Username: DeeDoo

Date posted: 1y ago

Feeling unwanted and disliked

Does anyone else constantly question whether or not the people in their lives genuinely like them? Like worrying that when you ask if you've bothered them it only annoys them more? Like either they're lying to you and really do hate you or talk behind your back? Or are just too nice to point out your flaws becayse they don't want to hurt your feelings and tell you what they really think about you? Like even when you're invited to things you just feel unwanted and that you may have been a pity invite? Like I always feel like I've done something to bother or upset everyone I interact with and these things add up and they slowly start to resent me as time goes on. Does anyone else feel this way? Like to the point where you just avoid interacting with people as much as possible so you're not reminded of the possibility that they may not even like you or are just simply tolerating you because they don't want to be mean? Any advice on how to stop feeling this way?

Username: cameron:)cameron:)

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel this way all the time and I think it’s important to learn how to trust the people in our lives. If you are continually doubting them and asking for reassurance your OCD will only make you feel more hopeless. I would try to learn to like yourself and be kinder to yourself as well as trust that the people you love are good people. When I feel this way I try and change my thought process whether that be distracting myself or changing my environment or thinking about the nice things people have said to me.

Username: DeeDooDeeDoo

Date posted: 1y ago

@cameron:) Yeah I get what you're saying but it's not that I don't trust them or think they're good people, it's that I think I'm a bad person and that they're too kind to tell me the truth. I'll try to think about myself more positively but it's hard, I can't really change my environment and distractions only last so long. I really do feel so hopeless and I just can't get myself to really like me and see myself as a good person like the other people in my life. I wish I viewed myself the way I viewed others but I can't because I know myself too well to think that I'm a good person, because I'm really not. I don't know it's just hard, I don't deserve to be kind to myself because I'm not worthy of kindness, I'm not a good person so I just wish people were honest about it rather than sugarcoating it. Sorry I got a bit off track but I get what you're saying and I'll try to be better, thank you for the advice! ❤️

Username: DeeDooDeeDoo

Date posted: 1y ago

@cameron:) I'm sorry you feel the same way, I hope you can come to a place where you love yourself the way others love you ❤️

Username: cameron:)cameron:)

Date posted: 1y ago

@DeeDoo Thank you so much and I want to say that you are also worthy of kindness. You are just dealing with some difficult things but that doesn’t mean you deserve cruelty. Also (I think I didn’t explain this well enough) when I say like “trust the people in your life” I mean that you have to trust that they like you just as much as you like them. A big part of maintaining relationships is trusting that the other person isn’t lying to you which includes pitying and whatnot. Idk if this helps but I love you and I hope you find it in yourself to love you too.

Username: DeeDooDeeDoo

Date posted: 1y ago

@cameron:) It does help, I get what you're saying now, it's just hard. Thank you again, I love you too and I wish you nothing but the best 💘

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes I do this very same thing and feel like I don't fit in anywhere. It is a symptom of OCD, seeking reassurance, checking, etc. So the way to react to the internal disturbance that causes us to do compulsions is to separate, not react, allow uncertainty, sit with uncertainty by not responding, response with allowing uncertainty, maybe maybe not, releasing yourself from the responsibility to figure it out, etc. All response tools I've learned in ERP and have been helpful to me. It's not easy, and I'm sorry you go through this too, I know how difficult it can be. You're not alone here, we're here for you. :-)

Username: DeeDooDeeDoo

Date posted: 1y ago

@Someone99 Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone, would you recommend ERP? I haven't been able to receive an OCD treatment outside of medicating because I can't find or afford a specialist nearby.

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@DeeDoo It would probably be helpful to begin with a consultation to be sure it's the right approach for you. If it is OCD then yes I would highly recommend it. In the meantime, I would very much be willing to be a friend, be here whenever you need someone to talk with. I need that too. :-)

Username: DeeDooDeeDoo

Date posted: 1y ago

@Someone99 Thank you ❤️ that would be nice :)

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@DeeDoo You're welcome. I'm always looking for new friends who understand each other. Not many do. 🙂

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@DeeDoo Thanks for the follow! You doing ok today? :-)

Username: DeeDooDeeDoo

Date posted: 51w ago

@Someone99 You're welcome :) I think I've been better this week, how have you been? It's nice to talk to someone who understands

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 51w ago

@DeeDoo Been ok. Christmas was nice, just the usual moments of intrusive thoughts. How was your Christmas?

Username: DeeDooDeeDoo

Date posted: 51w ago

@Someone99 It was alright, I'm glad to hear you had a good Christmas but I'm sorry you still had to experience some intrusive thoughts. How have you been since then?

