- Date posted
- 1y ago
Crying
Hiding in the bathroom at work cause I needed to let it out. None of this is ok. Can POCD be mistaken for actual pedophilia? I don’t want to keep doing this I really don’t like living right now.
Hiding in the bathroom at work cause I needed to let it out. None of this is ok. Can POCD be mistaken for actual pedophilia? I don’t want to keep doing this I really don’t like living right now.
If you are AFRAID of the pedophilia, then that means it’s OCD! OCD comes at you with what you don’t want. And if you don’t want it then you’re not actually IT. It will get better!
@TurdFerguson3220 I have no idea if that’s the case anymore. I of course don’t want it but it won’t STOP showing up in my head idk wtf to do anymore except think the worst. I wasn’t always like this but I don’t think that matters anymore.
Repeat the thought out loud to yourself until it loses its luster. It will over time. I know that at least works for me when I’m struggling with my own personal obsessive thoughts. Hope you feel better. Stick with it and you will
Are you engaging in pedophilia now? Are you plotting to engage? If the answers are no, you are probably experiencing one of the most common OCD themes: POCD. This is treatable, but you need to work with a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP therapy. If you don't have one, you can find a good one through NOCD. Their consultations are free and they have contracts with a lot of the leading insurance companies. Hope this helps.
Please keep living. It does get better.
@Anonymous I’ve been dealing with this shit for the last year. What life is there to live when my mind keeps going to places it shouldn’t?
I keep waking up, overwhelmed with anxiety and I feel like an awful person and I don’t know why…? But I feel like it’s because of POCD, I genuinely feel like a bad person because of all of my false attraction experiences, I feel like it’s my fault, I feel like an awful person and I’m spiraling, it’s so hard to look at myself in the mirror, i can’t bare it, I just feel so awful about myself and I don’t know what to do anymore. I genuinely can’t do this anymore.
POCD has been the worst thing I've ever been through. I feel like I have always sort of experienced it but not to the degree I do now. I used to plan being a mother to a beautiful family. Now I don't know if I'll ever have children at the risk of having a girl. I used to have intrusive thoughts that would make me feel weird but I could just move on from them. That was until I had to babysit my niece and change her diaper. I want to throw up thinking about it. I got a horribly strong groinal response and I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand why it was happening. It bothered me all day that day and later on I did the disgusting deed of testing myself. I regret it everyday. It's a horrible compulsion and it haunts me. I tested if I was getting off to the thought of her. And of course there was stimulation because of the groinal response. But I hated doing it. I just felt like I had to be sure. After that and since then I haven't wanted to be around her. I stopped planning being a mother, I stopped watching cute baby videos like I used to enjoy because they trigger disgusting intrusive thoughts. After a while I stopped being intimate with my boyfriend and haven't done anything with for months because the thoughts take over and make me feel like I may enjoy the deed more if I was thinking of children. I worry that maybe I do enjoy these thoughts and I'm just denying it. I wish I could be sure. I feel so disgusting and ugly, I've never hated myself this much. It takes over most of my days. I wish I had never changed her diaper. Some times in moments of clarity I am so sure that I'm not a predator, but when I am vulnerable OCD sneaks back in and tells me I enjoy my thoughts and that I should think them. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I have to test. I wish I could stop. It ruins my entire week. I feel like a monster. I want to love my life again. I miss life before this. I feel so hopeless most of the time and I can't imagine a way out. I'm scared to start therapy because what if I found out I am a monster? I can't live like that. I won't. I want to cry and scream. Am I alone in this?
So I was on a hat chat gpt and it said that people who are non-offenders experience distress and anxiety and disgust and depression and they feel ashamed of being a non-offender like WHAT like that's honestly terrifying and I'm so scared because that's how I've been feeling like when I'm out I get anxiety too especially when I see a younger person I always been attracted to MEN my whole life can people turn into monsters and I don't even care if they have problems if there attracted to kids then there sick in the head like don't care like this has been sharing me soo much and the worst part about it is that they said some are in denial or suppress their attractions I'm so done...... I can not do this this is too much I would rather be gone from this earth than find out that I might be one like you have to be kidding me if you're attracted to young people and desire that you're sick and dead to me you're a monster I don't care like its disgusting. for this eole some people are suffering from POCD like me are scared to think about that and I'm terrified.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond