Partner Focused ROCD💔

okay girl i totally understand. so what we as people with rocd fail to understand is that there absolutely WILL BE valid things that we do not like about our partner. now, other people may not be as diligent and focused on detail and that certainly is a big reason why we focus in on these things when we get a thought, which in turn creates more thoughts from this one. the biggest thing im dealing with right now and the “hill i’m climbing” of you will is understanding and APPLYING that there are something’s that i just cannot change. i cannot change the way my partner says something, i cannot control the way my partner looks, dresses, acts and most importantly I CANNOT CONTROL WHEN OR IF I GET ANXIOUS and that is the real root of this. if we can begin to apply this to our lives and understand that we can’t even control that…we can understand more how and why our brain reacts the way it does when it picks up a flaw. it allows us to dig deeper on that thought: NOT THAT ITS TRUE, because remember our ocd has a tendency to misconstrue and feed off of rumination and most ocd thoughts are ego dystonic and i don’t want to give you too much reassurance. however if we learn to live by our values and morals even if that day it’s just- your love and care for your partner and that’s it, THATS OKAY. there are so so many things in rocd that we blow up and out of proportion through a lens of fear because it triggers our fight or flight, and because at one point this is what kept us safe.

ofc!! and to maybe drive this home for you (and maybe also help me too!) when i met my current partner, i was head over heels and i was obsessed with everything about her, and then one day i wasn’t. i was so scared and i tried so so hard to feel in love but i didnt bc i was forcing it (feelings not my truth) it wasn’t because either one of us did anything, that day i just didn’t feel it. and that happens. that’s normal and we’re allowed to have those moments. flash forward 5 months later i got my ocd diagnosis, just around the time my partner and i got back together (yes guys rocd got me and we broke up was totally necessary tho) it felt liberating to know but also was super uncomfortable to know that this is what drives these thoughts and how in the world and i going to be able to get through this. we get through this by choosing love and staying in the relationship. even if we think we’re lying, even if we think today we’ve never loved them and it feels like we’re frozen. there is such a thing as seeing a flaw THATS NORMAL in the best relationships. but i promise this too shall pass i say this in the middle of a spike! remember to live by ur values and know that we can make it feel less loud it just takes hard work and grounding!!