When I look at my bf, I find him very cute etc but sometimes I dont feel anything… which I know is normal because you cant feel everything at every moment in your life… but the thing is everytime I think about us breaking up or him disappearing from my life, I feel like hes the “last” guy im ever gonna be with and then I’ll only be with women. Like whatttt?!?!? Whyyy?!
I have SO-OCD and because i have been single for a long time and i listen to what people think about me i thought that I should have settled to be with a woman and that isn't what I want. I know that I am straight and that I want a bf but in due time. Anyway, if you know you are straight and confident with that then when a thought like that surfaces tell the truth and just sit with the thought that shows the thought that you acknowledge its presence but you aren't bothered as you know the truth. I have been doing that and it helps. My mind likes to try and say some out-of-pocket stuff that simply is further from the truth. Just acknowledge and ignore
OCD knows it bothers you so it puts that specific thought in your head! I get the same thoughts!! Live with the uncertainty of not knowing what the future could hold and focus on the present- you know how you truly feel about your bf.
Feels like I’m gonna have this for as long as I’m dating my boyfriend…. Feels like I wouldn’t have this problem if we broke up and I would be “free”. It just is hard because I’ve had these thoughts everyday for the duration of our relationship and even some months before that. So I’m not sure how our relationship is supposed to feel tbh. The thing that scares me is I feel like I’ve never been fully aware of my sexuality. I mean in high school I used to be sure I think? But in college something changed with me and I felt unsure then. Now I just feel like I don’t even know. Anyone else has been struggling with this since they got with their boyfriend ?? Or has everyone been super sure of their sexuality beforehand and then these thoughts came?
I feel my heart break when I think of losing my bf, I still feel a small part of me want him but now everything is pointing me just being lesbian. I’m convinced now that I only like being w him because of the male attention😭thinking of being lesbian and being w women doesn’t feel like desire at all like how lesbians describe it, but it feels so real and part of me just wants to give up and break up with him and just give in to this :( I get a lot of anxiety now thinking about being w men and feels like there’s no other way to explain this. I know it’s seeking for reassurance but it feels so hard to bring myself back from this to even say “maybe maybe not”. I just need some advice :(
Has anyone been with their partner for more than 5 years? What kind of love do you feel towards them? I have been with my bf fo 6 years! before getting with him I never labled myself and considered that when I'll find love I'll know... and when I started dating my bf its because 1) he was my best friend first 2)he was so sweet and considerate and 3) he was like perfect (met all my expectations) but I always felt like something was missing and I'm scared that it is an "ick" situation and that its the feeling gay people feel when they're in heterosexual relationship. I dont want to be with him just because he's perfect on paper and my parents love him and I got used to him, I want to be with him because I love him for him and choose him. I've always been a believer of true love and accepting yourself etc etc... and yet I feel like I'm the one who's not accepting myself? Like it feels like im in a movie or a serie and Im the closeted character who's not happy with her life and needs to come out to have a happily ever after??? and yet I feel good with my bf, he's my home and I really like touching him and being intimate with him... I'm just so lost... my therapist diagnosed me with SOOCD 4 years ago but im not so sure about that... and my bf said to me "if you only liked girls and didnt like guys, believe me I would've noticed at some point during the past 6 years". But again sometimes when people love watching a rom-com movie and project themself with the guy it feels like I cant do that..... and I used to love rom-coms between a guy and a girl but it feels like im seeking more LGBTQ+ stories now? My therapist said that it was a complusion to make myself feel better if it were ever true but I dont know... ugh anyone else going through this?
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