly what you shouldn’t do. It only worsens the anxiety and reinforces the ocd. Same with the self talk that I do. With that, I try to find answers over analyze, etc. here is a really great book that can help. It’s not super long and doesn’t cost a lot either. http://a.co/5iaigN9

Ohh with me I look keep thinking of evidence that can make the thoughts true. Which terrifies me. For example I keep thinking of being lesbian. And I keep thinking of early childhood evidence that can make it true. Is that normal?

I do the same thing sometimes too. I usually try to contradict things. Either way, it’s only reinforcing the thought. That book I shared above better explains it.

Hi guys sorry to but in , I keep hearing the term sexual orientation OCD , but I don’t really understand it . but I’m happy to share experiences since I’m a lesbian myself and struggled with my feelings

I fear that I’m lesbian, I have been dealing with this for 4 months now. It all started when I noticed I kept looking at girls. But I never had any crushes on girls or wanted anything sexual. Also because I have a boyfriend and I questioned what if I’m lesbian, all because I thought I wasn’t happy. I enjoy sexual acts with him. So I don’t understand why I keep thinking I’m lesbian.

In my personal experience when I first started wondering if I was a lesbian it was because I never enjoyed sexual acts with a guy or could never form a true connection with a guy. And my sexual attraction was solely for women as I always had thoughts about ripping their clothes off . Looking at a girl is absolutely nothing to worry about , just because you appreciate a pretty girl doesn’t mean you fancy them or want to be with them. The fact you enjoy sexual acts and are in a happy relationship with a guy would probably rule out being a lesbian all together.

Ohh okay thank you, but if I’m Being completely honest. My childhood worries me. Or the fact that looking at a picture of a women in a bikini could turn me on. But I read that’s kind of normal with all women. It scares me to death (no disrespect) since I was a kid I crushed on boys and I get aroused by my boyfriend. I never fantasized about a girl in my life nor do I think I crushed on them. Can you please tell me if I could be lesbian maybe? I also stress about the fact if I have an emotional connection with my Boyfriend. It worries me. He means a lot to me, and he’s my first serious relationship. Idk if this makes a difference but I’m only 15.

The first time I knew I was lesbian tbh was probably at the same age you are now, when I was at drama class and there was a really cute girl , I just found myself looking and getting butterflies , looking forward to my next class just to be able to watch her again. In my personal opinion it doesn’t seem like you feel strongly enough about a particularly women to be a lesbian, although you are noticing women more I believe you would have identified one person in particular that catches your eye or that you can’t stop thinking about

Okay so you think I would have a crush on a by now right? I’m sorry I’m just so desperate to know if I am or can be. But no I can’t think of anyone is particular. I have several friends that are girls and they are all kind but that’s kind of it. Any other signs you can help my out on?

I would personally keep an eye on it , if this becomes a persistent thing where you are thinking about a specific person or it gets to the point you look forward to seeing a particularly girl and start to develop butterflies or become sexually attracted I would start to think about it a lot more . Remember being a lesbian is not a choice and even if you are a lesbian there is nothing you can do about it . I can promise you that no matter how hard you try , you can run but you can’t hide from your true feelings.

Okay thank you for the advice. If I did could I possibly be bi?

Because the way you describe how you felt about girls I feel about guys. Getting excited to see them and all that

I would definitely say you would be more likely to be a bisexual than be a lesbian. Because if you were a lesbian you wouldn’t have the strong feelings you have for your boyfriend and you would be able to be sexual towards him

Wouldn’t *

It’s likely more that it is just the OCD. Especially if worrying about it takes up the majority of your day. Googling things and researching stuff is a compulsion because you are seeking reassurances. Yes it is common for women to get turned on by other women without being lesbian, but if you are not developing true feelings for someone like Carly1995 said, it’s just an obsessive thought that you will need to learn to accept as just that. A lot of people struggle with similar thoughts. You will figure it all out. Seeing someone can help you figure out if it is truly who you are, or if it’s just a thought/worry. I hope you can feel better soon!

Remember the only reason I knew for a fact I was a lesbian is because I physically couldn’t have sex with a guy & I was unable to make any kind of connection with a guy other than friends

So I wouldn’t feel aroused during sexual acts and stuff right? You never liked sound that with men? I’m so sorry you don’t need to answer that question.

Thank you both!

That’s right , you wouldn’t be a lesbian if you are enjoying sex and have a genuine connection beyond friend level with a guy

The connection thing I worry about now, I mean I enjoy being with my boyfriend, I care about him, and we’re close. But how do I know for sure if there’s a connection..could this just be ocd as well

It’s probably the OCD. I worry about the same thing. OCD does not like uncertainty. Love and connection are harder to physically prove and therefore are more uncertain.

Oh god, I hate these feelings. I wish I was just certain about everything and didn’t have to question and obsess.

Trust me. I 100% understand. Seeing a therapist and reading self help books about OCD have really helped me. I also decided to take medication as part of my treatment. I have definitely noticed a difference. There is nothing wrong with getting help. You will thank yourself for it. It will help you not have those feelings of fear/anxiety/guilt. Unfortunately there is no magical cure, but there are things you can do to cope and live with OCD without all the fear and worry.