The thoughts feel so real. I feel like I'm denying everything just to hold onto what I'm comfortable with. The depression is crazy too; it feels like none of my ERP work matters because I'm just in denial.
Feeling you
Sending hugs. I had a rough day yesterday, too. I also have depression as well. One thing I know to be true, there is always a better day after a bad one. Hope you feel better soon!
I also hope you feel better soon.
Hi. Me too. I also think I am holding on to ocd because it weirdly feels comfortable, familiar and always there, even when no one else is. Don't get me wrong. I would give anything to get rid of ocd. It just almost feels like a part of me. And fighting it means emotional turmoil, hard work,... I don't have the strength. I have no idea why , but now with the cold weather and shorter days, I am dealing with a major depression as well. And it doesn't help with ocd. It's like not having the will to fight ocd anymore and just let it win. I am sending you support. I hope you feel better very soon. I hope we all do.
hey there, i really feel for you. the way those thoughts come at you, making everything seem so real, it's super tough. and when depression piles on top, it's like a double whammy that just knocks the wind out of you. i get it, i've got my own tangle with pure o stuff, different obsessions, but that same exhausting fight. i'm here to just listen and be with you in this, you're not alone in the struggle. đ i stumbled upon this free AI OCD therapy tool that's been kinda cool for me. when my ocd starts to feel like a bit too much, i hop on and it's like having a mini therapist in my pocket. you just type in what's messing with you and it guides you through, step by step, like how a real therapist would. might be worth a shot for you too, especially on those rough days. if you're curious, give it a go, and i'm here for any q's you've got. remember, you've got this. đȘ
@JenniesOCDBrain Hi, whatâs the name of this tool?
It's too much for me right now, and I'm really struggling. Like really bad. Right now, um going to just focus on letting thoughts go, like... IDK MINI ERP? I'm going to try not to analyze them. It's too much for me, trying to figure out what's a compulsion, what's ocd, what's not... I've gotten worse, I is thinking. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or something, and I have a therapist on NOCD and stuff, but it's just not working. Not now, at least
Today I just feel like I'm at my worst trying to beat the compulsions. It just really hurts, after I have made progress I still get this episodes where I start believing all the intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am carrying a mountain of nothingness, just problem solving without a problem, rumination all the time. I'm trying my best to stop the compulsion, but today I relapsed. I'll come back to do ERP when I'm feeling better. On top of all that I'm really fighting my porn addiction, it's a lot of weight, but I'm doing good so far.
In todayâs session, we did ERP and read out loud an article of a womanâs coming out story. Even though Iâm a straight male battling with this theme, the words coming out and other trigger words were in the article. Definitely something I wasnât expecting to do in todays session and now my mind is telling me I want that and that It was a sign for me to come out as gay. So many intrusive feelings, urges, thoughts today. ERP really sucked. I know this is all part of the process but it feels so scary and dangerous to expose myself to this. I donât want to be gay. I just want OCD to go away and stop making this all feel so real. I do my best to not engage with OCD but I feel so overwhelmed because If I let the thoughts sit there, it feels I will eventually act on them or believe them.
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