- Date posted
- 1y
False Memory OCD
my mind telling me i had sex or did anything sexual when i KNOW i didn’t…especially when i’m drinking this is a problem. i wish i could just enjoy a drink with friends or family.
my mind telling me i had sex or did anything sexual when i KNOW i didn’t…especially when i’m drinking this is a problem. i wish i could just enjoy a drink with friends or family.
I had the same problem in my last relationship. He touched me while I was sleeping once in the beginning of the relationship and then after that I would get really paranoid sleeping next to him in bed and so one day I started wearing tampons to make sure I knew forbsure if he raped me in my sleep or was it just something I dreamt about. Once he realized what I was doing and he began getting really angry about it because obviously I ruined his plans.
I am going through something similar right now as well, even though I didn’t have too much to drink. OCD will latch onto absolutely any situations that are easy targets for uncertainty. Drinking and sleeping are big ones for me personally, or really any time I don’t think I’m giving perfect attention to my surroundings. Sometimes it helps to remind myself that ocd is predictable and it’s not surprising at all that it would take advantage of these opportunities to cause more fear and doubt. It only gets worse when we ruminate, especially in the case of false memory. The more you try to replay a moment in your head to prove the intrusive thoughts aren’t real, the more familiar they will seem, and ocd will try to trick you into believing that if it feels familiar it must be true! You’re definitely not alone in this, just keep trying to move forward and accept that you will never get certainty about anything that happened in the past, and trust that in any given moment you were doing the best you could :)
@cr2857 Also, something that helps me is to move forward with my life as I would if my ocd wasn’t a factor. If I didn’t have ocd, I would not be concerned about having a few drinks with my friends and family out of fear that I would lose control and do something bad. You deserve to live your life and do what makes you happy, no matter what ocd tells you :)
Has false memory OCD affected you so badly that you feel that a lot of your memories period are unclear, vague, fuzzy and can’t recall correctly?
First I must say I love children and harming one sickens me. So if you don’t understand pocd please don’t commment. Ive only ever been drunk around children once at a house party , my ocd then convinced me I could’ve assaulted them the next morning as my memory was patchy…I haven’t let this go for YEARS. I didn’t even know what I did? 6 years later I have this whole story, based off an intrusive image I had but still don’t really know what I did? Every waking day of my life I’m trying to figure this out but I’m getting more and more confused. I’ve found clues, coincidences , things I believe could be evidence but isn’t really? I’m mixing in reality and false images….My therapists (I’ve had 3) all say this is false memory ocd? But mine feels different? Mine feels worse? Anyway I need a break.
I have false memory ocd and harm ocd and I’ve really lost it this time, I read an article about a girl going missing in my city and I convinced myself I had something to do with it and don’t remember cause I had 1 drink a month ago in the pub with my gf. The girl herself commented saying she wasn’t missing and I became obsessed with checking her page to make sure she was ok, I then blocked her to stop myself getting in the spiral of checking but in a moment of panic I unblocked her and I saw that she liked a video about being blocked so now I think that was in response to me. My gf told keeps telling me I did nothing wrong that night and it’s just my ocd again and I’d remember if anyhting bad happened cause I only had one drink and that girl doesn’t know me so it’s just a coincidence that she liked a video about blocking but I worry about it all day everyday, I just can’t stop checking or trying to find a way to ‘prove’ nothing happened, the more I check the worse it gets, I’ll going to lose my gf if this keeps up, I know she’s getting tired of my ocd, pls help
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond