- Date posted
- 1y ago
Very sad/cry feelings comes with suicidal ocd??
Is this normal??? I can’t handle it… makes me so sad i want to cry.. and then i definetly feel my sucidal thoughts are true??
Is this normal??? I can’t handle it… makes me so sad i want to cry.. and then i definetly feel my sucidal thoughts are true??
I also have socd and I understand. It's extremely debilitating. It's important to understand that these thoughts are not real threats to us. The fact we are mortified by our thoughts is proof of this. We are not in any more danger than anyone else with ocd is. Ocd feels so real and that's why it's hard.
@AshTilly We are not in danger at all?? Are we? Ocd thoughts comes because we are afraid of them.., But why do i feel so sad/crying..
Hi there, sorry to hear you're struggling with this. It's hard to say too much based off of your post (if you aren't already speaking to a therapist, especially one trained in ERP, I highly suggest you do), but I can say from experience that there were many times that intrusive suicidal thoughts brought me to a tears, or a depressed state. Your body and mind are going through a lot with all of this stuff. You're constantly battling thoughts that have to do with your own mortality. It's no surprise that sadness will arise out of that. I want to focus on one thing in your post, and that's the question of whether or not the suicidal thoughts are "true." People seem to have this idea that thoughts are either true or false, or that they are "real" or "not real." Thoughts are thoughts. Nothing more, nothing less. They are information and patterns that arise in the brain based on past experiences. They say nothing about your future or yourself. I understand that might sound ridiculous, but it's something that you learn over time the more you come to understand anxiety and OCD. As for your specific case, again I'm not a trained therapist and don't know anything about you or your full situation, other than what you wrote here. Based on what you wrote, you seem fearful and uncertain about these thoughts you are having. To me, that's a clear indication that they are INTRUSIVE thoughts, and are something to work through with something like ERP training. When people really want to end their lives, there is no anxiety or uncertainty about whether or not their thoughts are "true," and they often don't talk about it with other people, as that would only serve to interfere with their plans. The fact that you are talking about it AND so clearly concerned about it, indicates otherwise.
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
There are times my harm ocd has me convinced that my feelings of self harm or suicide and harm are real and that any moment I could commit the act on myself or my family. Is there anyone who can chime in on this. I feel like all the time I want to leave run away or avoid my family because of these thoughts. Like I shouldn’t be around my children and I don’t trust myself.
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