- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
This is so relatable. I can't stop thinking that being so boy crazy when I was younger jinxed adult me ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I just really hope we can all get over this
- Date posted
- 5y
Same. You're not alone.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand how you feel. But if you truly were becoming attracted to women , so be it. You don’t like it now , but many times as people get used to something , they start to become okay with it and may even grow to love it. Think about any person you’ve ever starting out disliking or hating. And as you get to know them and spend more time with them , you’ll realize they weren’t so bad after all and you can’t believe you didn’t like them before. That applies here even if it doesn’t seem that way right now. You can still be a woman who likes other women !! How does that change your identity as a woman ? It really shouldn’t because the two can go together just fine
- Date posted
- 5y
It's not about it changing our identity as women. It's about our identity in general. No one wants something that made them happy ripped out of their hands against their will.
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel exactly the same sometimes
- Date posted
- 5y
I know its so hard to accept this is me now
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 nobody said that’s something you would want ... I’m trying to help here. And I understand that , but the only way you will recover is if you accept that that part of you may have changed. I’ve been through this for many years . I think I know that it’s not fun . Don’t try it
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 maybe I could have worded my response better. What I was trying to say was that you have to come to terms with it as a possibility. Because constantly trying to hang onto that part of you that you do not want to lose , while understandable and relatable , is not going to stifle the cycle of OCD. It reinforces to your mind and brain that any other possibility is a threat , and that’s simply not what you want with OCD. I’m saddened that my response came off disrespectfully or ignorant. But I’ve been through this for many years as I said , so I’m just trying to help .
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 but you’re 100% right . I could have explained my point way better . Forget I even said anything . @hocdgirlsummer , being attracted to women wouldn’t change who you are as a person. You are more than your sexuality , remember that :) You could have the same friends , same interests , and same hobbies !! Would there be some challenges ? Maybe , but that’s okay . You could overcome those and grow as a result of them . Wishing you nothing but the best ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Okay that makes a lot of sense! I will try but its like ive lowkey already accepted it because i stopped caring for a long time. In that time i lost anxiety but it just bounced back because i still didnt feel like who i was. I was more relaxed than i was before but thats it. Its like i jusr cant be who i was without attravtion because its like my network crashed. A lot of things i liked because they somehow had maybe a link to boys but if indont like them indont know what i like. It feels just empty
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm starting to feel comfortable saying I just don't want to label myself. That way it doesn't feel like I'm being disingenuous to anyone. I can accept the hocd intrusive thoughts that way. Is that wrong?
- Date posted
- 5y
Or is that idea on the right track
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer the crashing of your attraction will not last forever. It’s basically like having to sit with the pain for a while and just accept how you feel , and by doing that , you teach your brain that there’s no threat and your brain won’t be so frantic , which will make it so that you aren’t drained out and can feel everything you used to feel
- Date posted
- 5y
Can somebody please set my mind free.
- Date posted
- 5y
Xiiiandreww well thats basically the problem that i cant be myself like this. Why? Vecause boys actually made me happy. What my brain does is thinking i like woman. I never actually liked a woman. I never felt the way i felt for boys for woman. I have expierenced love and being in love with boys and never have i exoerienced it with woman. So basically what my mind does is slowely kill any attraction to men and start tellig my brain inlike woman but its not right andit feels misplaced it feels like im being forced to like woman and there is no way to give in or accept that if its not the true me. If if was and it felt right i wouldve gave in a long time ago to pass all this suffering. Its more that i cant be happy and cant do my hobbies and live my dreams because it all dont feel same anymore. It all feels grey and numb due to this. So if i would “accept the possibility” i would never be happy again suddenly because by doing that i wouldnt recieve the hapiness of liking and being in love with boys and i need that kind of hapiness to enjoy those things again.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer I get why you say that accepting it would make it difficult for you to happy but you really should not tell yourself that. By telling yourself that , you are requiring your brain and mind to believe it as well and that makes it harder to break the cycle. You definitely don’t have to say that you aren’t straight just to come to acceptance , but you should at the very least try to accept that you don’t know and can’t know the answer with 100% certainty. You are exactly the person you were before this , but anxiety has a way of making you have less energy and it drains you of your previous attraction. That’s why you have to accept it as a possibility , so you train your mind to be okay with it and you begin to realize that there’s even more to life than who you are attracted to. I know it’s hard but trust me it’s possible. People have told themselves they couldn’t be happy without being attracted to who they were attracted to before only to come to accept the uncertainty and be happy nonetheless. Once you start to embrace the fact that you don’t know , and you recognize how you feel without judging yourself or your thoughts , you’ll probably feel less drained and who you were before will start to show up again !
- Date posted
- 5y
For a long time I did accept it. I identified as bisexual even though deep down I knew that I wasn't really into girls. That started to cause it's own issue for me. I guess one if my obsessions is the fear of lying or being imposter. How do I fix that? It's like every possibility is a catch 22 for me. I'm damned if I do I'm damn if I don't.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 that’s the perfect thing to do!! You aren’t putting any pressure on yourself to fit into a box which is great. That way you don’t tell yourself that you’re bi but you don’t tell yourself your straight either.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.
- Real Events OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- False Memory OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 20w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
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