Username: JenniesOCDBrainJenniesOCDBrain

Date posted: 1y ago

hey, i really get where you're coming from with those constant doubts about how others feel about you. it's super tough feeling like a pity invite or like you're bothering people just by being yourself. those thoughts can be so heavy, and you're definitely not alone in this struggle. 💙 i've totally been there with the questioning and the avoidance, it's rough. what really helped me was this free ai ocd therapy tool called "unstuck" ([www.keepunstuck.com/try](http://www.keepunstuck.com/try)) that my ocd therapist recommended. it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized, step-by-step support that mimics an ocd therapist, guiding you through those tough moments when you're doubting your relationships. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: DeeDooDeeDoo

Date posted: 51w ago

@JenniesOCDBrain Thank you so much, I'm struggling to figure out how to use the app :/

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 51w ago

Thank you. It's a daily walk. I need to notice when I'm falling in to the "obsessive" stage of something. Lately it's been the thought of buying a new car. I have a perfectly fine car that will probably last me 10 more years, yet I feel like I have to get the newest one... So yeah, it's a daily thing. Have a blessed New Year, hopefully you'll be celebrating with loved ones!

Username: Lucywilefire

Date posted: 1y ago

Does everyone hate me

I have really terrible ocd over whether everyone hates me. I had a convo with one of my friends (he was initially interested but we just kind of became friends.) He said guys tend to like girls pics when the girl is pretty. He was initially interested in me. I know i sound really bitchy and superficial but I have really low self worth and the ocd isn't helping and I'm kind of hyperfixatijg on my face. I have this insecurity about being south asian. I've been told fairly often that I'm conventionally attractive and can certainly attract people. I'm also like super introverted and have a pretty odd personality for context like in high school people didn't like me because I wasn't like extremely liberal and people were politically correct I just tend to be odd and I feel like that's not acceptable if you're a girl. So I feel everyone just secretly hates me or I'm ugly and these are the two options.

Username: ninjastone

Date posted: 47w ago

I deal with Obsession (with how I affect others)

Truthfully i am just so exhausted from being obsessed with how I affect others in my life. I am constantly questioning if I make their lives better or worse and why. I'm an extrovert and if it seems like I'm positively affecting people when I socialize, I feel on top of the world. But when I can't improve someone's mood when I talk to them I feel depressed and drained. I have this belief that I am intrinsically awful and harmful to be around and I have to be extra helpful and cheerful to make up for it. I think about the problems that everyone in my life struggles with and convince myself that I am the cause of it or making them worse. I isolate, believing I am harmful to others and I am sparing them. When they feel neglected, I panic because I caused them harm when I was trying to save them. I don't want to live like this anymore. In some ways it was easier when I was alone. I just can't stop obsessing about my loved ones in this way. I almost begin to crave abandonment because at least the thoughts would stop coming. Does that make me a bad person? I don't really actually want to be abandoned by my loved ones, but at least I know how to handle abandonment. I don't know how to handle normal loving relationships.

Username: Magzzz

Date posted: 44w ago

What is wrong with me?

At my workplace, I have these so called “friends” or used to be “friends” that I have tried so hard to be friends with and be there for an all I’ve ever gotten in return is hurt, put down, ignored, left out, and talked down to. There’s a girl I work with and used to be friends with that acts like she’s better than everyone else and gets my other so called friends to believe her lies and she purposely tries to leave me out and makes me an outsider when I used to be there for her but she’s always been mean in return but she makes me out to be the bad guy or the problem. She has even said I’m a problem and that everyone agrees with her. I have quit from this place before but I came back because it was convenient since I’m in college and they work with my schedule. Management won’t do anything about it because of favoritism. I tried to warn my best friend about her and other people but she wouldn’t believe me and before I quit she turned against me just like everyone else. Then when I came back she acts like my best friend again because the girl that treated me like crap gave her the same treatment when I was gone and now the mean girl is I guess trying to get her not to be my friend anymore. I don’t know what to do. These people make me want to give up because I feel like my existence is the problem. That maybe if I left they wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore since they shun me and treat me like I’m the worst person ever. It’s so mentally exhausting and it’s painful because I’m a very overly caring person and I used to be a people pleaser but now that I have kind of gotten more boundaries and protected myself, it got worse. Am I the problem? What is wrong with me? I honestly don’t even know what I ever did to these people. I have an attitude sometimes but it’s because of the way they have treated me and that’s honestly all they have ever said was my issue and I have apologized countless times for the things I’ve done wrong because I have held my self accountable but they haven’t. A couple years ago I liked a guy that started working there but then she started flirting with him when she knew I liked him and now they are dating so that tells you how that went. He was like my best friend and when I tried to warn him about her, he turned against me too. I don’t know what to do anymore. Any time I would speak out against her she would say I’m a problem and that I’m acting like a victim but all I’ve done was try to protect myself from how she’s treated me. I can’t make friends anymore because I’m afraid they are just going to do me like she did. I don’t know if I’m the problem but they make me feel so angry and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know if this even makes any sense but if anyone relates or can help I appreciate it 💔

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Feeling unwanted and disliked

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