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I had the same problem in my last relationship. He touched me while I was sleeping once in the beginning of the relationship and then after that I would get really paranoid sleeping next to him in bed and so one day I started wearing tampons to make sure I knew forbsure if he raped me in my sleep or was it just something I dreamt about. Once he realized what I was doing and he began getting really angry about it because obviously I ruined his plans.

I am going through something similar right now as well, even though I didn’t have too much to drink. OCD will latch onto absolutely any situations that are easy targets for uncertainty. Drinking and sleeping are big ones for me personally, or really any time I don’t think I’m giving perfect attention to my surroundings. Sometimes it helps to remind myself that ocd is predictable and it’s not surprising at all that it would take advantage of these opportunities to cause more fear and doubt. It only gets worse when we ruminate, especially in the case of false memory. The more you try to replay a moment in your head to prove the intrusive thoughts aren’t real, the more familiar they will seem, and ocd will try to trick you into believing that if it feels familiar it must be true! You’re definitely not alone in this, just keep trying to move forward and accept that you will never get certainty about anything that happened in the past, and trust that in any given moment you were doing the best you could :)