Not again...

I've been doing so much better these past 2 weeks, I actually thought I was beginning o recover... However a few minutes ago I had a horrific thought about one of my cats, she was lying next o me on the bed with her belly up and I was stroking her, I was actually comfortable being by her and was petting her and kissing her and she looked so cute when suddenly my eyes drifted to the lower part of her belly and these horrific thought popped up saying: "I wamt to r*p3 my cat " I also got a horrible intrusive image, and I was absolutely disgusted but felt little to no anxiety to the thought which is really scary. I had to get away from her out of fear of hurting her and now I feel like i'm spiraling and falling back down into the deep dark hole I was at. I was feeling good today (i haven't felt like this in almost a year) and now I can be with my cats normally, comparing when my harm OCD was at it's peak I couln't even be near them. So why is this happening again, and why did I look at my cat's pr*vate parts and felt I did it purpose w bad intentions????!! I don't want to hurt my kitty 😭

Username: no.commentno.comment

Date posted: 32w ago

Get back over there to where your cat is and pet her again, it's an exposure. Your lack of anxiety in the moment you had that thought shows great progress with your ocd! This is looking like recovery to me! Keep being around your cat to overcome the fears and accept the thoughts. You can do it!!

Username: ocdJZwarriorocdJZwarrior

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 32w ago

I agree! This is just a speed hump in your ocd journey. Don't let this trigger send you back down the rabbit hole. Use this to practice response prevention. Good luck friend 🧡

Username: ryann.doolanryann.doolan

Date posted: 32w ago

don’t let this set you back! use it to move foward! go over and pet ur cat again! exposure is key! remember your ocd is not you. if YOU don’t FEEL like you want to hurt ur cat, than you don’t. if OCD is telling you that you do just know that’s not you telling u that. YOU know how YOU feel and if you say that you don’t want to hurt your cat then believe yourself! don’t believe what ocd tells you

Username: lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

Please please need advice 😞

Today I woke up and told myself I wasn’t going to engage with the intrusive thoughts, I went downstairs and I was trying to avoid having intrusive thoughts about suffocating my cat with the pillow, but I kept feeling tempted to have the thoughts and thinking ‘maybe you do like the idea’ and I started worrying and thinking what if Through the thoughts I know how it feels to do that (because when your having the thoughts/ruminating it feels very real, almost like it’s already happened or I’ve lived through that) and now I’m desperate to do that or what if I’m secretly curious about how it feels to do that that’s why I can’t ignore the thoughts and keep feeling tempted to think about them. Or I was thinking what if through the thoughts I like the feeling of doing that but I have a conscious so now I have evil desires but I’m a good person so I don’t want to do it. I feel awful I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m believing this notion more and more everyday, I hate this and don’t know what to do

Username: blackitty27

Date posted: 1y ago

Harm ocd episode

This morning my cat was following my everywhere and my harm theme was so intense after a nightmare I had last night, I could not calm down because wherever I went she went there with me and I kept avoiding. It pains me so freakin much, she is such a sweet and loving kitty and it's so horrible that I can't even be near her and give her the love she demands due to my harm ocd. I felt so anxious and scared and at one point I even felt so annoyed with her and it scared me! I sat down on the floor outside my room and started sobbing and suddenly said out loud "I can't deal with this anymore" and at that point I felt impeding doom and felt that I was going to get up at any sec and hurt my cats and my family, I really thought 'this is it, it's about to happen' ...I don't get this, it felt so fkcn real, I did not do anything but I literally felt I was going to and now i'm so traumatized :(

Harm OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 36w ago

i feel like this is going to sound bad

whenever i have harm ocd thoughts abt hurting my cat, normally i get really scared and i used to avoid being close to him or near him when those thoughts were there, but recently as ive been trying to work through them i find that im not scared. not only that though, whenever i have my hands near any places where my mind is telling me i could take advantage of, seeing that my cat is still happy and not afraid, reassures me that i havent ever acted in any way similar to what i think.. i find it comforting but i feel like its disgusting and fucked up of me to continue interacting with my cat and to be in any position where i could hurt him if those thoughts are there it feels like i enjoy the thoughts.. but i definitely dont! i just enjoy being able to still love him 😞 is this weird? i feel even worse for being concerned abt it

Harm OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Not again...

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community