- Username
- Cami16
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Literally. 100%. Same. I think the best thing to do is talk to your therapist and psychiatrist IMMEDIATELY about this, I think this is one of the worst OCD themes and it really makes everything harder because like, why try to get better if nothing matters in the end? I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts about this by just thinking "who knows whatll happen? not me!" and just letting myself sit in the anxiety every time it flares up. This one is definitely gonna change you more than the other themes. Embrace that change, embrace fear, and just remember that we have to enjoy the time we have
I know everyone thinks their particular theme is “the worst” and really, they’re all awful, but the existential/religious beliefs ocd has been the worst for me and the most difficult to deal with. I’m trying to do CBT/ERP for it, but it hasn’t helped very much. It seems so difficult because, while I can resist the compulsion to wash my hands and eventually my brain will learn that I don’t get sick, I can’t die a little bit so that I stop being afraid of dying. I’m not sure how to deal with this. The ache feels so, so heavy—so acute. But what helps me is that no one knows the answers, and that in my uncertainty, I am joining many other great minds who have come before me. We are small, but that doesn’t change what it feels like to hear the birds singing outside, or to eat pizza, or to laugh with those you love. My hope is that learning to treasure those things can help with the despair.
I think with the fear of death, that's natural, but its how the brain dwells on it like it's solvable or that its "good" or "bad." With ERP, have you watched any videos about death and dying and all that? That was my first exposure because I'm a glutton for punishment and it did help quite a bit. If you want a recommendation, Ask a Mortician on Youtube was a good source for me. I'm not glad this is something so many experience, but I am glad some of us can open up about it.
I’ve tried documentaries about the universe and time and stuff like that and it rlly helped. I watch a lot of murder docs too just because i love forensic science and they seem to keep me off of the topic for the most part. But i’ll try something like that!
I can’t tell if this is existential OCD or if something else is going on, but I’ve been having a serious existential crisis-type episode for the past week. Starting with the realization of my own mortality and an impending sense of doom, hopelessness, pointlessness, and despair, which led me down a path of spirituality (mix of Buddhist and Hindu beliefs). That’s in the realm of “normal” for me, and I was feeling amazing afterwards, I felt like everything finally made sense, like I was at peace with the world, nature, and my soul. But then the intrusive thoughts started(about when I realized technically anything is possible in this seemingly endless universe). At first they were about this whole world being fake, that everyone was in on it except for me, that I was being tested to see if I had learned enough/been a good enough person in this life. Soon realized that this wasn’t logical, since I was going off the idea that nothing was real, but if no one was real they wouldn’t be able to lie to me. Then it transitioned into pure solipsism, which terrified me to the very depths of my soul, at which point I felt suicidal (basically “if nothing is real what’s the point?” Kind of thinking) but after a couple of days of ruminating, I realized the flaws in this logic, as well, and was comfortable in the idea that this was false. Which brings me to now. It’s sort of a mixture of the two, I now have an intrusive thought that there’s some force that created this world to test me, but that no one is “real”, that they have the appearance of being conscious like me, but are being controlled by an outside force, that they’re like robots with the appearance of having a soul, but are just programmed to seem that way, that I’ll not be able to see them again when I die and return to the pool of consciousness since they never existed in the first place. I know in my rational mind this isn’t true, but it just keeps pounding in my head that it’s possible, so I can never assume it isn’t the truth, and it’s making me feel so hopeless. What’s the point if everything is a lie? I feel like my world is crumbling beneath my feet, like I’m drowning. The worst part was that I was fine this morning, but was triggered by an existential question I saw posed online, and wound up back here. I’m terrified that I’m going insane.
Hey guys! Trigger warning because I don’t want anyone to read this and adopt a new intrusive thought! So I’ve been struggling recently with something that seems pretty unique, and I could really use any help I can get with this thought. Basically, a little while back, I all of a sudden had this thought that nothing matters, because at the end of the day, we are all going to die anyways. Since then, any time I start getting really excited or if I start feeling depressed about something, that intrusive thought pops into my head. It tells me that there’s no point in feeling anything deeply because it’s not a big deal and life is short. I know some people might say this is a good way to look at things that stress you out, but it’s really really starting to affect me in the realm of things that make me happy too. I’ll get excited to move in with my bf, and then this thought pops in intrusively and I immediately feel nothing now. I’m struggling to start my schoolwork that I was looking forward to doing well on because this way of thinking tells me it doesn’t even matter to finish my degree and be passionate about it, because I’m just going to die someday and this doesn’t matter. The things that made me excited before, now don’t simply because of this very thought. Not to be dramatic, but this one thought has changed my entire mindset and is literally changing my life. I really really really need help with this. It’s causing me not to feel like I used to, and I’m scared for how the rest of my life will feel now that I’ve adopted this intrusive thought.😢
I’m new here! I just started, and I wanted to ask if anyone has any helpful ways to cope or take your mind off of the intrusive thoughts. I couldn’t sleep last night because of what I’ve been thinking about. (The following could be a trigger for anyone, especially anyone with existential OCD/death OCD) I can’t get my mind off of the inevitability of death and what comes after. I thought talking to my boyfriend this time would help like it usually does, but for some reason it really has a hold on me. I did manage to fall asleep, but the second I woke up, I got the intrusive thoughts again.
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