Hello friend. I’d like to think that I’ve got a lot of experience with the nuances of this crap by now. It is still confusing and it is still scary at times. But I love scary. We must love the scariness, we want more.
Now, we know that we don’t really like being anxious and afraid, but OCD is a paradoxical disease. The more you do to make yourself safe (ruminating for a solution, researching, seeking reassurance) will only make you worse. So, to improve or at least manage it so you can go about your life is to do the opposite. Accept the unknown, sit with the anxiety and fear, and want what you don’t want. That’s not easy, I know it. I live it too. But, over time…weeks, months, even more, it does improve. We have to rewire our brains to not accept the illogical as fact - but as a slight possibility and we can live with that.
So, initially, don’t ignore it. Sit with the fear, do ERP, be scared, welcome it, and look it in the face. Once your SUDs come down and your practice is over - you may practice throughout the day in real time (I still do), you will get to a point where you say - I see you OCD and I see the fear you want me to feel. I recognize it, but I’m choosing to get back to my work, movie, or book. There is a balance. Don’t run from it (avoidance) but choose to change the channel because you have better 💩 to do. With that said, I’ve been up for an hour now - my OCD is relapsing a little bit since returning from a trip - so I see the feelings and the intrusive thoughts. I’m going to do some ERP for a bit and I’m going to take my dog for a walk and go to work. You’ve got this. We all do!