Stepping away?

Please help anyone else here with Religious ocd and is a Christian? My brain is going hay-wire and want to know I'm not alone... what do your thoughts say and how do you overcome compulsions? Im going through a rough moment and feel sick with anxiety and stiff. I want to obey God but my thoughts won't stop. I surrender to the Lord and then I have peace with the compulsions and they go away but the thoughts are the scary part please - is this spiritual or is it mental? Or is it both? Would love to hear a Christians opinion on this... because my thoughts latch on and won't dissappear but I know that the Bible commands us to take control of our thoughts and to renew our minds...yet God has grace for this and mercy for our every need... I know God is in control (completely) and my mind creates a lot of the issues for me without any spiritual stuff (it's a very powerful thing) but it's still scary. Lord help me, I surrender myself to you Jesus, counsel my soul and help me.

so my dad is Jewish and my mom is Christian. I used to go to Hebrew school when I was younger, but recently I started going to church and becoming a Christian and turning to Jesus and when I recently got diagnosed with OCD a couple months ago I had really really bad religious OCD. I had very disrespectful thoughts about Jesusand God, but mainly Jesus. and I had very disturbing thoughts about Jesus that made me avoid a lot of things, but I know that’s making the OCD worse. I’m doing erp currently my religious OCD has honestly gone away. I’ve dealt with it. I am managing it but ever since I’ve had religious OCD and had disturbing and disrespectful thoughts about God in Jesus mainly Jesus, I’ve felt a awkward distance between me, God and Jesus and it just feels like I’m going to hell and they don’t love me anymore and I haven’t felt the same presence from God ever since I’ve had religious OCD and I’ve had some situations that I felt like I blasphemy the Holy Spirit and I committed blasphemy and I just feel like God really doesn’t love me anymore and I’m done for i’ve kind of been numb to it so it’s not really bothering me, but I want a better relationship with God and Jesus it just feels like they don’t love me anymore. Has anyone else gone through this? and I’ve had situations where I felt like I was very disrespectful and mocked God and Jesus, but mainly Jesus. And i freaked out for days didn’t feel like myself repented multiple times pretty sure this is just religious OCD but seriously I have not felt the same with my relationship with God and Jesus. OCD has really really affected my life and it sucks. I’m going through Harm OCD right now. So religious OCD has kinda gone away but I just want a better relationship with God and Jesus sorry this text is so long. Has anyone else gone through this?

I’m realizing that maybe my OCD gave me all the doubts about God and that’s what helped me be able to leave my religion (Christian Baptist Fundamentalist). Everyone around me never doubted as much as me or had as much skepticism (at least not out loud) and I never understood why I was so different from them. What is your experience with OCD and religion? Did it make you decide to leave? To stay? How do you feel about religion and OCD now?