ROCD

How do you know if its rocd or not? Or if you’re just finding excuses for being a terrible person

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

ur not a terrible person because you wouldn't feel guilty but to be honest you have to accept the uncertainty behind you being a bad person or having the thoughts that a bad person would have and accept the guilt to reinforce that you are a good person but the thoughts are just a product of your need for everything to be 100% one way or the other. which in reality it will never be that way u'll always have thoughts that contradict what you want to feel but if you accept them as passing thoughts and understand that the majority of your feelings gravitate towards a positive reality then u'll slowly become desensitized to your intrusive thoughts

Anonymous123...

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Thanks for this ❤️. Ive been trying to find someone who has gone through my exact issue to confirm if this is an rocd thought. I feel like crying… i just feel bad. Half of me is trying to justify the thought which is bad… and makes me feel like im looking for excuses and the other half is trying to make sure its rocd related.. i dont wanna reassurance seek… but i dont want to be this bad person hes in a relationship with. I genuinely hate my brain… my ocd has been kicking my ass lately whenever i get in relationships that cause me to have high emotions.. its like my brain doesn’t want me to be happy.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous123456789# for me i have rlly intrusive thoughts and crushes and feelings and i wish it were all thoughts in my brain but it feels like theyre interconnected which convinces me its a crush and then i feel guilty and like a horrible person bcs i dont wanna feela ttracted to anyone else and im sure u can imagine the cycle considering u suffer from rocd as well. i dont know if its abt crushes for u or if its abt the compatibility or the fate of ur relationship or intrusive thoughts/icks abt ur partner but either way its all normal and to be honest ur brain wants u to be happy but ur disorder does not. it targets ur biggest fears and reflects them as a reality so until u desensitive urself it will keep perpetuating.

OCDeeznutzzz

Date posted: 1y

While seeking reassurance usually isn’t helpful as someone who has accepted the disertenty to a certain extent, I have to say just telling myself okay so MAYBE I could be a bad person but clearly I am self aware enough to get better so at the very least there are ways to solve that problem :) either way the result ends with you not being a bad person, just a human

Anonymous123...

Date posted: 1y

@OCDeeznutzzz This made me wanna cry some more when i read it… i agree with what u said. Its just the confessing that fucks me up… in the chance of that possibility being true

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

Comment deleted by user

Anonymous123...

Date posted: 1y

@Bigotina Relationship ocd

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Bigotina rocd is literally anything u dont want to feel or think while in a relationship. it could be about ruminating the end of ur relationship or anticipating it out of fear. or it could be convincing urself u dont love ur partner. it could be literally anything u see as a fear in ur relationship and something ur scared u cant control that ur ocd targets. it could be abt finding others attractive or not feeling anything or constantly second guessing ur partners intentions, speculation of cheating/unfaithfulness, etc.

Anonymous123...

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Tw for those struggling with rocd.. Hi your post really helped in my time of need then and i was hoping you could maybe help me now. My ocd is attaching on to whether or not i find my partner attractive. Its hard.. i cant tell if its ocd or not. I struggle with finding myself good looking and body dysmorphia and now its latched on to him.. first it was the guilt of finding others attractive now its this. My partner also struggles with his feelings on how he looks… so i feel like this is doing more damage than anything if i went into specifics about it with him. Our relationship has been going through a really rough patch and hes trying to move states for me to really give us a go… but i feel guilty. My brain keeps telling me that its not right cause of this thought. When i say my morales dont want to fixate on someones looks and rather on how that person treats me i… still cant get past it. And hes putting his livelihood on the line. Any insight plz would be great

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous123456789# this is allllll normal. i think its hard to define each and every thought as intrusive or ocd because they're all accustomed to what WE don't want to feel and they're situational so not everyone can relate to the same thoughts or feelings. but it is the same root cause. u have ocd, u don't want to feel or think it and ocd makes u have feelings and thoughts u don't want. u just need to keep living ur life with it so that ur desensitized to it bcs then jt will stop bothering u and become less frequent. most importantly, choose love when u can't feel it in you because u don't want to feel negatively so just don't act on them. u need to be okay with the uncertainty of ur feelings and the fluctuations of them so that you can move past this discomfort and fear that attracts ocd thoughts. again all normal and valid but teach urself how to detach from the thoughts

Anonymous123...

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Just wanted to come on here and say thank you so much. Your words helped me work through another rough patch. I appreciate it and am wishing you all the best in your own battles with ocd. Thanks again

Angel1717

Date posted: 22w

ROCD or DENIAL?

So I haven’t been diagnosed with ROCD but I’ve kinda self-diagnosed myself because of my repeated thought patterns and my way to escape them by searching for answers online (“signs I love her” or taking “do I love her or am I attached/codependent” quizzes) and asking loved ones how they knew they were in love. But recently I started to question this symptom of ROCD, wouldn’t someone in denial about loosing feelings for their partner do the same thing? (try to look for reasons that they do love their partner) I started to feel emotionless and apathy for my partner around the 3 month mark but as we grew closer and had real and emotional talks I started to regain my feelings. But sometimes when we are cuddling i’ll get this sudden emotionless feeling and it gives me anxiety. (It also scares me to think this started at the 3 month mark due to the 3 month rule phenomenon I see on social media) Our relationship has always been soo healthy, I really love my girlfriend and I know it but Im not to sure if i’m actually “IN LOVE.” I sometimes get intrusive thoughts about her looks and feel like im in love with her physical potential rather than how she looks now and that feels so wrong but don’t get me wrong either I still still think she’s beautiful regardless of how she looks. I love everything else about her like her personality, kindness, generosity, and loyalty. She’s my first girlfriend so I don’t know how to distinguish between loving someone and being in love with someone. I also don’t know how to or how it feels to move on from someone after so many emotional/special moments with them and the thought about starting a new relationship makes me feel uncomfortable and is just something I don’t want, hence the feeling that I might just be attached/codependent. I feel so uncomfortable when thinking that if we break up I might never see her again and we’ll never get to rejoice in sharing these emotional, special, and beautiful moments. I want it to be her that I spend the rest of my life with so badly but I feel like my mind is stopping me from picturing a future of us together even though that’s what I really want. (writing this sentence^ I got the intrusive thought of “are you sure that’s what you really want” and now i’m questioning myself) I also can’t help but feel this intense anxiousness in my chest and an inner gut feeling/voice telling me to break up with her without any reason other than because I have a strong feeling she isn’t the one. I haven’t acted on this feeling because In the case that I do have ROCD I know this gut feeling/intuition cannot be trusted. I also read, in the case that I do have ROCD the way to treat it is to endure the anxiety and face uncertainty but I feel like there is no uncertainty about my relationship. I feel 100% safe with her and that she won’t cheat on me, so why do i feel like this!!! I don’t want to endure this anxiety forever, I’m so confused! I’m currently looking for therapy to help decipher my feelings correctly and see if I’m experiencing ROCD. But according to what i’ve explained.. Is this ROCD or DENIAL about losing feelings?

ashazalia

Date posted: 21w

Relationship issues?

Does anyone know how can you determine ROCD compulsive thoughts vs actual relationship issues necessary to bring up? I’ve been in multiple abusive relationships in the past and I don’t want to go through that again. I’ve been with my partner for 3 years, we’re both mentally ill and we’ve hurt each other a lot over the years. I have some trauma due to their alcoholism, but I want to still be there for her. However my head is constantly telling me that whenever they’re gone I’m worried they’re drinking and cheating, trying to harm themself, planning on harming me or they’re gonna die if im not basically with them 24/7. Even when I want time to myself I force myself to be with them sometimes out of fear. I see them do/say something that might suggest these things (following a new girl, ignoring my texts while they’re out, raising their voice at me etc.) and I’m even more convinced and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know what is a suspicion I SHOULD bring up to them, and what is just a compulsive thought. :( How do I determine that?

Mk3

Date posted: 14w

Rocd

Is it normal to analyze every thought & feeling you have? For example. If I had a feeling like I wanted to flirt or if I felt like I wasn’t sad when my partner left for the night ETC. I over analyze these and they lead me to thinking I’m a bad partner or it’s not the right relationship. This scares me so bad Is this basically ROCD in a nutshell? It feels so overwhelming when thinking about all the different feelings and thoughts I’ve had over time

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