- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
When you feel like you wanna break it off give it the "3 day rule". Wait 3 days and generally you feel completely different. I almost broke off my relationship right after I proposed, but luckily she understood anxiety, and held on while I took some time to get my mind in control, and I've never been happier with anyone.
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s really great advice! I’ll bare that in mind- thanks :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Firstly I’m just going to say that it’s normal to be irritated by someone on holiday! :) Secondly, the change of scenery may be good for you. The sunshine and relaxed atmosphere can make your mental health 10000x better. Which can then lead to you being more positive about your relationship x
- Date posted
- 5y
Really? Seems to be a pattern for me. And I am really hoping so. I won’t be able to google or anything & I’ll be relying on him a lot so hopefully it’ll help a bit. Thank you x
- Date posted
- 5y
This may be a form of checking. I do this too and it scares the shit out of me. Because then I question why I would even think that. I think it's just another layer of OCD. It wants to stay alive and every time I make progress my brain adds another layer. I recently read a blog from a leading relationship anxiety therapist. Her perspective is that ROCD is really a projection of your doubts about yourself into your SO. She said love is not about the feelings you get or what you are getting from the relationship, it's about what you give. Your love is an action.
- Date posted
- 5y
Can I ask what the blog was? I’d be interested to read. That also makes a lot of sense to be fair. The way I’m feeling at the moment (unhappy, doubt, negative) is really affecting my relationship and I’m finding it hard to accept this as OCD because I’m not anxious. It does feel like I get my head around one way OCD comes at me so it tries a new tactic- does that make sense?
- Date posted
- 5y
https://conscious-transitions.com. I get it, I have very similar issues. ROCD is so difficult because when we do feel like we're making headway another scary thought will come up. For me, a lot of my OCD revolves around the anticipation of feeling anxious. Your stomach dropping when you have your thoughts is anxiety. It's not a feeling. I think my OCD is fighting right now because I have made a choice to really do the opposite. I'm going to love harder. I'm going to give so much love and now worry about what I get back. I KNOW deep inside what my husband means to me. I can withstand any type of anxiety just to be with him
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you, I’ll read that now! And I get that. You’re super brave to take this on and your outlook on it is really great! I’m struggling because 2 months ago I was ridiculously anxious but knew my feelings for my partner were strong (I loved him and wanted to make it work) but now I just don’t have those strong fighting feelings. I know I care and I really do want to make it work but that determination has gone which makes me worry too.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
- Date posted
- 22w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 14w
Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond