Thesis

I work as a Digital Art Instructor for my job, and recently we've started opening up workshops to the public. This Friday, I have to teach a class on how to draw chibi anime characters and I'm absolutely petrified. I can barely eat or sleep and feel like crying all the time. My imposter syndrome is killing me and I feel like such a fake artist who has no right to be teaching anyone. My boss obviously doesn't care and hasn't been too kind about it, which is whatever because it's not her problem, but it doesn’t help. I'm just so frustrated. I hate being like this. This is supposed to be so easy. I know comparing myself to other people doesn't help, but I just feel so useless. Why is everything so hard for me? I think the worst part is, even when it's over and done and I'm somehow able to function again, I know I'll have to go through it all over again next time. Not necessarily looking for anything, just venting. Kind words are appreciated or any recount of other people dealing with this would help make me feel less alone. Thanks.

I can't deal with these thoughts anymore I'm so scared its all the time every day. It's gotten to the point where the anxiety is gone and I keep on getting thoughts that say maybe I will do it. I can't do this it's so fucking scary I don't know if I can handle it until my therapy appointment on Monday

I have a therapist appointment tomorrow and I’m worried they’re gonna think I’m a weirdo/monster for my OCD, I’m just really worried to be honest now