Pocd

I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... someone told me she sounded like a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our conversation... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

https://res.cloudinary.com/nocdcloud/image/upload/v1708188541/community_ios_image._hqaam4.jpg

https://res.cloudinary.com/nocdcloud/image/upload/v1708188542/community_ios_image._xsihh6.jpg

Username: freshpandafreshpanda

Date posted: 45w ago

Hi bro! ☺️ i think your seeking reassurance that isn’t gonna help at all, i see you post a lot about the same thing here so ima give you some advice. First off, when someone is roleplaying like that they tend to sound younger because roleplauing is sort of seen as a more immature thing to do especially when it’s like that. Second of all, this seems like OCD latching onto something to take over you. I think you asking for so much advice is definitely a compulsion and you need to start listening when people reply telling you reassurance isn’t gonna help you AT ALL. It just gonna make the anxiety worse. Take a deep breath and remember that what happened happened, regardless of whether you did what your ocd tells you, it’s the past and you cannot change that, so worrying about it has no use. Third of all, there’s no way to know if she was a teenager nobody here knows if she was or wasn’t but it’s kinda unlikely she was. Spelling mistakes happen anyway, teenager or not. Also, i recommend not doing those role play things on discord or even using discord too much, it sort of separates you from the real world and isn’t healthy mentally. Try going outside, for a walk in nature, meditating etc. but it will only get better if you make the effort. Accept the uncertainty, resist the compulsion for reassurance and live your life. Don’t let this consume you. Ima be wishing you the best, lmk if you need any help 🫶💖

Username: GivenupGivenup

Date posted: 45w ago

@soulflower🐢 I feel so alone...

Username: freshpandafreshpanda

Date posted: 45w ago

@Givenup I know, it’s so hard i get it completely. But there is always hope. I’m here for you bro, and life goes on. One (possible) mistake does not and will not define you. Please don’t beat urself up about it anymore. Easier said than done i know. And if you can, pls find a therapist specializing in OCD. You can come vent to me whenever and I’ll be here! 💖

Username: GivenupGivenup

Date posted: 45w ago

@soulflower🐢 Ik your not trying to give me reassurance, but the possibility of my intrusive thoughts being true just absolutely triggers the hell out of me... and people telling me "its not your fault" or "you made a mistake" makes my pocd go "YOU SEE?! THEY THINK SHE WAS A TEEN!" And it tries to confirm my fears as a fact... 😞😭😭

Username: GivenupGivenup

Date posted: 45w ago

@soulflower🐢 The thought of "unknowingly explicitly chatting with a minor" makes me gag and nearly puke everyday...

Username: freshpandafreshpanda

Date posted: 45w ago

@Givenup Ohhh i’m sorry if i triggered you, if it helps I personally don’t think she was a teen? The fact the idea of it makes you physically ill shows that it very much goes against your values and what you stand for, so please don’t worry too much.. ocd is like this, it makes uncertainty absolutely unbearable. 🫶

Username: GivenupGivenup

Date posted: 20w ago

@freshpanda Hey, hows it been? i just wanted to ask because its been a while and I wanted to check the progress of your recovery

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 45w ago

I think what soulflower said is completely true. I know it's so hard not to ask for reassurance. But I'm also learning that when I ask, it's not helping me. I get relief for about an hour and then it comes back and feels stronger. I see you posting on here every day and I understand. I don't think she was a minor. I think talking to a professional about this might help you. I understand.

Username: Pink Elephan...

Date posted: 3y ago

POCD,+18 please, need of help I keep thinking abt when I was like 17 I used to go on amino to roleplay ships I like,and I'm freaked out now over it because even though I never did sexual rp before I still did rp that was in a romantic setting and I'm worried if anyone I ever roleplayed with was massively younger than me and I just didn't care or didn't put in effort to notice. I have a memory of doing a short roleplay with someone and feeling uncomfortable about it and i don't know if it was because I just felt shy or they were young and I was uncomfortable but doing it anyways. A long while back I went to the amino again and checked all my followers and tried to find who I roleplayed with going off of what I remembered their pfp being and the one I thought seemed most similiar was someone who was 20 and all the rest didn't list their age but im worried what if they unfollowed me and did say their age. It all makes me freaked out because there was this thing where a 20 something dude said it was OK he roleplayed nsfw w minors because he didn't want to seem rude by saying no when they suggested it and I don't want to be as bad as that guy is and i never did anything sexual but I'm still scared it's just as bad if it's roleplaying a romantic relationship and I had that memory of feeling uncomfortable but not wanting to seem rude by not interacting. I dont know if it's a false memory or not and idk if it is. I just know when I was spiraling and checking all my social media I deleted a chat w a ship rp w/o checking and I've been freaked since.

POCD

Username: Eileen03

Date posted: 24w ago

Pocd

18+ . . . I have a past event when I was about 19/20 where I found a girl who came up to me on Roblox attractive and I feel so awful about It I think I didn’t know the age of the user but I’m scared that if I did know that they were underage I wouldn’t care and would keep having these thoughts and feelings at the time I also said hi to them so I’m worried that means i acted on my thoughts

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