I don't feel real nowadays

I had this when I was 18.. I didn’t know what it was lo and behold at the age of 34 I realised it was OCD. Now I didn’t know I had it and happily carried on my life until late last year I had a bout of it with a rather horrible theme. Derealisation / depersonalisation is what I had. It was like everything was made up? Like I was watching myself, Truman show style. But one day I remember just saying to myself I accept it whatever, real hard acceptance… when I no longer fought it, it went. Not saying that this is true for everyone but just my experience. Get some exposure and practice acceptance in the present, that’s really where you need to be tuning into xx

Ah, is it derealisation?

Totally have these thoughts and feelings from time to time. At first they were constant. I felt like I was going crazy. I did ERP for those existential fears and now the derealization only pops up about once a month. Almost like a monthly cycle. When it happens I do exposures. The feeling is only there because your focus is so turned in on your inner thoughts that you’re not paying attention to the outside world. OCD likes to run with that feeling and concoct all these existential reasons why you’re feeling that way. A mistake I made early in treatment was thinking I had to believe the thoughts in order to do a proper exposure. Instead, when you doubt your existence, try to make an exposure where you say “maybe, maybe not” and go on living as if reality is real. So live with the uncertainty of not knowing if your worst fear is true. Basically dropping the question and living life in spite of not knowing. It gets better and easier with practice. You’ve got this!

honestly- is anything ACTUALLY real? Scientists are confirming we live in a matrix... simulation, etc. so... maybe you aren't odd for questioning existence... just the sheeple who don't know/believe that think you're "crazy" or whatever if you mention it.