i have my first therapy session on here in a couple of weeks. i was going to wait until i had my first session to stop doing compulsions and stuff but i decided to try erp on my own and see what happens.
Your first like 3-4 appointments you won’t actually be doing exposures yet you’ll just be getting to know your therapist and setting up a hierarchy so feel free to do exposures on your own but be aware you ease into the real difficult ones over time so take it slow. It’s better with a therapist but good that you want to get a jump start on it :)
I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲
So I've been working to address my OCD for about a month now. So far, I haven't been working on it with a therapist and have instead been trying to create my own exposure exercises. The primary obsession I'm working on is the fear that I'm somehow flawed or invalid on a fundamental level. The best way I can describe it it is that its similar to the feeling you get when you have germ OCD and you feel contaminated, except my whole existence and being feels contaminated, so to speak. I've identified a list of triggers, and a list of compulsions (pretty much all mental) that I've noticed myself performing. I started out by doing imaginal exposures and scripts where I'd write out triggering fictional scenarios and read them over and over, combined with mindfulness techniques to focus on my breath and bring myself back to the present when I noticed myself performing compulsions mentally. At first it worked to some extent, but eventually I started to feel like the stories I was writing about this obsession weren't triggering any anxiety anymore or a very low level. So I stopped reading them and focused solely on improving my ability to stay present and identifying compulsions as I perform them, and disengaging. Now, I'm at the point where it seems like my general anxiety levels throughout the day are lower, and the triggers I've identified are producing noticeably less anxiety. But that makes me wonder if somehow I'm just secretly doing mental compulsions without knowing it? Is only a month of rather disorganized and unstructured ERP enough to produce this much improvement? To avoid giving me re-assurance, I'd appreciate if you guys don't directly answer those questions, maybe just provide some possibilities or your own experiences so I can get a better idea of where I'm at. Any info would be appreciated. Thanks!
A few hours ago I had my first ERP session and I am currently feeling nauseous and nervous at the same time. Right after my first exposure I wanted to quit right then and there, but I know I cannot. Does anyone have any tips for sitting with this level of discomfort? Anything is appreciated. Thanks! :-)
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