- Date posted
- 1y
Nothing ever gets better
Had enough, it’s just one worry after another other how do I stop the constant worry’s in my mind. I just want to be happy and free
Had enough, it’s just one worry after another other how do I stop the constant worry’s in my mind. I just want to be happy and free
You and me both.
@Malisimo There has to be something we are doing wrong I’m 38 now I’ve spent all my life like this don’t want to spend the next 30 years or so doing the same thing
@Chris85Floki If I can add something here, I had untreated OCD for 35+ years (I’m 64 now🫤). I thought recovery would mean no worries, no worried feelings, fear, etc. it doesn’t work that way. I consider myself recovered, my life is so much better, bigger, more exciting and fulfilling than I ever dreamed possible. However, everyday I make the choice how I’m going to respond to my thoughts. Some days are better than others, thoughts, emotions, urges come, but what I’ve learned is non-engagement, following my values, gives me clarity, the intrusive thoughts quickly pass.
@Chris85Floki I ask this question everyday, what am I doing wrong. I’ve been through a ton of therapy and it sorta works. Unfortunately pure o just seems like endless work to overcome. It’s like you have to become unafraid of anything to beat it.
@VGH Hi, what would your number 1 tip be for me to do right now
Something that made a difference in my recovery-having a “bring it on attitude”. Instead of being upset every time another worry popped up (I get it, OCD is relentless) I practiced an attitude of “nope, not going there!” I worked very hard on deciding how I would spend my time, since I was going to do my best to stop “worrying” (directing my attention to what I feared might happen). Whenever an intrusive thought popped in my head, I practiced this attitude of “not this time” and redirected to my values. It takes time and practice, but you can do it❤️
@VGH I’ve tried that but after a week I get so tired and weak of keeping on top of it :(
@Chris85Floki I’m sorry, but I guess what I’m trying to say is keep fighting for your recovery, explore the resources here at NOCD. Also the IOCDF has some wonderful resources. Your life is worth the effort, it truly can get better.
I’m 36 and I feel the same way. I thought by now I would be past this but it’s only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older.
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
will i ever be free or is this all there is for the rest of my life
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
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