I’m angry. Irritated. Whatever. I’m in a day program and yesterday they’re freaking out because I was open about my harm ocd. The dr I saw yesterday in the afternoon that wasn’t my actual doctor talked to me and told them it’s just ocd. Today my actual doctor told me to TELL MY FATHER THE THOUGHTS I GET OF STABBING HIM AND MY MOM IN THEIR SLEEP. Because “I don’t think he’d understand if he heard it from me” ME EITHER. Why the HELL would you give meaning to my thought?! Why would you make me tell him?! There’s no purpose, he’s an idiot! He was like “so you get thoughts of murdering us in our sleep” and said “should I be ready”. And then my dumb self mentioned my pocd while trying to explain ocd to him. ?‍♀️ He’s “trying” to be better then he used to be but he still pisses me off. I miss my best friend, I used to trust her with this stuff. I hate talking about my dad to anyone else.

Yeah, my dad doesn't understand my OCD symptoms either?? He's all like "why don't you just stop the repetitive actions" and I'm like "because it causes me severe distress if I don't" and he's all like"?." Ughh? The fact of the matter is that people without OCD just don't get us. BUT! Here, we do get you. We understand that you are not a bad person, as a matter of fact, the fact that those thoughts cause you distress proves it! Is the doctor that told you to do that a general doctor or a actual OCD therapist?

Hey! From what I understand, you told your father and he said if he should be ready, right? Sorry, I wasn't clear on that. But I do know that when it comes to speaking about OCD it's better to expect people to react erroneously and not blame them at least at the moment we are "coming out" on telling them (which actually is the moment we need them the most). We are all soooo used to go through life without questioning our thoughts, desires, and behaviors that we always think they are the same and that they all come from the same place: us and who we "are or might want to be". So you mention OCD yo someone and they quickly think their's at least a hidden temptation or desire on you to act on whatever you are mentioning you are affraid of. Keep explaining them what OCD is and hopefully he might understand better. Wether we like it or not, our family is important in supoorting us. But if they don't, then we still find a way to push through! You are not your mind and You're loved ❤ keep pushing?

@Infinite1010 The Doctor is a general doctor. My therapist is not someone who actually deals specifically with OCD, and I just got diagnosed with BPD, so my therapist and psyche wanted me to go to a day program for “crisis” basically. But I’m hoping after they’ll be able to find me someone who specializes in ocd and takes my insurance and that I’d be able to get to them since I have no car.

@TonyOCD yeah, that’s what he said. In the past my father has been an asshole, and honestly I have trouble trusting him for that reason. I think he’s trying to be better now, but it’s still hard to trust him. He at least wasn’t angry about it, but he got defensive when I tried to explain.

Mars, but few therapists know how to treat OCD well. I dont know where you live, but The Behavioral Wellness Clinic specializes specifically in OCD treatment. I might be wrong here, but I think they accept insurance and, even if they don't, they do have low fee opportunities for people in need. I provided evidence of my need and believe me I'm in treatment at a rate that is nowhere near their normal ones. They also provide teleconsultation in case you live far. Look for them on the internet or try to find help near you in the International OCD Foundation website. A general doctor knows nothing about psychological disorders and diagnoses yet for some reason people make the mistake of consulting them for psychological conditions. Even worse they can make the mistake of telling you what to do instead of referring you to proper assistance. A general doctor is where my mom took me the first time I told her I had OCD 11 years ago. There's nothing he could do then. Hang in there ❤

@Mars I see. Here are a few great resources to finding a specialized therapist! First start here, because the therapists that are recommended are very specialized in OCD https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/find-help/ If none are the right fit from there, then using this resource will help you find more, plus you can also filter for BPD https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists Now, I will say, I strongly recommend that when you contact a therapist to first ask if they accept your insurance, then also ask about the BPD. The second part is a little important because I waited like 2 1/2 months to see a therapist just for her to say "I can't help you because you have co-occuring disorders" so that sucked. My current therapist specializes in OCD and understands I have other co-occuring disorders, but we are just working on the OCD. So take a look and message as many as you think are a good fit and see if they can work with you. Good luck?