- Date posted
- 5y ago
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I'm not a doctor, nurse or therapist but it definitely sounds like OCD to me. I have been diagnosed and I'm going through the same thing right now. It's absolutely terrifying and it takes over your entire life. Please don't be afraid to tell a therapist! They've heard all of this and more before. Please see a therapist as soon as you can. Even talking about it will help. I'm here for you if I can help!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m not a therapist , but what you’re describing is completely consistent with OCD. It’s great that you plan to go to a therapist , that shows that you recognize that this isn’t fair to you and that you deserve to have a life devoid of this constant stress , and even more , that you realize something is going on here. You say that you think you lack a moral compass and I actually disagree completely. If you didn’t have a moral compass , you wouldn’t be feeling guilt right now and you wouldn’t be ruminating about the past ! That’s the opposite of missing a moral compass. You clearly have morals and care very much about the kind of person you are , more so than the average person. While it’s great to care about the person you are , it’s fine not to worry about what you’ve said and done in the past. We all say things we aren’t proud of from time to time , and some amazing people have said and done some horrible things. And many amazing people have very likely had horrible thoughts too , just like anyone. Bad people don’t usually worry about the effects of what they say are on others , they worry about how what they said will impact them. That’s clearly not the case here
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m not qualified but I know that the key for having a diagnosis is that whatever it is has to really interfere with your life. You’re usually so anxious about —— that you constantly think about it. I suggest reading a book called break free from ocd, it’s really good. It also has an OCI which is a kind of diagnosis professionals give to you. Can you message over here?? Bc I could send a pic over if you would like :)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you for your insights! And yes, I would appreciate you sending the pic!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m happy to but I have no clue how?? Can you somehow private message on here, I’m kinda new to the app
- Date posted
- 5y ago
To be honest, I don’t know if there is a private messaging feature here! At least I couldn’t find one!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w ago
I'm reaching out in hopes of finding others who might relate to my experiences or offer insights. I'm dealing with a complex interplay of OCD, depression, and existential anxiety, and I'm struggling to make sense of it all. Here's what I'm experiencing: I have OCD with various manifestations, along with episodes of depression. I find myself in a cyclical pattern where, after a few weeks, I start to remind myself about my depressive tendencies. This reminder seems to trigger a cycle that actually makes me feel more depressed or at least more aware of depressive symptoms. When this happens, I often experience feelings of nihilism and existential dread. I try to think about my family - my two young boys and my wife - to find motivation or a sense of purpose, but this strategy often backfires, making me feel even more anxious and depressed. I constantly check my feelings, wondering if they're depressive or anxious. At the same time, I fear that my feelings of anxiety and panic might spiral out of control. I think about my emotions and thoughts on a meta-level, which means I'm not just experiencing feelings, but I'm also constantly analyzing the fact that I'm experiencing them. There's an existential component to my struggles, a fear of depression and anxiety itself, and a sense that this might be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps most frustratingly, I often have feelings, thoughts, or sensory experiences that I can't explain or put into words. I feel like I've never heard of these before, which leaves me feeling deeply misunderstood. Does anyone else experience something similar? How do you cope with this complex web of symptoms and experiences? I'm particularly interested in hearing from those who've found ways to break the cycle of meta-cognition and self-fulfilling anxiety. Any insights, shared experiences, or strategies would be deeply appreciated. Thank you for your time and understanding.
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I’ve said and done so many hurtful things growing up, especially in elementary and middle school. I was very passive aggressive and mean for a majority of my life, and I’ve hurt peoples feelings. I’m no longer like that now, but every single thing I’ve ever done wrong replays in my head constantly, from the moment I wake up to the second I go to sleep. I know I deserve to feel the chronic guilt and shame, so I feel even more guilty pitying myself. It’s eating me alive, I’m so scared. I know people must hate me, and they have every right to. feel like I don’t deserve to have moments of happiness because I’ve taken that ability away from someone before. I’m not diagnosed, but this has been going on for years and I’m scared to talk to anyone about it because I fear they would look at me differently knowing I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. I feel like a monster. It’s ruining my life and I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
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