So i’m new, i’ve had OCD my whole life, but i’m experiencing a new subset that i’ve only really encountered a few times before. I’ve become very fixated on the world ending, even though it won’t happen for another 5 billion years or so. My fear of dying is definitely part of that, even though I will obviously be dead by that point. My main problem is thinking that at some point, the sun will explode and literally destroy everything that i have known. Every atom in my body will be detached from one another and relocated. My world will not exist in the mind of anyone, because there will be no one. It will be quiet. And not only those thoughts, but others regarding how small we are. The universe is apparently infinite and every effort i make to understand it triggers me until i have a complete meltdown. My life does not matter in reference to anything outside of our world. Im having a lot of trouble with pushing these intrusive thoughts away. My stomach drops whenever they come and makes me physically sick and extremely depressed and anxious. I’m in treatment and on medication but I have yet to discuss them with my therapist and psychiatrist because of time issues, though I do have an appointment. Has anyone experienced this too? How can I deal with intrusive thoughts?

My OCD has bounced around to a lot of different topics but my current spiral has been focused on existential dread - I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about my loved ones dying and not existing and about my own death and not existing anymore. OCD is trying to get me to find certainty in what happens after we die… and unfortunately I will NEVER be able to find certainty around this. This spiral started after the death of my beloved cat and then the almost death of my dog a week later. I think OCD attached to this idea that everyone and everything I love is going to die and I need to prepare myself for it and somehow KNOW what happens when someone dies. It’s panic inducing and really hard for me to sit with vs other OCD themes Ive had related to health, moral/hyper responsibility, etc. Anyone have this type of obsession around death of loved ones and how did you combat the intrusive thoughts and deal with the mental compulsions (rumination, avoidance, etc)?

I can’t stop thinking about death today. Not like suicide or pondering how I could die. Just more so I’m going to die. It’s like. I was eating my pizza today listening to music and looking at the clouds. And I was like I love this this is amazing. And then Brain says “ur gonna die one day btw” Or I redid my wallpaper on my phone and I love the way it looks. I unlock my screen and admire the vibe I’ve created. And then brain says “one day you’ll be dead” When I feel a moment of joy or happiness or peace is when the thought screams at me. I’m really unsettled and distraught about thinking about being dead one day. This doesn’t come up often like other thoughts I have but I hate this one because it’s hard to cope with. Because I do the things and “techniques” to make them quieter. But then immediately Brain says “why are u even trying tho. It’s pointless because you’ll be dead one day.” Any advice ??

I CAN'T STOP THOUGHTS. I think about meaning of life, time, afterlife and other shit. I can't stop thinking. I cannot distract myself. When my thoughts are the worst I'm thinking about su*cide, and it scares me because I'm not suicidal and I don't want to die. But what if I do something with myself? Please I want any advice what to do, I can't afford therapy at the moment