- Username
- Whitestar
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If you believe in God, please believe in a god that loves you unconditionally. Sexual thoughts are part of our nature, it's human to have them. If your sexual life is respectful and not hurting anyone then you shouldn't feel ashamed about it.
The fact that you freak out so much about these things show you really love God and you have a good heart. But that doesn't mean he doesnt know what you are going through which is scrupulosity. He's going to help you fight through it you will be just fine. And remember to always pray.
Thank you both very much
Do you think so? I feel so freaked out by the fact he can see into my brain. It’s like he watches me do everything. And I just can’t deal with that pressure :’(. My sexual life was totally fine and not hurting anyone, just a normal girl. But since having these thoughts it’s like I can’t stop ruminating about it. I don’t even know how to combat it.. how will I ever be able to kiss someone with my mind focusing on not enjoying it because God is watching and I feel anxiety inside about my thoughts
Look, I'm not religious but I used to be. From my experience I can tell you that if your God is a good presence then he doesn't judge what is going on in your head. Some thoughts could be intrusive and not even meaningful to who you really are. A good God wouldn't be so scrupulous about our minds , especially if he made us this way, with this ability to think about anything. Just try to focus more on your actions. If you're sure that your sexual life is respectful towards you and others, then don't be afraid to fulfill your desires.
@Bigheart God is a good God and He's not scrupulous. Scrupulosity doesn't come from Him because He has freed us from guilt and shame. God loves the sinner but hates sin. He didn't make us this way. "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." Genesis 1:27 His plans were never to harm us any kind of way. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 His word also says that" by His stripes we have been healed " Isaiah 53:7 Even though God knows the situation with our minds He also knows what's deep inside our hearts. That's all He sees.
Just went down a rabbit hole of googling a lot of stuff for almost 2 hours about pedophilia. And now I’ve got my self scared. I haven’t done it this bad in almost 2 months. I hate this. I was diagnosed with OCD, but some stuff I masturbated to a while back when I had a slight porn addiction is giving me proof. (Not actual children by the way) I’ve had OCD my whole life, and I’m starting to wonder if when I had thoughts about children before my huge spike if they were also intrusive, and I just didn’t care much about them then? Why would I just start caring now. I’m so broken.
I’m scared I had an orgasm to an intrusive thought of some disgusting image I saw on tiktok. If I did I don’t think I can live with myself and now I wanna take my own life. My mind was so full of intrusive thoughts it was crazy so I really don’t know what I had an orgasm to
This is all probably tmi, but I’m struggling quite a bit so please bear with me. I recently cut back/quit watching mainstream porn, but the other day I was searching for a certain scene from the movie “X” to use as a… replacement. (Mia Goth is one of my biggest celebrity crushes, and I was just trying to explore alternatives to traditional porn 🤦♀️) While looking for this, I stumbled upon an explicit scene of hers from the movie “Nymphomaniac” that I used instead. I’ve never seen this movie, so I was incredibly disgusted when I found out afterward that she was 18/19 when filming this movie and that her character in the movie is SUPPOSED TO BE 15. I’m 24, so needless to say, I was a bit horrified. I had no idea she was so young in this (or that the character she played was underage), and I feel sick that I used this to pleasure myself. None of this crossed my mind beforehand considering it was a pretty explicit scene in a mainstream film. I assumed she was around my age. Even though she was technically an adult while filming this, she was still far to young for me personally and I feel deeply ashamed. This event has triggered memories from the ages 18-22 (I worry even 23) where I would search the “teen” category (18-19) on porn websites. I feel disgusting for looking at this stuff once I got out of my teen years, and even though I stopped, I feel dirty and predatory for doing this in my early 20s. Before I took a hiatus from watching this content this year, I would only watch things where I could tell the actors were my age or older. But the past is haunting me. And I just feel so gross. I should have stuck with the scene from the movie I was searching for (because she was 28/29 in that and I KNEW that), or I shouldn’t have watched anything at all. Hell, typing this out is starting to make me obsess over whether I’m disgusting or not for doing this to something that wasn’t really intended to be “porn”. I feel like I’ve violated this actress by using this film for something it wasn’t really intended for. I know I should quit all of this entirely, but my medication makes it incredibly difficult to “perform”, and imagination alone just doesn’t work for me. I’m just so frustrated and everything I do makes me hate myself more. I’m sorry for the graphic nature of this post. I was just wondering if anyone could relate or give me some advice.
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