Signs…

I'm adding a trigger warning for those with Health OCD and Existential OCD, just to be safe! The past week, I've been experiencing a lot of déjà vu. I'll post something and immediately feel a strong sense of familiarity, like I've done it before. It's been happening so often, I'm questioning if I am actually repeating things and not noticing, but then there's obvious moments, like phoning my dad for help fixing my pc that can't be replicated. Then, just before writing this post, I'd been thinking about going on a walk, and I got déjà vu having that thought. After, I felt this strange impending doom? Like, if I go on the walk, I'm going to get kidnapped, or something bad is going to happen to me. I'm not sure what this is. I'm not super freaked out, just curious and keeping track of how often it's happening... I'm still going to go on that walk, though, because I feel like if I don't, it'll feed into this fear I have.

I keep seeing coupled numbers or angel numbers and having dejvu and in my mind when I get constant Deja Vu which in my mind means something bad is about ti happen I have had it 6 times today 3 in the last hour and I honestly feel like I'm going insane whether its Deja Vu of the numbers it causes me to question every action I make. If I see the numbers or get Deja Vu it dictates my day and I can't live this way anymore. Everyone I try and talk to doesn't understand and there is no way I can ever tell anyone about my violent intrusive thoughts the one time I did my mother called the police. Sorry for the run-on sentences and if it doesn't flow right I'm just really struggling right now and have been for a long time and I just want help I'm scared of my own mind. Thank you for whoever answers this post just one person would sadly make my day.

Like things that feel like ‘evidence’ and clues…. It’s like I can’t let these things go. I’m not talking about ‘signs from the universe’ , I mean actual real life things your ocd is using against you. Not reassurance seeking.