- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y ago
When you feel like you wanna break it off give it the "3 day rule". Wait 3 days and generally you feel completely different. I almost broke off my relationship right after I proposed, but luckily she understood anxiety, and held on while I took some time to get my mind in control, and I've never been happier with anyone.
That’s really great advice! I’ll bare that in mind- thanks :)
Firstly I’m just going to say that it’s normal to be irritated by someone on holiday! :) Secondly, the change of scenery may be good for you. The sunshine and relaxed atmosphere can make your mental health 10000x better. Which can then lead to you being more positive about your relationship x
Really? Seems to be a pattern for me. And I am really hoping so. I won’t be able to google or anything & I’ll be relying on him a lot so hopefully it’ll help a bit. Thank you x
This may be a form of checking. I do this too and it scares the shit out of me. Because then I question why I would even think that. I think it's just another layer of OCD. It wants to stay alive and every time I make progress my brain adds another layer. I recently read a blog from a leading relationship anxiety therapist. Her perspective is that ROCD is really a projection of your doubts about yourself into your SO. She said love is not about the feelings you get or what you are getting from the relationship, it's about what you give. Your love is an action.
Can I ask what the blog was? I’d be interested to read. That also makes a lot of sense to be fair. The way I’m feeling at the moment (unhappy, doubt, negative) is really affecting my relationship and I’m finding it hard to accept this as OCD because I’m not anxious. It does feel like I get my head around one way OCD comes at me so it tries a new tactic- does that make sense?
https://conscious-transitions.com. I get it, I have very similar issues. ROCD is so difficult because when we do feel like we're making headway another scary thought will come up. For me, a lot of my OCD revolves around the anticipation of feeling anxious. Your stomach dropping when you have your thoughts is anxiety. It's not a feeling. I think my OCD is fighting right now because I have made a choice to really do the opposite. I'm going to love harder. I'm going to give so much love and now worry about what I get back. I KNOW deep inside what my husband means to me. I can withstand any type of anxiety just to be with him
Thank you, I’ll read that now! And I get that. You’re super brave to take this on and your outlook on it is really great! I’m struggling because 2 months ago I was ridiculously anxious but knew my feelings for my partner were strong (I loved him and wanted to make it work) but now I just don’t have those strong fighting feelings. I know I care and I really do want to make it work but that determination has gone which makes me worry too.
No ‘what ifs’ anymore- just direct statements sometimes ‘you don’t love him’ sometimes ‘I don’t want to be with him’. I can’t see any hope of feeling better- I don’t even know if this is OCD. This isn’t how love is supposed to feel- how do I know if my partner just isn’t the one? I did have really intense anxiety but could still feel that love and desire to be with my SO but now- it seems to be fading away. No more anxiety, intrusive thoughts feel a bit muddled up rather than loud, aggressive, specific thoughts. Help :(
Going away today with my boyfriend for our anniversary, PLEASE someone tell me how I can calm down my ROCD thoughts and not ruin the holiday? I JUST WANT TO FEEL LIKE I LOVE HIM ?
I've been in a relationship for a couple of months now with a really sweet guy. He's always supportive when it comes to everything I'm involved in. He compliments me regularly. He's got a lot of very happy energy. Nothing is wrong with our relationship, except for me. For the past week or two, I've been experiencing negative feelings and intrusive thoughts at random times, even if I haven't spoken to him around the time that they come up. Everything was great and then all of a sudden they hit me and it's hard to shake them. They're thoughts like "you should break up with him", "do you even really love him", and similar thoughts to that. I've been trying to change course with my thoughts and I think it's working a bit because now it's mostly just the feeling that comes about rather than the thought. It just leaves me feeling less than great, and it's hard to know if I'm actually starting to agree with my thoughts or if I'm just being lured in and deceived because I know that ROCD can do that. It's hard to shake those feelings, and usually they go away when I talk to him, but sometimes I'm so caught up in it that I can't get rid of it, even while we're on the phone. I love him and don't want to break up, I just don't know how to ease the negativity. Why are they coming around now?
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