- Date posted
- 1y
Something I’ve been dealing with for awhile
I’m not sure what this is, and this is probably not the best place for it, but I’m not sure where to search, I apologize I love my girlfriend but sometimes I feel like I don’t, like nothing is there, it’s just empty, i don’t understand my emotions, I don’t know why this happens, but when it does, I always end up crying or punishing myself for it, I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to find someone else or be alone, but I’m afraid that I’ll hurt her, or do something bad unintentionally, I don’t try to do any of these things purposefully, I was fearing that I’d lose feelings for her because I always did that with all of my ex partners, it always happens when I worry too much about it, i don’t want her to leave me, nor do I want to leave her, I just want to understand myself and understand why this is happening, why do I love her so much and want to stay, but something feels wrong? Something that makes me feel like I should leave, or I’m a bad person that’s leading her on, this pain is overwhelming, I hate dealing with this, I was praying this wouldn’t happen, I don’t want to leave her, I don’t know why my thoughts and everything are trying to pull her away, I just don’t understand myself I want to understand to keep this relationship